Dearest Ran...

I went to a wedding today. The weather was absolutely wonderful in Berkeley...sunny skies without a cloud to be seen...perfect day for a wedding. The church was an older one, but beautiful in its age and simplicity in many ways.

When I woke up this morning, the usual dread that I've come to know before going to a wedding didn't come at all. No bitter comments, no angry curse words, nothing of the sort that would translate into something sarcastic.

I didn't even think of you...until this song was sung:

Plan on Forever
Sue Ann Carwell & Mervyn Warren

I have planned my life, to the last detail
With a story book romance to fill my days
But the funny thing about answered prayer
Is they come to you in unexpected ways

How could I plan on forever?
When I never planned on you
Someone to fall for
To love for all eternity
Baby let's plan on forever
And watch all our dreams come true
You're what I live for
Who I can give for ever to
My destiny is you

Cause you danced with me, and the earth stood still
My heart can't quite believe how right this seems
When you're in my arms the truth of us
Is better than the best of all my dreams

How could I plan on forever?
When I never planned on u
Someone to fall for
To love for all eternity
Baby let's plan on forever
And watch all our dreams come true
You're what I live for
Who I can give forever to
My destiny is u

Sometimes the one you're right
for is standing too close to see
But u saw the light and never gave up on me

Baby, let's plan on forever
And watch all our dreams come true
You're what I live for
Who I can give for ever to
Now I see
My destiny
Is you
-------------------------------

The tug that I felt in my heart was due to all of the feelings that I had for you. You know that when I married you, I wanted forever with you. I gave you my all, Ran, and I expected the same from you. Was that so much to ask?

From the moment that song was sung, all the other details of today's wedding was almost EXACTLY how I pictured August 3, 2002, should've looked like. It took all of my energy and effort to force myself not to breakdown and cry. The songs that were played throughout the night could've been handpicked from your personal playlists...it was eerie how you were in each and every song. The song from the 1st dance was the one that goes, "I will stand before God, give Him all that I've got, I will promise you, I"ll be true..." You know the one I'm talking about, too.

Just when I thought that I was cool with weddings, today happened. You were constantly in my thoughts...and I reflected on how much I really had planned forever with you.

But things didn't work out that way, huh?

Ran, the road we've traveled has been bumpy and full of obstacles...and I've hit a major road block that only YOU can take away. You KNOW that we only have until AUGUST 22, 2007, to retrieve any of our belongings back in Minnesota. You KNOW that MY ENTIRE LIFE is out there, waiting to be boxed and brought back home. You KNOW that aside from my clothes and my car, I've got jack shit here. And I KNOW that you gave me your word that you would ship our stuff back to California.

I've tried to get a hold of you, but yet another road block has surfaced. Your cell phone has been disconnected. You have no forwarding address and as far as I know, no new work phone. I have emailed you numerous times because Ran, I cannot stress how much getting back my stuff means to me. You KNOW how much my books mean to me and God, my picture albums are downright irreplaceable.

I know that we are not on good terms, Ran, but I'm asking you to do me this ONE thing. SEND ME THE KEYS.

For anyone else who knows of Ran's whereabouts or who has any contact with him, pass this message along to him. I know there are a few of you who read my blog...he just needs to do the right thing. Time is seriously of the essence...time is running out and I've no words to describe how I'd feel if I don't even try and see my house one last time. I have the right to my things and to my house...but again, the right has been taken away from me.

Ran, do me this one thing. If it means anything to you, know that I continue to pray for you. And as cliche as this may sound, if you ever loved RanMy, if you cared for me at all, you would do this for me. August 22 is just around the corner...

~41

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Mommy Hernandez and I went to the midnight release of the much awaited Book 7 at Barnes and Noble this morning. First off, I have to say that the entire process of getting people lined up, etc, was awfully disorganized. Yesterday at 6pm, we were in line to get our Gold bracelets which would guarantee our space in line. We waited a little bit more than an hour just for the bracelet. Each bracelet was assigned a letter group. I'd say that we were in the early 20s in line and our bracelets were in the A-group. Cool!

We met up again around 10:30pm so that we could partake in some of the activities. Both of us got lightning tattoos on our forehead...something that I was excited to get at the time, but then totally regretted it afterward. Why? I thought of all my students who'd come to school with these tattoos and I could hear them saying, "I tried to scrub it, but it just won't come off!" Now if it was school time, I wouldn't have any worries about the tattoo...heck, my kids would probably think I was the cool teacher with the lightning bolt! BUT...seeing that school is not in session, I was thinking how ridiculous I'd be walking around with this yellow lightning bolt at, for example, church on Sunday. Lol! But I did get another one of the inside of my forearm...a cool "7."




Some of the other activities that they had included face painting, Sorting Hat (which Hogwarts house you'd be assigned to), a scavenger hunt, photo shoot, and my fave, fortune telling. Mommy Hernandez stood in line with me, but said that because she is very Hermione-esque, aka, not sold on divination, she passed.

We had our very own Professor Trelawny!



My fortune was quite interesting! She told me to place both my hands on the deck of cards and focus all of my energies to it. She told me to see a picture of a moon in my mind (I thought of the full moon at Stinson...) and as I released the image, I was to cut the deck into three. The following cards appeared:

The Child
Innocence
Wedding

Okay, when the "Wedding" card was turned over, I literally chuckled. Trelawny looked at me puzzled and I had to comment that I just got divorced! Here's what she continued to say....

CHILD CARD- I like to be around children, children like to be around me. I feel good when I’m around kids. “You care deeply about children and they readily respond to your love. All children, including your own inner child, require love, affection, and attention. We can clear and open your heart and schedule so that you can give more time and energy to the children who need you.” (I took a picture of this card only...I should've recorded what she said, dammit!)

*Okay...coincidence that I'm a teacher??? I've always thought I had a knack with getting along with kids...maybe 'cuz I'm a big kid myself....

INNOCENCE CARD- I have an anger and bitterness inside that is hindering me..and in order to get back that innocence, I have to let the anger go.

*Interesting about the letting go of anger and bitterness thing...

WEDDING CARD- this doesn’t necessarily have to mean a wedding is in the works. It could mean that there is someone who I am committed to and that I care deeply about, someone who is dear to me. This is the same person who will have a role in helping me get past of said anger and bitterness and move on.

*Hmmm...interesting...that's all I gotta say about that...

Not to say that I heavily rely on what Tarot cards say...but just like horoscopes, I get easily amazed at how eerily close it gets to how my day is or what my situation is like. Very interesting...

With time inching its way towards midnight, there was a lil' countdown..."10!...9!...8!..."....quite lame if you ask me. I think the entire thing could've been better planned. Oh well! But hey...standing in line for bracelets paid off because Mommy Hernandez and I were outta Barnes by 12:15am...how dope is that?!

I'm off to read...leave me alone! Lol!



See Mommy H? I didn't post our pics of us with the Harry Potter glasses and lightning bolt tatts! Lol...I'll save us some dignity...THANKS for hanging out and doing the midnight release thang...I had fun! Hugs to you always...

Yup...Oakland Felt It

4.2 Earthquake

Did You Feel It???

At approximately 4:42am this morning, an earthquake with a magnitude of 4.2 rocked the Bay.

And I know this because I've been up on a coffee high unable to sleep and felt it myself. (damn those small cups at IHOP...makes you want to keep refilling...)

Because I wanted to make sure that what I felt was, indeed, an earthquake, I quickly went online. I checked out the USGS site and within a few minutes, there it was. As I scanned the info on the magnitude and epicenter, etc, I noticed a "Did You Feel It?" link. It basically asks your location by zip code, what you observed, was there any damage, and so on...after I clicked to submit my info, it lists other responses. There were 1,318! Holy smokes! These reports hailed from all over the Bay Area...and as I write this, it's now jumped to 2,293! Wowzers...that many people were up?

I'll tell you one thing. Last night, I had this inkling of a feeling that an earthquake would hit.

Although the earthquake itself was over within a second or two, it didn't stop my heart from beginning to race. I didn't even have time to react! You tend to HEAR an earthquake before it happens and when I heard it, my stomach tightened up really quick. Even though I continued to sit in my computer chair, my body tensed and I braced myself for more. A huge part of me dreaded its continuation, but thankfully, it didn't. I know that my eyes darted to shoes 'cuz if it called for it, I'd have them on in a flash. That stems from the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake...I was really paranoid with all of the aftershocks that I kept my shoes at the foot of my bed. If I had to quickly get out of the house for whatever reason, at least I'd have some shoes on.

It's funny because when I first moved to Minnesota and experienced the tornado siren warnings, I always spouted that I'd rather go through an earthquake vs a tornado any day. I still stick to that. But I honestly think that whenever an earthquake hits, just like this morning, my heart will race as it did in 1989. In fact, the tightness in my stomach is still there! Even though it's over, there's a jumpiness that remains. It'll eventually go away...but still.

Then of course, y'know what we'll see in the news today...that is, if it makes it in at all? It'll be all over the "we're due for a big one!" story. Happens all the time...

If IT happens, it happens. I'd like to think that we are all better prepared in one way or another. Will it be scary? Probably. Will MnM freak out? Hopefully not...I'd like to think I'd keep my cool.

But geez...can it at least wait until AFTER the midnight release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows???

New Experiences

As I venture forth into this new phase of my life, I am opening myself up to new experiences...moreso than before and with more intensity and purpose. I'm more determined to "try things at least once"...simply because I can. Through the years, I do feel that I've stayed true to that- whether it pertained to food, music, clothes, and such, but more recently, I've opened myself to experiencing new things and meeting new people.

This past Saturday, I went hiking. Hiking! Now, if ya'll know me, you know that MnM is so NOT the outdoorsy type. I'm not one to lace up my shoes and walk over loose-rock terrain, up, down, and around a freakin' mountain trail for two hours. I've never had the desire to sweat it out with the hot sun beating down on me...not to mention knowing about the countless number of creepy crawly bugs and God knows what else that may be lurking among the brush. But hey, it's something that I've never done before. The weather across the bridge has almost always been so much nicer...plus, I kept hearing the "don't knock it 'til you try it" mantra that I, myself, am always spouting out. I figured that all I had to do was focus- stay on the trail, try not to bust my ass, don't look over the steep edge, and pray that no mountain lions or rattlesnakes decide to grace us with its presence. Other than that, I should be good.

Across the Golden Gate Bridge and heading up towards Mt. Tamalpais is Muir Beach. From what BruthaMan has told me, he's actually run this coastal trail and this very trail is used for certain marathons. Let me just say for the record that the trail that I hiked took me approximately an hour and a half...one way, mind you...probably way too much time for the avid hiker. But seeing that this was my first time, I was in major need to stop every so often to catch my breath and to drink some water. And oh yes, to take some pictures of the breathtaking scenery! Here are some pics from the day...


The view from the top of Muir Beach...this was basically the starting point of our hike.



Just one of the many trails that I walked. Many were this wide (enough for two people to walk side by side), but there were parts where the path narrowed and I did my best to walk as far from the edge as possible.



After about an hour and a half, we ended up at Tennessee Valley Beach which included a nervous trek down a very rocky steep grade. Once at the bottom, you're greeted by a beach area strewn with seaweed (inhale it!), huge boulders, and ultimately, a place to rest and relax.



Just past those fallen branches, it's a steep hike up the rocks and boulders.


Here's a map of the trail. Notice the "You Are Here" dot location and to where we ended. Can I just say that I'm DAMN PROUD for making my way to and from, up and down, all around, and back...and yes, all in one piece!



Ultimately, I honestly didn't think that I had it in me. MnM has been out of shape for way too long, but I am in the process of changing that. During the trek, I could feel all sorts of muscles in my legs working, but at the end of the day, the soreness that I felt was a good sore. I'm actually looking forward to doing this again...now that I know that I can somewhat handle it, I know what to expect.

'Twas a very good day...

Girls' Night Out

Friday was a night of dinner, drinks, and hella laughs with my girls. Mrs. Voodoo, the Weekender, and MightyMom Keyopes came out to celebrate the first (of many!) celebration freedom parties for me. We started the evening eating at Lingba Lounge out in Portrero Hill, headed to Mercury on Lombard, and ended up at Laslow's in the Mission. Talk about a night on the town! Lol...okay, for me, at least. I swear, maybe it's the fact that I just don't get out of the house often, but man, da city is definitely kickin' at night! But of course, I shouldn't expect anything less considering that the Weekender and Mrs. Voodoo are THE resident foodies and nightlife experts. Hah...plus, they're the ones who confidently know their way around da city!

The night was filled with hilarious trips down memory lane, delicious food, potent drinks, and excellent company. It's not too often that us girls get together and it's something that I've definitely missed. In any case, I feel that I can't even repeat some of the stuff that we talked about because well, shoot, I just can't. All I know is that "Foreverrrrrrr" is something I won't be able to live down for a while...LOL! (me and my big mouth!)

Thanks again to the best girlfriends I can have...

btw: I was just playing around with Slide.com and uploaded some pics of our lil' outing. I'm sure ya'll know of this site already, but if you don't, check it out. All you have to do is upload, choose your options of how you want the pics to be shown, and voila! Instant slideshow!

Let Freedom Ring!

As America celebrated her 231st birthday, I celebrated my own Independence Day of sorts. On July 3rd, I signed off on my divorce papers! All I gotta say is that it's been a long time coming! I received the papers on the 2nd and the following day was spent running around trying to get everything notarized and official. Talk about almost going ballistic, but I had originally gone to a UPS store and the lady would NOT sign off on it because my name on the documents was a tad different from what my driver's license said. I did the whole, "Are you freakin' kidding me?!" I mean, this entire process of reaching the big D has been obstacle after obstacle...really, how difficult is it to get divorced?! Apparently, very. I went back to another place and the deed was done.

Wow.

I headed out to Ocean Beach as I always do...and it hit me. Hard.

There was the overwhelming sadness that hit me like a ton of bricks. It's as if I couldn't breathe because the tightness in my chest was so heavy. This is something that I've been waiting for what seems like ages, but now that the moment was here...I almost didn't know what to do with myself. I reflected on the SEVEN years that passed and I know, without a doubt, that I am a changed person because of everything that has happened. I am stronger because of it...and for all of the bull, for all of the tears, and for all of the drama, I am truly thankful.

There is still a lot of bitterness and resentment, but I pray that I am released from the burden. I don't want to have to carry any grudges or any kind of negativity, but it's funny because as I say that, I think back to my aunt's wedding this past weekend and how bitter and sarcastic I felt walking around the Palace of Fine Arts. I'm trying to let it go.

After I let it out, I dried the tears and I stepped out of my car. The wind was blowing a slight breeze, the sun was shining, and birds were flying overhead. To anyone else, it was a perfect day in da city. There have been many times when I've stood out on the beach and when the wind blew past, I felt as if God was talking to me in a whisper. I really can't quite find the words to describe it, but without words, I completely understand what He's saying. In that moment, there was this unbelievable calmness that passed through my entire body.

It's as if God was telling me, "See baby girl, I knew you'd get past this...because you are strong. I gave all of this for a reason to mold you into the person who you are today. I am preparing you for bigger and better things."

The tears that filled my eyes at that moment weren't tears of sadness, but of relief and thankfulness...because I know that I WILL be okay. These past seven years have been an emotional rollercoaster and there were many times when I questioned whether or not I was going crazy. I went through some major self-esteem issues and I truly hated the person that I became. Plus, I wasn't sure if I could handle having a failed marriage on my hands. I've said this time and time again that all things happen for a reason. When I exchanged my wedding vows, I wanted FOREVER. As it should be, right? I always pictured myself saying "I Do" once in my life and that would be it. But y'know what I learned in all of that? I was reminded that with God, I should expect the unexpected. God surely does work in mysterious ways...if God brings it to you, He will bring you through it.

I stood there looking out towards the waves...and I knew that this was the moment. As much and as long that he was a part of my life....as hard as I tried to get past the drama and the lies....and much effort that I feel that I put into the marriage to make it work...and as much as I truly loved him with all that I had....I let him go.

I let you go...so that I can move on with my life.

And now that the papers have been signed, notarized, and delivered, the freedom parties have begun! Tonight, my best girlfriends are taking me out....where? I don't know. I'm scared- lol! It's time to let go......so thanks (in advance!) to Mrs.Voodoo, the Weekender, and Mighy Mom Keyopes for tonight!

Potter Mania Begins...

I'll be watching the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (book 5) tonight. According to young buck movie theater ticket seller guy...it's good. I'm so excited!

7.07.07

D-DAY arrived...and well, let's just say that 'twas a day that I couldn't wait to be over. Isn't it Murphy's Law that says that if something's going to go wrong, it will? Well, it did! Now albeit, many guests, bride and groom included, may not have known all about the chaotic moments that us cousins had to endure, let me set the record straight and say that we did our damndest to make things run as smoothly as possible with the time and resources that we had. We made do with what we had...and that's not saying much.

The craziness began the day before, Friday, as Ate and I hustled about to look for a rehearsal dinner venue. We called restaurant after restaurant searching for one that would be able to accomodate approximately 30-35 people keeping a budget in mind. Well, considering that we were trying to make reservations for that very night, our options were very limited. After that was taken care of, I had to quickly pack and head over to Hotel Adagio to check in. It was about 3:45pm when I did, but I literally only had time to drop off my bags because I had to head over to the Palace of Fine Arts for the rehearsal at 4pm. Hotel Adagio, by the way, has some really great staff- totally friendly and helpful- but the pictures of the rooms look better online than they do in person. Nice rooms, but small. I'll tell you about the cute porter named Justin in a bit...

The Bay Area had been forecasted for a round of heatwaves this entire week. Unfortunately, it's been hot and sunny everywhere EXCEPT da city. If you travel 15 minutes in any direction AWAY from Ocean Beach, you could sit in the warm sun and even work on a tan. But along the coast? Forget it...'twas fog, fog, and more fog.




Being at the Palace of Fine Arts (again) gave me so many mixed emotions. First of all, one can't help but be taken by its architectural beauty. Simply put, it makes for some really great photographs. There really is something about tall, long columns...the entire structure is so majestic and elegant. On the other hand, I've had this emotional attachment to the Palace because it's the very place where I exchanged my own wedding vows back in 2002. How ironic that I was here for a wedding when mine has just ended! All personal drama aside, we took care of business that day, but still...I can't say that it was the easiest thing in the world to revisit that lil' corner of the Palace...




Hotel Adagio is a boutique hotel on Geary. As nice as it is inside, across the street are a couple of bars where drunken fools continued to stumble out at all hours of the night. And yes, we were up! In my room, I had the cousins: TripleD, BebeBallerina Girl and hubby, and Isa. By the time we all settled in, it was already 3:30am...TripleD, BBG's hubby, and I were fighting to stay awake. We were so tempted to order a pizza, but by 5am, we were all out...only to wake up at 6am! I thought it was the funniest thing, but we had all set our cell phones as our alarm clocks...at 6am, they all went off and it was so obnoxiously loud that it was seriously laugh-out-loud hilarious when all these tired voices shouted, "Turn it off!" "Omigod, that's hella loud!" "Sorry, that's mine!" LOL!

The Boys got ready first because they had to head over to the Palace and meet the vendors. Us Girls got made up, but before heading out, we went up to the bride's suite. As expected, there were a lot of things that needed to be done and it just so happened that BebeBallerina Girl and I were the available bodies around to do the running around. Now perhaps it was because it was early in the morning...it could've been the heels that we were wearing...it could've been the fact that we didn't have our Starbucks considering we all had but a few hours of sleep...or it really could've been the fact that we were sent up and down that freakin' elevator way too many times that did it...but yah...we were NOT happy campers that morning. In fact, we were two unhappy C-R-A-N-K-Y campers. Lol...yes, I laugh about it now, but then? Shit.

Let me backtrack to the Hotel Adagio staff for a sec...so after all the running around, all the rides up and down that elevator, we were finally on our way. First stop, Starbucks! But wait, we get a call from the suite and turns out that in the process of running errands, we forgot to return a room key. Okay, I said that we'd run in and drop it at the front desk, but that was a no go because no one was free to go down. WTF? Well, since I was driving and poor Isa and Bina were pinned by everything else, BebeBallerina Girl had to do it. Not happy...but as quickly as she went back in, she was out in a few seconds. Huh? Well, turns out that the cute porter guy Justin who helped us load my car saw her run in, asked her if she forgot something, and offered to run the key back up to the suite for her! Sweet, right? Well, after that, the Girls voted and decided that we'd get cute porter guy Justin a coffee from Starbucks- "...a hot coffee for a hot guy..." Lol!

That would probably be our highlight of the entire morning. From there, things went wrong left and right, but I won't go into it. It's almost too hard to write about it as I don't want to re-live it just yet. Didn't help that my Starbucks spilled and I didn't even get to enjoy it...

But the couple made it down the aisle, albeit 35 minutes late, and my aunt truly made a beautiful bride. I think the ceremony could've done without all the damn tourists. Yes, it's a public place, but who says it's okay that complete strangers can sit among the guests and be part of the congregation? Then there were those snapping pics...again, fine, take pics of the wedding, but do you really have to get THAT CLOSE...hell, even the official photographer wasn't that close! Some people have no shame, I swear...




After the ceremony, us cousins were off to the Golden Gate Yacht Club, which is right across the way from the Palace. Nevermind that MnM took a wrong turn and ended up going back towards 19th Ave, and yes, cursing the entire way back...lol. Again, Murphy's Law must be applied here, and let's just say that my stress levels skyrocketed in about five seconds flat. The setting was nice and as the guests arrived, they were greeted by some Caribbean steel drummers. After all the guests were signed in and seated, us cousins HAD to sit at the bar...it was VERY necessary.




After a few drinks, we were all able to finally relax and enjoy the rest of the reception. Kinda funny because I downed my first drink way too fast...and I felt the buzz pretty quick. To give you an idea of how stressed us cousins were, even my Ate and BruthaMan had a couple of drinks...and THAT rarely happens! It's safe to say that I'll never blog about what happened behind the scenes, but what it comes down to is that we did and would do it again for family...anything for family.

*Wishing the newly married couple all of the happiness in the world...I hope that you had the wedding of your dreams...


Hands down, one of my favorite pictures of the day! This is what I'll remember...this is us getting our drank on after doing our reception duties..."anything for family...anything for family..."



Birthday Shout-Out

I recently hung out with Mommy Hernandez briefly last week because at the Borders at Stonestown, there was a live recording of a Harry Potter Podcast! It was neat to check out the podcast hosted by The Leaky Cauldron...although I have yet to listen to any Potter podcasts, the excitement of not only the movie, but the final installment of the Harry Potter book series is due out this month. Exciting, yet sad at the same time...almost the same feeling I had when Lord of the Rings: Return of the King came out and the trilogy was over. In any case, Mommy Hernandez and I will be at the midnight release of Book 7 along with the other Harry Potter fans.

Just wanted to send Mommy Hernandez a whole bunch of love and hugs on her 33rd birthday! Hope you had a fabulous day...many blessings to you always!

Happy Birthday America!

Wishing you all a Happy July 4th...whatever ya'll do, be safe!



pic taken from Google images


Wedding Countdown

3 more days...

Kuya D

Kuya D's flight wasn't until 3pm-ish so we still had time to do some last minute pashal-pashal. One of the must-dos on his agenda included going to Jollibee...hahah, that's right, Jollibee's! They don't have any of those in New York and he wanted some sweet spaghetti for the plane ride back.

Prior to that, I took him to Ocean Beach. It's not the most picturesque beach in the Bay, but hey, all he wanted to do was see the Pacific. Sounds weird to hear that because that's all I've ever seen, but when I go to New York (and I WILL be going...), I would definitely want to see the Atlantic...hands down. San Francisco being San Francisco, it was a foggy morning. Fortunately, it wasn't terribly cold. Kuya D had not been schooled on how to dress in the Bay, but in case he's back for another conference, he now knows: layer, layer, layer. We took a couple pics with the ocean in the background and he did take some of the fog. Again, something I'm so used to seeing, but not for him. I then took him into Golden Gate Park. I told him about the hidden waterfalls and the famous buffalo of the city. Yes people...buffalo. I took him around Stowe Lake, told him the legend (as I've always heard it), parked, and walked to the waterfalls. Ahhhh....to look at the green water. LOL!




I pointed out the DeYoung Museum and the lil' amphitheater area...then, I took a wrong turn! Again, MnM not being the nifty navigator basically gave up and admitted that I didn't know where the heck the buffalo was when all of a sudden, there they were! Hah..I found them by accident...and yes, Kuya D was wowed. This was the most I've seen- there were about 7-8 of 'em. Stopped and did the Kodak moment thing and moved on.

Anyways, I dropped him off at SFO, but not even 20 minutes later, he called and asked what I was doing. Omg, I thought, did he forget something in my car? Did I have to go back? Turns out that the airlines was offering passengers $500 to give up their seats for a later flight. Because of the recent storms in the East, we had joked that if his flight was cancelled, I'd take him to Alcatraz. Well, it just so happened that I was on my way to hang out with Sha, but then I said, wait a sec, how often do I get to hang out with an out-of-state cousin? Well, it went back and forth for a bit, but Kuya D called and with a totally bummed voice told me that they didn't need anyone to give up their seat. Oh well...it would've been cool to hang out longer, but off he went.

The night before, we did have dinner at my sister's house...invited a couple of other cousins to see Kuya D as well. As always, get a few of us together and well, it's all laughs. I would've loved to have known what went through his mind about us California cousins...lol. Here's a couple of pics from that night.


Kuya D and us California cousins...nice picture.


Kuya D and us California cousins...crazy picture. Notice Kuya D is the only normal one in the pic! What's up with that, New York?! Lol!



-----------

We did get to visit my Lolo...his Lolo was the brother, but now, mine is the only surviving sibling. Speaking of my Lolo, he's 92 years old. He was recently in the hospital due to some complications from a slight case of pneumonia and because of his age, there's really nothing they can do for him. Fortunately, the antibiotics did the trick, but basically the doctors said that it's just better that he didn't get sick anymore. When he was released from the hospital, I picked him up and when I asked him how he was feeling, his response?

"Oh well, y'know I'm old. After the wedding, I'm going back to the Philippines for the last time."

He basically has the mindset that he's done. I looked at my mom who was sitting in the backseat and she didn't look bothered by his comment. I asked her about it later and she said, "Y'know, he's been feeling like he's going to die for the past 10 years!" It's kinda funny, but at the same time, when you do see a loved one in a hospital all hooked up to an IV and various machines, it never fails to see them in a different light. I totally love my Lolo and would really miss him when it's time for him to go home, but I think at his age, 92, he's lived quite a life.


Here's my lola and lolo...along with the bride-to-be and fiance.



Countdown Central

Wedding: July 7 (4 more days)

Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix: July 11 (8 more days)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7): July 21 (18 more days)

Old Addition

Can you tell that MnM has a lot of time on her hands??? Hah, I swear, this has got to be the most I've blogged in a long time...'tis nice to be back in blogworld...gives me something to do.

In any case, I've re-added the GuestMap which you'll see represented by a globe on the right-hand side. Click it and pin your location! I was just reading J and Rho's blogs and thought I'd bite off them. =) Thanks guys!

Indulge me, people!

Wedding Update

Just got an email from the bride & groom and turns out that they are requesting attending guests to incorporate their color scheme (brown, mango, cream) into our attire. I guess my black and white dress won't do...back to the mall I go!

5 more days...

The Other MnM Blog

I actually forgot it. Perhaps I blocked it from my memory, but early last year, I created a blog especially for my family and friends to let them know how I was faring since my decision to drop the news of the big D. I only wrote in it for about a month...and if I recall, I basically fell into a major state of depression and withdrew from blogging at all for a while. I reread all of my entries and suprisingly, I didn't burst out crying. There was this sadness inside, a certain sadness that I'm beginning to believe may never completely disappear. It's always difficult to read about that time in my life where all I felt was confusion and despair. But as I kept reading, this feeling of relief radiated through, and I know now that it's because I really am on the road to moving forward.

In any case, I do plan on reposting that month of posts as my way of "exhaling," but this particular one especially resonated and I felt compelled to share it. It's nothing sad...just thoughts on one of my favorite books of all-time and how I felt it related to me at the time.

January 29, 2006

Great Expectations

The days and nights have been long. I have been frantically reading book after book to keep me busy...and although reading has provided me with an outlet to escape my own reality, the books I am currently reading speak to me in more ways than one.

I just finished The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho...and I relished each and every page. I have been hearing so much about how this book has changed so many people's outlook on life that I had to give in to curiousity. When I first got the book at Borders, I was somewhat disappointed to see how thin it was. Just how I enjoy watching three plus hour movies, I totally love reading thick books. And wouldn't you know it, the closer I got to the end, I was dreading the last page. It was so intensely good that I didn't want it to be done.

What about this book has changed people's lives? It talks of Personal Legends, the Soul of the World, the Soul of the Universe, and the Universal Language. Without going into so much detail as to ruin it for those who have not read this awesome book, a Personal Legend is basically what each person wants to accomplish- it could be acquiring a treasure, accomplishing a goal, and/or living out one's purpose in life. It is unique to us alone. "To realize one's Personal Legend is a person's only real obligation." Ponder on that for a bit. While it does not outrightly speak of a God in terms of one's Personal Legend, as I was reading this, the only interpretation that I could think of WAS God. I believe that each one of us was created with a purpose and while we may not know or understand what it is right now, realizing what that purpose is our only obligation. The book also discusses that when we really want something bad, when we truly desire something, "all of the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." I had to read that sentence over a couple of times to let it sink in. I had to read it over because I had just read something very similar in another completely different book.

The other book that I am currently reading is Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Right Now. Just a quick recap of how I came to know about this book, I had been talking to a co-worker of mine a few months ago. She was asking me what my plans were once my temporary position was up and I honestly told her that I wasn't sure where my life was headed. I was unsure if I should stay in the teaching field or if I should rethink a brand new career. She went on to tell me what a talented teacher she thought I was and that if I just put my mind to whatever it was I wanted to do, I could do it. She continued by telling me what qualities she saw in me and perhaps it was because I had been having an already crappy day with the kiddies, what she said really touched me. She then recommended that I read Your Best Life Right Now. I wrote the title and author down on a post-it, stuck it inside my lesson plan book, and somehow forgot about it for a bit. Once the teaching gig was over, I was preparing papers and lessons to hand over to the incoming teacher when I came across the post-it. I took the post-it out and made a mental note that I should really pick the book up. That very same day, I got a call from Mrs. G that she was coming over to drop off a belated Christmas gift. Lo and behold, the gift she gave me was the book! Now if that isn't God working in mysterious ways, then I don't know anything!

In any case, in the book, it talks about enlarging our vision of our life...that we should not be satisfied with little improvement, and that we should strive for MORE. More of ourselves and MORE from God. When I mentioned that what I read in The Alchemist was similar to what I read in Your Best Life Right Now, I meant that the message that it was trying to relay was all connected. It was saying that if I want to live my best life right, I had to DO something about it. If I am to live my best life right now, I shouldn't be satisfied with little improvement when I know things could be much better. It says that I have my personal legend, my unique purpose, and that my goal is to find out what that is, but that cannot be done if I do not enlarge my vision to the life that I should be having.

In terms of how all of what I am reading directly relates to my life right now, I am amazed. Shocked. Surprised. Wowed. You name it. It's as if these books are talking to me. Or, as I would also like to say, it's as if God is speaking to me through these books. I do believe that God wants my life to be better than what it currently is. I don't have regrets of what has happened because I believe that everything happens for a reason.

There was a reason why we meet certain people in our lives...a reason why I chose to marry...a reason why he had to lie and deceive me like he did...a reason for me to find out the way I did...a reason for me to have moved away from my family...and a reason for me to move back.

In all things, there should no longer be regret. Everything happens for a reason and because they did, I have become a stronger person, a stronger woman because of it.Now that I am choosing to change my life for the better, to live "my best life right now," I have to believe...to have faith...that the universe will conspire to help me achieve it.

MnMz Weekend

As a San Francisco native, it always blows my mind to see different parts of the Bay Area that I've never or rarely seen. I'm literally a tourist in my own city...how funny is that? I know quite a few people who can attest to the fact that I don't have a clue in navigating my way around da city. MapQuest is my friend. To speak in my own defense, I've never really had any reason to venture outside of my lil' neighborhood. Okay, during college was the time to explore and such, but egads, let me be honest and admit here that I've never really been keen on directions. Just tell me where to go.

This weekend, I was able to see sunsets and moonrises in two completely opposite places and yet, each place was just as beautiful. On Friday, I ventured across the Golden Gate Bridge (toll is $5.00!) and did the drive along the winding road leading to Mt. Tamalpais. The change of weather is so dramatic as you cross the bridge...it went from being totally engulfed in fog to none at all. As nerveracking as that drive is, the clear evening skies with the stars overhead is reward enough. If case you haven't had the chance this weekend, check out the full moon...simply awesome. In fact, the moon provided just the right amount of light to find a nice spot on Stinson Beach. As I sat there, all I could do was just close my eyes and let the crashing waves hypnotize me. It was so calming. If it wasn't for the dropping temperatures, I could've stayed all night. With the light of the full moon settling on the water, the view was overwhelmingly breathtaking. One can't help but take a moment to thank God for His wonderful creations...such awesome beauty by the Creator's hand...

Even though it was nighttime, you can tell just by walking on the beach how clean and fine the sand was...compared to Ocean Beach sand, I might even think about walking barefoot here! Ocean Beach...aw hell no! You just never know what you're stepping on, y'know?

Took this pic while crossing the Golden Gate Bridge. I love how you can see both lanes of traffic. Plus, the silhouette of the tower looming ahead against the backdrop of the sunset is always a sight to behold.

A tad blurry, but gives you an idea of how bright the moon was and how it just lights up the water.


Saturday found me taking a drive on Highway 1 towards Half Moon Bay. Totally not planned, but well worth it. Ended up at Pigeon Point Lighthouse. I know that there's a bunch along Highway 1, but it's the first that you hit. (Neat factoid for you: this lighthouse is one of the most photographed lighthouses in the world.)



There were quite a lot of people who were in the area to watch the sunset. I took multiple shots as the sun went down...and it was just neat to see how it slowly, but surely dipped into the horizon until it finally disappeared. Reminds me of this commerical on TV back in the day. I can't even recall what it was for, but it was of a father and a small child watching the sun go down. The dad is leaning over to the child saying, "Going...going...going...gone!" And the little kid looks up to the dad and says, "Do it again, Daddy!" Awwww...melts my heart!

Going...

...Going...

...gone (almost, at least...)


As I made my way back to my car, I had to walk along the dirt shoulder of the road because there was this long entourage of cars making their way to the exit. I didn't realize how long the line of cars were, but what was so cool to see was that it was an entourage of PT Cruisers! Each PT Cruiser that passed had personalized plates - "LUVMYPT", "PTCRUZR", "PRTTYPT"- to name a few. If I had to guess, I'd say there were about 15-20 of 'em...they just kept coming! And what made me chuckle was the fact that ALL the drivers seemed were white! I don't know...I guess stereotypically speaking, I was half-expecting all the drivers to be of Latino descent...you had to see them and I so wish I took a picture. A few of them even had the flames on the sides...talk about a missed Kodak moment!
A few more...

I love silhouette pics.

Pigeon Point Lighthouse from the back.


Birthday Shout-Out

Just wanted to wish Josemryosp, aka Mr. Outback Proprietor, a very Happy 34th Birthday! Hope you have a wonderfully wonderful day...love and blessings to you always!