What a Trek!
I finally made it, after what seemed like forever! What was supposed to be a total of 4 hours travel time, turned out to be 8! Let me humor you with my story: boarded the plane at Minneapolis and arrived safely in Phoenix...time to transfer= 30 minutes- took a badly needed bathroom break...boarded a flight en route from Phoenix to SFO. 30 minutes away from SFO, the captain announces that the flight attendants and some passengers in the back have detected a mysterious odor and because they don't know what it is, he's turning the plane around and heading back to Phoenix. Wait! I sit in the back and do I smell anything weird? Ewww...is that Bengay I smell?! As the announcement ends, the grunts, groans, bitching, and whining commence..."Are you serious?!" "Why can't we fly into a closer airport?!" "I can't believe that this is happening to ME!" "Did you know I switched to this flight thinking I'd arrive earlier?!" "Can't they just figure it out in San Francisco?!" and my personal favorite, "Shit!" ('scuse the French!). The plane does an about face, we land in Phoenix yet again...deja vu?...are quickly led to another gate and are put in two lines according to last name...course, everyone just had to bum-rush the gate..somehow feeling like a herd of cows as we slowly inch forward....Moooooo!....are encouraged to "quickly take our seat" by a much-too-perky flight attendant...hey! same seats, lady!....awww man, how'd that guy buy pizza and get to his seat so fast?!...we get seated and buckled in and much-too-perky flight attendant announces that we should be leaving in about 10 minutes...YAY! shouts of joy- literally...20 minutes later, MTP flight attendant explains that the original pilots of our other plane cannot continue with the flight due to FDA regulations- they gotta find another crew...crap, another 20 minutes....more grunts, groans, bitching, and whining...MTP, now only "just perky", tells us that hey, we've got one pilot, but they're having difficulty finding the other one! Eh??? Now mind you, everyone is seated, buckled, flight attendants ready to go, co-pilot in place, captain nowhere to be seen, and this all takes place in an UNcooled grounded airplane in Arizona where the temp outside is 105 and passengers are cranky, hungry, and about ready to bop that perky flight attendant on the head if she delivers more bad news! "Don't shoot, I'm just the messenger!", I know, I know! I see her about to make an announcement...in the corner of my eye are some disgruntled passengers about to throw their shoe at someone! Not-so-perky announces that yes, they found the pilot and yes, he's on his way...AND since it's so damn hot, they're having some water and snacks brought over- btw: snacks = chips and salsa. Whatever. I'm hungry! Balding Asian guy in suspenders blurts out, "Is it free? I just want to make sure it's free!" Dude, if it wasn't, you'd refuse and choose to dehydrate?! It's free buddy, absolutely free. Goodness! Much to my surprise, the grunts, groans, bitching, and whining escalates..."That water BETTER be cold!" "Snacks?! That's it?!" "I want a meal, we deserve a free meal!"An annoying lady directly in back of me keeps complaining and as she does, her legs or knees are digging into my back...she had better have some uncontrolled spasms in her legs 'cuz I'm about to tell her how I really feel...in my head thinking, "Shut up already! Damn!" Now I have to say that NOT all the passengers decided to gripe about one thing or another...I'd say about 1/2 of the people were cool, calm, and collected. That's me baby! Ain't no use crying over spilled milk- as the saying goes...The people in my row were cool, friendly, 40ish, laughing and makin' jokes...I offer them fruit Mentos ("the fresh maker!") to hold them over...ever so grateful are they! Captain comes, we take off, I bury my nose into a book that I had no intention of finishing, but do, and we arrive in SFO three hours behind schedule...

Forgot to Mention...
I have E.S.P. Don't laugh! Actually, hehe, EVERYONE has it...just depends how OPEN you are to it... I'm not a psychic or anything...if I was, I'd be a LOTTO winner already....but I do get these "feelings" and/or thoughts before certain events happen. Some call it a coincidence, but I call it my "sixth sense." (I said, "sixth" people, NOT "sick!"). I had a feeling that something might happen to the plane. 'Course, the other stuff that followed that original thought ends in a fiery crash, but let's not go there! The thought trickled out as fast as it came. Did our plane turn around for nothing? Get this: the captain explained that the mysterious odor the flight attendants smelled were the fumes of the dying battery...THE BATTERY! As he commended his crew for a job well done, he further explained that the decision to turn back was a VERY GOOD; if we hadn't, our safety would have definitely been in danger...Good Lord! The Good Lord was watchin' over us!

A "Quickie"
As I'm waiting to board my flight, the white courtesy operator makes an announcement, "Peter Weiner...Peter Weiner...white courtesy telephone...Peter Weiner." Did ANYONE ELSE just hear that?! "Peter Weiner...Peter Weiner..." Oh my gosh, this is such a Chandler moment that I so wish I could share it with Doh! "Peter Weiner..." Am I the ONLY ONE who's going to bust out laughing at this childish and immature, yet so deserving moment?! "Peter Weiner..." Alas! What's that? Was that muffled laughter? Snickering perhaps? SCORE! The couple next to me starts laughing and I crack a smile...Hmmph...how childish...=p