I hate having to justify that I AM alive and kicking....for those who were wondering, that is...To be quite honest, there's just been so many things that have happened in such a short period of time that I haven't the energy to write. Of course there's no rule in blogging that one has to write about every single event that transpires, but in my case, there's quite a few events that I would like to share...even though it may seem like old news. So I dub the following posts "playing catch-up with MnM" - read on to see what I've been up to the past couple of weeks.
Life and Death
June 29, 2006
Saying goodbye is never an easy task, but the grief felt by those left behind is always the burden to bear. Yesterday, my mom's first cousin was buried and today, BruthaMan's uncle. In the funeral mass that I attended today, something that the priest said resonated with me. He basically talked about the three stages of LIFE and how it is perceived by different people. For some, it begins with birth.......life......and ends with death. Some believe that at one's death, that's it. End of story. But for Christians, it's NOT the end of the story. For Christians, life begins with birth....death....and ends with resurrection. While some believe that death is the last chapter of life, it really is only the middle of the story- it's when the plot gets interesting and when the rest of the story will reveal itself. While grieving is natural and difficult to deal with, the silver lining is that we will see our loved ones who have passed in heaven again one day.
I was having the most interesting conversation with my niece and nephew on the subject of heaven. While they are still young and may not completely understand the concept of death and resurrection, they do know that they will no longer be seeing their Grandpa Bob for a while. Nico had tons of questions about the how's and why's of being buried in the ground and/or in the wall (mausoleum) while Sabrina inquired about heaven itself. Having read "The Five People You Meet In Heaven" and other children stories on death, I tried to describe my picture of what heaven looked like.
In MY heaven, I imagine a tropical paradise lined with lush green palm trees. There would be THE bookstore of all bookstores with shelves lined with everything I have read, wanted to read, and will be able to read for eternity. There will be a Baskin Robbins that would serve more than 31 flavors of ice cream that will NOT hurt my stomach...yes, in other words, being lactose-intolerant would NOT exist in my heaven. Lol! With this being an example, I told Nico that in HIS heaven, there would probably be the biggest and grandest AUTOPIA ever....yes, as in Disneyland. Sabrina’s version of heaven would include the hugest slide that would take days to enjoy going down. Basically, everyone's heaven, while still being in the presence of the big guy in charge, would be exactly how they would want it- it would include and encompass anything and everything they love and desire.
This reminded me of a mini-sermon the head pastor at my school shared with students during chapel time. He put forth the question the difference between heaven and hell. He told us to imagine a large room that held a huge bowl of delicious soup that encompasses the entirety of the room. Encircled around the bowl were people with spoons that were just as big, long, and wide as the bowl itself. When it came time to eat, each person around the bowl would pick up their spoon, fill it with the delicious soup, but as they attempted to bring it to their mouths, the ends of the spoon would hit the wall behind them forcing the soup to spill. The size of the room would not allow enough space for them to fill their spoons and feed themselves. This room is a picture of what hell would look like. Now imagine another room the exact same size as the first, with the exact same bowl of soup, with the same exact sized spoons for the people surrounding the bowl. When it was time to eat, instead of filling the spoon's contents to feed themselves, each person would fill their spoon and extend it to the person across from them. This is what heaven would look like.
Such a simple, yet powerful image.
Remembering Fallen Soldiers
In two days, I have been to two funerals.
Both of the uncles that passed away both served in the military. Both had a military ceremony. Not meaning to show any disrespect or dishonor in any way, but I was feeling somewhat guilty for feeling sadder for the loss of the uncle who wasn’t even blood related than for the one that was.
*I only saw Tito Nato once a year. My main memory of him is from the annual family reunion picnics that we would have….wearing his yellow shirt….holding his big ole’ video camera. He was never without that video camera and thank goodness because he has captured many memorable moments. One in particular that will forever be imprinted in my mind is of the Tug-of-War competition during a family picnic. Keeping in mind that “special effects” back in the day was not as advanced as it is today, putting things in slow motion was considered pretty cool…and so was putting clips with music accompaniment. So the clip shows the two groups pulling and tugging away, the camera pans on the faces full of sweat and determination, and the surrounding crowds of people are jumping and cheering…all in slow motion, mind you…and here’s this one lone figure, making her way down the line trying to capture the moment of the game, her camera clicking away….all to the tune of “Chariots of Fire.” That figure? My sister! I can’t even find the right words to describe how hilarious that clip was…and still is.
I was saddened to hear that his health deteriorated quite rapidly as a result of various other illnesses he had. At the vigil the night before his burial, it was apropos that a video was shown in his honor. Although I may not have been close to him, it’s still sad nonetheless to lose a member of the family. Tito Nato was buried at the Golden Gate National Cemetery…surprisingly, not too far from the Lolo whom I visited during Memorial Day.
*I can honestly say that I never really had a sit-down conversation with Uncle Bob. You ever have those relatives or family friends where the conversations consist of “Hi! How are you? Good! Okay, you eat now” and then later with, “Okay bye! Take care!” Whenever I attended a family party, this was what our exchange would be like, and yet, he was always friendly enough to say hello with that big welcoming smile of his that a whole conversation wasn’t really necessary. Considering the fact that I only saw Tito Nato once a year, but saw Uncle Bob more often, it really isn’t surprising that I took Uncle Bob’s passing a little harder. Harder was the fact that he passed the day immediately after Tito Nato.
I think his passing saddens me the most not because of MY relationship with him, but rather his relationship to BruthaMan, my sister, and the family. Of course, there’s also the fact that he, along with the other members of BruthaMan’s family, was so welcoming to my sister, my parents, and myself. Plus, while BruthaMan was growing up, Uncle Bob had lived with them and was a huge part of his life, helping to mold him and his brothers into the men they are today- he was considered like another dad. At times like this, I am troubled as to why our loved ones have to be taken so suddenly, but at the same time, I am grateful that others were able to be graced by their presence during their time here on earth. If one didn’t know Uncle Bob well while he was alive, just as I didn’t, I definitely got to know so much more during the eulogy through the many beautiful and touching things people had to share. He was definitely a great man who will, no doubt, be greatly missed.
If a funeral ceremony could in any way, shape, or form be considered beautiful, then that’s what Uncle Bob’s was. The funeral mass was held in Vallejo and a military ceremony followed. BruthaMan and his older brother, both of them Officers, dressed in their military dress and participated in the ceremony. It was a solemn ceremony that included all branches of the military- the highest honor a soldier could be given. As “Taps” was played and the sounds of the 21-gun salute went off, the tears couldn’t be held in any longer.
21-Gun Salute by the Air Force
Folding of the U.S. flag by the Marines
Army Officer CPT. BruthaMan and MnM
**A sort of six-degrees-of-separation and just overall neat tidbit about BruthaMan's family: he has three aunties around the same age as his bros with whom he grew up with...who all happened to hook up and marry Navy seals....one of whom had a small role in one of the most loved Tom Cruise movies that we all know as "Top Gun!" Remember the scene where Goose dies and Maverick is in the water with him...and there's this guy who jumps from the helicopter and tells Maverick that "You have to let him, Sir, you have to let him go!"....that's HIM! Coincidentally, his brother, also a Navy Seal, did some of the jumps for the other takes...they were mainly the two that did the stunts. Isn't that neat? And yes, BruthaMan can say that it's his cousin! I bring that up because he was at the funeral...and as small of a part that he had, my sister and I were the ones going around, "He was in Top Gun!" We're such dorks...lol!**
