Countdown
8 days left...
So, my auntie's wedding is next Saturday...I swear, where does the time go??? Three months ago, we started from scratch and now, a wedding of her dreams (I hope!) will take place.
My cousin from New York is getting married next September...and the planning has already begun and is in the works. I mean, isn't that how it should be?
I'm just sayin'...
East Coast Cousins
My cousin from New York was in town for a conference. The last time I saw Kuya D was in 1992! 'Twas funny because I was scheduled to pick him up downtown...after I got off the phone with him, I realized that I didn't ask what he was wearing...it's been years since I've seen him and I forgot what he looks like! Plus, I didn't even tell him what kind of car I was driving! Luckily, I noticed this guy standing on the corner with a bunch of luggage and well, I figured that it had to be him. Lol!
In 1992, I was excited to be meeting "the New York cousins." Kuya D, M (the one getting married next year), and a couple of other ones came to the Bay for a visit. Apparently the last time we were together was when we were toddlers! M happens to be the same age as me, but I do remember thinking, dang, this girl is tough 'cuz she's from the Bronx! At the time, I was going through my stupid phase of smoking and well, there was our bond. But honestly, I think there was an instant connection when we all met. After the initial shy hellos, we all just got along great and I remember being sad when they left. We did keep in touch for a bit, but ya'll know how that goes. Somewhere along the way, we lost touch and I'd only hear tidbits of them from whenever my mom would call New York...which wasn't very often.
Well, 15 years later, it's neat to update each other of how our lives have played out thus far. Kuya D was here for a pharmacy conference, M used to work for MTV and is now planning to get married...of course, telling our stories was funny, too...Ate & BruthaMan getting married and having the kiddies, me and my story...lol...that always gets interesting reactions. But really, it's just been lots of laughs the entire time. I was commenting to my sis that Kuya D seemed pretty mellow compared to us. We concluded that maybe it's the whole New York thing...we figured the New York cousins are the top, classy ones...then you got us, the Bay Area cousins who are just plain loud and rowdy. Hey, we can't help it! Lol! But the best thing is that we all mesh really well and in all honesty, it would just be awesome if we could see each other more often than we do.
Anyways, Kuya D flies back to New York today...will post some pics later!
Safe travels to you, Kuya D...and here's hoping that we'll all make a trip to New York sometime soon!
Friday, June 29, 2007
Starting Sunday...FYI
New Driving Fines for 2007
1. Carpool lane - 1st time $1068.50 starting 7/1/07 (The $271 posted on the highway is old). Don't do it again because 2nd time is going to be
double. 3rd time triple, and 4th time license suspended.
2. Incorrect lane change - $380. Don't cross the lane on solid lines or intersections.
3. Block intersection - $485
4. Driving on the shoulder - $450
5. Cell phone use in the construction zone. - Double fine as of 07/01/07.
Cell phone use must be "hands free" while driving.
6. Passengers over 18 not in their seatbelts - both passengers and drivers get tickets.
7. Speeders can only drive 3 miles above the limit.
8. DUI = JAIL (Stays on your driving record for 10 years!)
9. As of 07/01/07 cell phone use must be "hands free" while driving.
Ticket.
New Driving Fines for 2007
1. Carpool lane - 1st time $1068.50 starting 7/1/07 (The $271 posted on the highway is old). Don't do it again because 2nd time is going to be
double. 3rd time triple, and 4th time license suspended.
2. Incorrect lane change - $380. Don't cross the lane on solid lines or intersections.
3. Block intersection - $485
4. Driving on the shoulder - $450
5. Cell phone use in the construction zone. - Double fine as of 07/01/07.
Cell phone use must be "hands free" while driving.
6. Passengers over 18 not in their seatbelts - both passengers and drivers get tickets.
7. Speeders can only drive 3 miles above the limit.
8. DUI = JAIL (Stays on your driving record for 10 years!)
9. As of 07/01/07 cell phone use must be "hands free" while driving.
Ticket.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Weddings and such...
I can't believe that my aunt is getting married in just 12 days! Her wedding is one of three that will be celebrated this year and danggit, know what that means? Shopping! Ugh...this whole shopping for a dress is truly a horrid experience that I am not enjoying at all, but I don't want a replay of last year's weddings where I wore the SAME dress. At least I've got a few weeks in between to find something suitable AND the shoes that I just bought got somewhat broken in at Element. Hahaha..yah...ouch!
As all these marriages get closer, my own is coming to an end. How ironic that I will be attending one of the weddings at the same venue where I, myself, once stood! I can't even call it bittersweet...in fact, I can't quite put my finger on the word that exudes how I truly feel about it. It's almost like a dagger to the heart really. Or how about the whole returning to the scene of the crime? It almost seems cruel to have to be there...for a wedding. Yes, yes, I can hear all of you telling me to "get over it already," but on the real? Easier said than done.
Each time I've attended a wedding, I get that dreaded feeling in the pit of my stomach. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE weddings. I always have! But within the past few years, it just makes me ache all over to the point of nausea. There I am, a guest at the union of two people who are committing their lives to each other...it's a beautiful thing to witness, but at the same time, I am jaded and bitter. A huge part of me wants to be that mad drunk fool making inappropriate comments..."Don't do it!" "It doesn't last forever...I should know!" But the other part of me is overwhelmingly sad...and envious. I am jealous of the love that I see between these two people in love...and I wish I had what they have.
But as the saying goes, there's no point in crying over spilled milk. Ain't nothing can be done about the past. All we can ever do is just move forward. "Moving forward" has been my challenge and struggle for a while now...but I'm getting there.
Now that school is out, I'm a tad nervous. Why? Because school kept me busy all the time. As much as we all crave and wish for more time on our hands, sometimes it can be a bitch.
Rather than let all this free time bring me down, I am determined to make the best of it. I've got things to do, people to see, and books to read. I simply need to re-focus all of the negative energy into something positive. I'm inspired to make this summer the summer of transition. Lol...whatever that means! All I know is change is good...and yes, change is necessary.
I am praying for a huge change to be happening to me soon...keep your fingers crossed.
I can't believe that my aunt is getting married in just 12 days! Her wedding is one of three that will be celebrated this year and danggit, know what that means? Shopping! Ugh...this whole shopping for a dress is truly a horrid experience that I am not enjoying at all, but I don't want a replay of last year's weddings where I wore the SAME dress. At least I've got a few weeks in between to find something suitable AND the shoes that I just bought got somewhat broken in at Element. Hahaha..yah...ouch!
As all these marriages get closer, my own is coming to an end. How ironic that I will be attending one of the weddings at the same venue where I, myself, once stood! I can't even call it bittersweet...in fact, I can't quite put my finger on the word that exudes how I truly feel about it. It's almost like a dagger to the heart really. Or how about the whole returning to the scene of the crime? It almost seems cruel to have to be there...for a wedding. Yes, yes, I can hear all of you telling me to "get over it already," but on the real? Easier said than done.
Each time I've attended a wedding, I get that dreaded feeling in the pit of my stomach. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE weddings. I always have! But within the past few years, it just makes me ache all over to the point of nausea. There I am, a guest at the union of two people who are committing their lives to each other...it's a beautiful thing to witness, but at the same time, I am jaded and bitter. A huge part of me wants to be that mad drunk fool making inappropriate comments..."Don't do it!" "It doesn't last forever...I should know!" But the other part of me is overwhelmingly sad...and envious. I am jealous of the love that I see between these two people in love...and I wish I had what they have.
But as the saying goes, there's no point in crying over spilled milk. Ain't nothing can be done about the past. All we can ever do is just move forward. "Moving forward" has been my challenge and struggle for a while now...but I'm getting there.
Now that school is out, I'm a tad nervous. Why? Because school kept me busy all the time. As much as we all crave and wish for more time on our hands, sometimes it can be a bitch.
Rather than let all this free time bring me down, I am determined to make the best of it. I've got things to do, people to see, and books to read. I simply need to re-focus all of the negative energy into something positive. I'm inspired to make this summer the summer of transition. Lol...whatever that means! All I know is change is good...and yes, change is necessary.
I am praying for a huge change to be happening to me soon...keep your fingers crossed.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Hangin' With the Girls
What a weekend! Hung out with RyceGirlie yesterday for dinner before heading out to Element Lounge in downtown San Francisco for Monkeyballz's farewell bash. Now, 'tis been a while since I've been out and about at a club and honestly, if it wasn't for Monkeyballz leaving the country, I think I would've passed. It wasn't bad at all, but I think I'm over the club scene. Thanks to RyceGirl for coming out for dinner, drinks, and dancing...we made it fun! Okay, okay, sure we had funky, no-rhythm wandering dude roll up every so often...then there's saxophone man messing with everyone's beats (dude, go away!)...then there were the two homies who were getting down with Beyonce's Crazy In Love...but yah, that's when we said we needed some water. LOL! Can't forget small B from the bar...awwwww, he was cute...just small! Aside from the spilled drinks and the go-get-a-room couple, it was cool to bust out our old skool moves...see? We made it fun...so what if we got tired before 1am?!
So I have to admit that since it has been a long time, I've forgotten the names of drinks...c'mon, I didn't want to sound like a total dork ordering this or that at the bar! Yes, I had to ask my girlfriends for recommendations and suggestions as to what to get- I ended up getting an apple martini first, then a cranberry and vodka. Hmm...both tasted a lot like a kool-aid drink (which could be dangerous!), but I was somewhat disappointed to not feel any buzz. Dammit! While it was fun to get out and see Monkeyballz get her groove on (you go girl!), I know for sure that I can't be doing this kinda thing too often...sheesh...I think I'm getting old!
Prior to my "night on the town" (if I can even call it that!), my fam threw a surprise bridal shower for my aunt. Her wedding is coming up and with all the stress that's accompanied it thus far, it was fun to step away from it for a little bit and play games, spend time, reminisce, and eat. We did play this one game called "I Never"...everyone started off with 10 candy kisses...and each person has to come up with something they never did (for example, I've never been to Europe), but for those who HAVE done whatever it is, they have to give up a candy to that person. Whoever has the most candies at the end is the winner. This game was pretty hilarious to see some losing candies, some getting them back, and it was also fun to learn some new things about the famiy that I didn't know before. My Lola had a good one- "I've never drank soda in my entire life." Wowzers! We all had to give her a candy!
Even though it was a small gathering, all of us getting together is always FUN and LOUD. Then, I don't know how it all started, but Bebe-Ballerina girl started giving out mini-makeovers...I helped straighten hair and she did makeup. All of us got something done...yes, my mom included! And hey, how convenient that she was there to make me up for the club! Hee hee!
Wedding is in 13 days...the countdown has begun...
What a weekend! Hung out with RyceGirlie yesterday for dinner before heading out to Element Lounge in downtown San Francisco for Monkeyballz's farewell bash. Now, 'tis been a while since I've been out and about at a club and honestly, if it wasn't for Monkeyballz leaving the country, I think I would've passed. It wasn't bad at all, but I think I'm over the club scene. Thanks to RyceGirl for coming out for dinner, drinks, and dancing...we made it fun! Okay, okay, sure we had funky, no-rhythm wandering dude roll up every so often...then there's saxophone man messing with everyone's beats (dude, go away!)...then there were the two homies who were getting down with Beyonce's Crazy In Love...but yah, that's when we said we needed some water. LOL! Can't forget small B from the bar...awwwww, he was cute...just small! Aside from the spilled drinks and the go-get-a-room couple, it was cool to bust out our old skool moves...see? We made it fun...so what if we got tired before 1am?!
So I have to admit that since it has been a long time, I've forgotten the names of drinks...c'mon, I didn't want to sound like a total dork ordering this or that at the bar! Yes, I had to ask my girlfriends for recommendations and suggestions as to what to get- I ended up getting an apple martini first, then a cranberry and vodka. Hmm...both tasted a lot like a kool-aid drink (which could be dangerous!), but I was somewhat disappointed to not feel any buzz. Dammit! While it was fun to get out and see Monkeyballz get her groove on (you go girl!), I know for sure that I can't be doing this kinda thing too often...sheesh...I think I'm getting old!
Prior to my "night on the town" (if I can even call it that!), my fam threw a surprise bridal shower for my aunt. Her wedding is coming up and with all the stress that's accompanied it thus far, it was fun to step away from it for a little bit and play games, spend time, reminisce, and eat. We did play this one game called "I Never"...everyone started off with 10 candy kisses...and each person has to come up with something they never did (for example, I've never been to Europe), but for those who HAVE done whatever it is, they have to give up a candy to that person. Whoever has the most candies at the end is the winner. This game was pretty hilarious to see some losing candies, some getting them back, and it was also fun to learn some new things about the famiy that I didn't know before. My Lola had a good one- "I've never drank soda in my entire life." Wowzers! We all had to give her a candy!
Even though it was a small gathering, all of us getting together is always FUN and LOUD. Then, I don't know how it all started, but Bebe-Ballerina girl started giving out mini-makeovers...I helped straighten hair and she did makeup. All of us got something done...yes, my mom included! And hey, how convenient that she was there to make me up for the club! Hee hee!
Wedding is in 13 days...the countdown has begun...
Friday, June 22, 2007
Done-Done! (The School Year in Review)
It's taken me a week to really clean out my classroom, but as of today, I am done-done...compared to just plain done. As I gave my empty classroom one last look over, I reflected on the year that just passed. It's definitely been great to be back in the classroom full-time after a three-year absence and to be quite honest, it really felt like my 1st year of teaching all over again.
And y'know what they say...you never forget the first year, be it the teaching experience or the kids. In my case, it's the kids that I will miss the most.
Being back to work quickly reminded me of the non-stop work that goes on behind the scenes of being a teacher. For me, my mind is always going and always thinking of what can be done, what can be used, what can be improved, etc. Each time before something is discarded, I have to think twice in case it can be used for something else. Possible art project? Storage? Creative display? We can never just throw (or recycle) anything away...in fact, we are all packrats to the core.
Aside from the countless hours of correcting (or procrastinating to correct as my case may be...), planning, and preparing, it really has been AWESOME to be back in a classroom. I've missed the interaction working with young kids. This year's kids are particularly memorable...I don't think I've cracked up so much from what someone has done or said! The 8-9 year-old kids in my class are truly an unforgettable bunch and I'm going to miss them terribly.
Each year, I usually have a group of girls who like to hang with me. It's cute, really, how they loiter around my desk, offer random thoughts, tell me stories, tell me who they like, who likes whom (because it DOES start early nowadays...), volunteer to do things, and just talk about nothing and everything. A lil' groupie- lol. But this year was different...instead of the girls, it was the boys! And what makes this whole situation so endearing is that while most of them tended to get in trouble for one thing or another, it would be those same boys who would constantly hang around my desk sharing about this or that, and in most cases, telling me their latest jokes.
And what a bunch of jokesters I had!
My #1 Jokester, whom I am going to miss the most, won't be coming back to our school next year. I will always remember this one day where I had just finished lecturing the class about rules or something or other...probably their incessant talking because these kids would NOT STOP! Talk about madaldal! Anyways, tempers were high, lecture was given, students had their heads down, and all of a sudden, #12 raises his hand and when called upon says,
"So Superman walks into this bar, right?"
The timing was so off and even though I was upset, I was trying my best to hold my laughter in. That's just a glimpse of how the entire...ENTIRE...year went. Jokes, laughing, and fun times. Of course, we had our bad days, too....oh boy, did we! But for the most part, I really enjoyed these kids...enjoyed teaching them, learning from them, being inspired by them, spending time, talking and getting to know them, playing, joking, laughing...and oh yes, grossing them out. I've grossed them out so outrageously to the point where I'm practically crying from laughter. The looks of disgust and horror on their faces are classic, I love it! My theory has always been this simply: if the kids are ENJOYING the learning process, they will REMEMBER what they learned more. As much as possible, I want my kids to be reacting, laughing, grossing out, and more in my class. Teaching is almost like doing standup...if there's no laugh, I get that "...is this mic on?..." feeling. And with kids, they'll tell you like it is...that's what I love about 'em.
I can go on and on about the kids or even about the best parts of the school year. I should've blogged more often during school, but um, shoot...who has time to do that? In any case, as I look back, it's been a really tough year- physically, emotionally, psychologically, and yes, spiritually. I've been challenged with work as well as my personal life. With one being done (for at least 2 months or so!), I can now concentrate on getting my life in order.
Here are a couple of pics from the last few weeks of school that I wanted to share!
Looking for mud critters at our field trip to Crissy Field.
.JPG)
MnM and class
.JPG)
Our SerraBowl field trip...look at his form!
.JPG)
3rd Grade Teachers on Field Day (yes, in tie dye...)
.JPG)
Go Team Yellow! (I see ya' poppin' your collars!)
.JPG)
Honor students hamming it up! Hmmm....the answer is....
.JPG)
My boys...aren't they handsome in their ties?!
.JPG)
Last day of school...I just love the kids out of their uniforms! Oh, and check out my lil' poser in the front...my my...
.JPG)
It's taken me a week to really clean out my classroom, but as of today, I am done-done...compared to just plain done. As I gave my empty classroom one last look over, I reflected on the year that just passed. It's definitely been great to be back in the classroom full-time after a three-year absence and to be quite honest, it really felt like my 1st year of teaching all over again.
And y'know what they say...you never forget the first year, be it the teaching experience or the kids. In my case, it's the kids that I will miss the most.
Being back to work quickly reminded me of the non-stop work that goes on behind the scenes of being a teacher. For me, my mind is always going and always thinking of what can be done, what can be used, what can be improved, etc. Each time before something is discarded, I have to think twice in case it can be used for something else. Possible art project? Storage? Creative display? We can never just throw (or recycle) anything away...in fact, we are all packrats to the core.
Aside from the countless hours of correcting (or procrastinating to correct as my case may be...), planning, and preparing, it really has been AWESOME to be back in a classroom. I've missed the interaction working with young kids. This year's kids are particularly memorable...I don't think I've cracked up so much from what someone has done or said! The 8-9 year-old kids in my class are truly an unforgettable bunch and I'm going to miss them terribly.
Each year, I usually have a group of girls who like to hang with me. It's cute, really, how they loiter around my desk, offer random thoughts, tell me stories, tell me who they like, who likes whom (because it DOES start early nowadays...), volunteer to do things, and just talk about nothing and everything. A lil' groupie- lol. But this year was different...instead of the girls, it was the boys! And what makes this whole situation so endearing is that while most of them tended to get in trouble for one thing or another, it would be those same boys who would constantly hang around my desk sharing about this or that, and in most cases, telling me their latest jokes.
And what a bunch of jokesters I had!
My #1 Jokester, whom I am going to miss the most, won't be coming back to our school next year. I will always remember this one day where I had just finished lecturing the class about rules or something or other...probably their incessant talking because these kids would NOT STOP! Talk about madaldal! Anyways, tempers were high, lecture was given, students had their heads down, and all of a sudden, #12 raises his hand and when called upon says,
"So Superman walks into this bar, right?"
The timing was so off and even though I was upset, I was trying my best to hold my laughter in. That's just a glimpse of how the entire...ENTIRE...year went. Jokes, laughing, and fun times. Of course, we had our bad days, too....oh boy, did we! But for the most part, I really enjoyed these kids...enjoyed teaching them, learning from them, being inspired by them, spending time, talking and getting to know them, playing, joking, laughing...and oh yes, grossing them out. I've grossed them out so outrageously to the point where I'm practically crying from laughter. The looks of disgust and horror on their faces are classic, I love it! My theory has always been this simply: if the kids are ENJOYING the learning process, they will REMEMBER what they learned more. As much as possible, I want my kids to be reacting, laughing, grossing out, and more in my class. Teaching is almost like doing standup...if there's no laugh, I get that "...is this mic on?..." feeling. And with kids, they'll tell you like it is...that's what I love about 'em.
I can go on and on about the kids or even about the best parts of the school year. I should've blogged more often during school, but um, shoot...who has time to do that? In any case, as I look back, it's been a really tough year- physically, emotionally, psychologically, and yes, spiritually. I've been challenged with work as well as my personal life. With one being done (for at least 2 months or so!), I can now concentrate on getting my life in order.
Here are a couple of pics from the last few weeks of school that I wanted to share!
Looking for mud critters at our field trip to Crissy Field.
.JPG)
MnM and class
.JPG)
Our SerraBowl field trip...look at his form!
.JPG)
3rd Grade Teachers on Field Day (yes, in tie dye...)
.JPG)
Go Team Yellow! (I see ya' poppin' your collars!)
.JPG)
Honor students hamming it up! Hmmm....the answer is....
.JPG)
My boys...aren't they handsome in their ties?!
.JPG)
Last day of school...I just love the kids out of their uniforms! Oh, and check out my lil' poser in the front...my my...
.JPG)
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Change of Seasons
Today is the official start of summer- June 21. (btw: the pic above was taken at Ocean Beach today...was such a fabulous day in the city!) It's always mind-blowing at how quickly time passes and how the year goes by in a flash. For all of us teachers, once Memorial Day hits, it's the sure signal that the end of the school year is just around the corner. It's also at that point where we do that panicky self-assessment and realize that we're nowhere close to completing all of the work, projects, and activities that was originally planned. Seriously...where does the time go?
Hung out with the BFF and Monkeyballz (love that name!) today for lunch and shopping. Finally ate at BJ's at Tanforan...I didn't know that it was a Chicago style pizza place! Pretty yum (had mini Great White pizza...chicken, mushrooms, tomatoes, and alfredo white sauce) and the avocado rolls were surprisingly good, too. As always, time with these two is full of fun, jokes, and laughter...and apparently, eating off of each other's plates, too! In some ways it's sad because Monkeyballz is headed off to Beijing next month...and she'll be staying there for a two-year teaching gig! The opportunity is really awesome because not only does she get to travel and teach abroad, but part of the contract includes a fully furnished apartment with full amenities. How dope is that? It really works out and the fact that she's young and single (omg...she's going to come back married....lol) makes the decision to leave a little bit easier, I think. Work definitely won't be the same without her and we three definitely feel like we should've been hanging out more BEFORE this whole decision to go. But it's all good...the conversations, fellowship, advice, venting, laughing, eating, and the shopping (you two have a serious impulsive shopping disorder....i thought we'd NEVER leave Charlotte Russe!) has been so much fun...and even though she'll be gone for a bit, we look forward to her return. Two years will fly by in a flash...guaranteed.
Speaking of Charlotte Russe...yes, yes, it's a store that I never go in myself...but was dragged by the shopaholics themselves...I DID find this pair of shoes. Lol!
(alright...so it was an impulsive buy...just like those Ann Taylor sunglasses they coaxed me to buy!) Aren't they cute? Totally not my style, but oh well, what the heck! 'Tis time to try something new!
Just for the record...I finally got my contacts, which, btw, came with the interesting retinal imaging thingy where they take a picture of the inside of the eye to make sure everything is a-ok. Fortunately, my eyes are good to go, but the queasiness wouldn't go away as my eye doctor gave me a comprehensive look at the inards of my eye via the computer image. Seriously...this is one of the major reasons why I cannot be in any type of medical field...everything just grosses me out! In any case, got the contacts, and yes BFF and Monkeyballz...it means I can finally wear the shades- whoo hoo!
Today is the official start of summer- June 21. (btw: the pic above was taken at Ocean Beach today...was such a fabulous day in the city!) It's always mind-blowing at how quickly time passes and how the year goes by in a flash. For all of us teachers, once Memorial Day hits, it's the sure signal that the end of the school year is just around the corner. It's also at that point where we do that panicky self-assessment and realize that we're nowhere close to completing all of the work, projects, and activities that was originally planned. Seriously...where does the time go?
Hung out with the BFF and Monkeyballz (love that name!) today for lunch and shopping. Finally ate at BJ's at Tanforan...I didn't know that it was a Chicago style pizza place! Pretty yum (had mini Great White pizza...chicken, mushrooms, tomatoes, and alfredo white sauce) and the avocado rolls were surprisingly good, too. As always, time with these two is full of fun, jokes, and laughter...and apparently, eating off of each other's plates, too! In some ways it's sad because Monkeyballz is headed off to Beijing next month...and she'll be staying there for a two-year teaching gig! The opportunity is really awesome because not only does she get to travel and teach abroad, but part of the contract includes a fully furnished apartment with full amenities. How dope is that? It really works out and the fact that she's young and single (omg...she's going to come back married....lol) makes the decision to leave a little bit easier, I think. Work definitely won't be the same without her and we three definitely feel like we should've been hanging out more BEFORE this whole decision to go. But it's all good...the conversations, fellowship, advice, venting, laughing, eating, and the shopping (you two have a serious impulsive shopping disorder....i thought we'd NEVER leave Charlotte Russe!) has been so much fun...and even though she'll be gone for a bit, we look forward to her return. Two years will fly by in a flash...guaranteed.
Speaking of Charlotte Russe...yes, yes, it's a store that I never go in myself...but was dragged by the shopaholics themselves...I DID find this pair of shoes. Lol!
(alright...so it was an impulsive buy...just like those Ann Taylor sunglasses they coaxed me to buy!) Aren't they cute? Totally not my style, but oh well, what the heck! 'Tis time to try something new!
Just for the record...I finally got my contacts, which, btw, came with the interesting retinal imaging thingy where they take a picture of the inside of the eye to make sure everything is a-ok. Fortunately, my eyes are good to go, but the queasiness wouldn't go away as my eye doctor gave me a comprehensive look at the inards of my eye via the computer image. Seriously...this is one of the major reasons why I cannot be in any type of medical field...everything just grosses me out! In any case, got the contacts, and yes BFF and Monkeyballz...it means I can finally wear the shades- whoo hoo!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
A Few Things...
St. Francis Woods
Just had to mention that on my way to West Portal for tonight's dinner, I took my alternate route through St. Francis Woods. Back in high school, my girlfriends and I had "chosen" which homes we would live in....had we the millions of dollars to afford to live there, that is...lol. I remember claiming this one corner house off Monterey Blvd with white, tall columns and this long curvy driveway. Each and every time I passed it, I couldn't help but stare in wonder because I thought it was one of the most beautiful houses I've ever seen. I'd imagine living there and parking my luxury car in the driveway. Even though that was years when I claimed that house, whenever I do pass it now, I always remember and think of my high school days. I've always loved driving through St. Francis Woods because to me, it was cool to drive through the rich neighborhood. I loved seeing the beautiful homes with their perfectly trimmed hedges and surrounding landscapes...but driving through after dinner, it doesn't fail to wow me again. Seeing things at night always gives you a different perspective and just like over candlelight, things just seem a little bit more romantic. It's the same with this neighborhood. With the streetlamps lit, there's this sort of old school mystique to the place, I can't quite put my finger on it. Just another reminder of how beautiful our city is...because sometimes I forget.
Starbucks
After Hahn's Hibachi, I headed over to Starbucks with Helene. Yay for coffee! Again, I got that nostalgic feeling because it's been years, literally, since I've been to this particular coffee shop. Back in college, I remember passing by EVERY DAY for a mocha frappachino. What makes that thought so bad (when I look back on it) is that I'd start each morning at State with a coffee drink, go to my classes, and at the end of the day, head to West Portal Starbucks for yet, another coffee drink. Geez..and people wonder why kids in college never sleep! Now that the school year is over, I really have to cut down. As sad as it is to admit, I've become quite addicted..and I told myself that I'd NEVER become one of those people who HAD to have coffee....danggit! Well, let's see how the summer goes...if not Starbucks, how about Jamba Juice???
Coincidentally...for all of you Starbucks drinkers....do you take time to READ your cup? That's right....read! In case you haven't, the next time you order your coffee, mocha, latte, or whatever, read the cup. There is a "the way I see it" snippet...I really enjoy reading these random thoughts and I think if anything, they all make good conversations (over coffee) starters. I will try and update here and post what is found on MY cup of the day...interesting stuff...
New Blog Buddy
Just wanted to introduce a new blog link that I've added....Ethan's Mommy. I've been bugging Ethan's Mommy for quite some time now to get a blog going to keep track of how year one of being a mama has been. It's better late than never! Welcome to blogworld, girlfriend...can't wait to read up on how cutiepie baby Ethan is doing!
Click Me feature
If you look to the right, you'll notice a sidebar with "Click Me" and a couple of pictures of Il Divo. It's a new feature by blogger where you could attach links to youtube.com videos. What's so neat is that instead of taking you to the youtube.com site, a video pops up on my site instead! What's even cooler is that the featured videos change...I think, on a daily basis! Okay, okay, so ya'll are not huge Il Divo fans like me (shame on you!), but humor me anyways and click on them for a clip of one of their songs. Let them romance you and you could see for yourself why I LOVE them so much! (yes, yes, I am crazy...for Il Divo!)
Birthday Shout-out
Just wanted to send a belated birthday shout-out to E- hope your 35th was a blast! Love, hugs, and prayers to you!
Congratulations!
Wishing Enilora C lotsa love and hugs for graduating high school! Girl, I am SO PROUD of you...success will find you at UC Irvine and wherever you go. Love and miss you...know that I am here for you always.
St. Francis Woods
Just had to mention that on my way to West Portal for tonight's dinner, I took my alternate route through St. Francis Woods. Back in high school, my girlfriends and I had "chosen" which homes we would live in....had we the millions of dollars to afford to live there, that is...lol. I remember claiming this one corner house off Monterey Blvd with white, tall columns and this long curvy driveway. Each and every time I passed it, I couldn't help but stare in wonder because I thought it was one of the most beautiful houses I've ever seen. I'd imagine living there and parking my luxury car in the driveway. Even though that was years when I claimed that house, whenever I do pass it now, I always remember and think of my high school days. I've always loved driving through St. Francis Woods because to me, it was cool to drive through the rich neighborhood. I loved seeing the beautiful homes with their perfectly trimmed hedges and surrounding landscapes...but driving through after dinner, it doesn't fail to wow me again. Seeing things at night always gives you a different perspective and just like over candlelight, things just seem a little bit more romantic. It's the same with this neighborhood. With the streetlamps lit, there's this sort of old school mystique to the place, I can't quite put my finger on it. Just another reminder of how beautiful our city is...because sometimes I forget.
Starbucks
After Hahn's Hibachi, I headed over to Starbucks with Helene. Yay for coffee! Again, I got that nostalgic feeling because it's been years, literally, since I've been to this particular coffee shop. Back in college, I remember passing by EVERY DAY for a mocha frappachino. What makes that thought so bad (when I look back on it) is that I'd start each morning at State with a coffee drink, go to my classes, and at the end of the day, head to West Portal Starbucks for yet, another coffee drink. Geez..and people wonder why kids in college never sleep! Now that the school year is over, I really have to cut down. As sad as it is to admit, I've become quite addicted..and I told myself that I'd NEVER become one of those people who HAD to have coffee....danggit! Well, let's see how the summer goes...if not Starbucks, how about Jamba Juice???
Coincidentally...for all of you Starbucks drinkers....do you take time to READ your cup? That's right....read! In case you haven't, the next time you order your coffee, mocha, latte, or whatever, read the cup. There is a "the way I see it" snippet...I really enjoy reading these random thoughts and I think if anything, they all make good conversations (over coffee) starters. I will try and update here and post what is found on MY cup of the day...interesting stuff...
New Blog Buddy
Just wanted to introduce a new blog link that I've added....Ethan's Mommy. I've been bugging Ethan's Mommy for quite some time now to get a blog going to keep track of how year one of being a mama has been. It's better late than never! Welcome to blogworld, girlfriend...can't wait to read up on how cutiepie baby Ethan is doing!
Click Me feature
If you look to the right, you'll notice a sidebar with "Click Me" and a couple of pictures of Il Divo. It's a new feature by blogger where you could attach links to youtube.com videos. What's so neat is that instead of taking you to the youtube.com site, a video pops up on my site instead! What's even cooler is that the featured videos change...I think, on a daily basis! Okay, okay, so ya'll are not huge Il Divo fans like me (shame on you!), but humor me anyways and click on them for a clip of one of their songs. Let them romance you and you could see for yourself why I LOVE them so much! (yes, yes, I am crazy...for Il Divo!)
Birthday Shout-out
Just wanted to send a belated birthday shout-out to E- hope your 35th was a blast! Love, hugs, and prayers to you!
Congratulations!
Wishing Enilora C lotsa love and hugs for graduating high school! Girl, I am SO PROUD of you...success will find you at UC Irvine and wherever you go. Love and miss you...know that I am here for you always.
3rd Grade Teachers
It's become an annual event...at the end of the school year, the 3rd grade teachers, all current and former, along with their husbands, significant others, and children, come together for dinner, conversations, and tons of laughs. With school over, everyone is a tad more relaxed and we're all able to just let our hair down. For the most part, we do get to see each other, but it's usually in passing, during breaks, on occasion, and even by accident...but to be able to sit down and just talk? Doesn't happen very often.
Since I've been gone, this is only my second dinner, but it was held again at Hahn's Hibachi restaurant in West Portal. Food is pretty yummy (BBQ Pork...good) and the prices are affordable. It's not a huge place, but big enough to accomodate all 18 of us. The seating arrangement doesn't quite work out...just a bunch of tables put together to make one really long one...makes conversation difficult unless you make your rounds. (let's leave it to Marcia's hubby to devise a new plan...lol!)
Looking around the table, it's neat to see everyone's kids- running around making noise, doing kids' stuff, plus the babies (baby Ethan!) and the baby that's on her way (baby Yu!). There was a time that I can still remember when most of the teachers present weren't married and were without kids...so today's get-together got me somewhat nostalgic. We weren't quite complete, though, and not having Barb, Erica, and Nellie wasn't quite the same. (we missed you!)
Thanks everyone who came out and special thanks to Mommy Low for setting it all up for us! It's been a great year, but it's time to rest up- have a wonderful summer!
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3rd Grade Teachers
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3rd Grade Teachers and families
It's become an annual event...at the end of the school year, the 3rd grade teachers, all current and former, along with their husbands, significant others, and children, come together for dinner, conversations, and tons of laughs. With school over, everyone is a tad more relaxed and we're all able to just let our hair down. For the most part, we do get to see each other, but it's usually in passing, during breaks, on occasion, and even by accident...but to be able to sit down and just talk? Doesn't happen very often.
Since I've been gone, this is only my second dinner, but it was held again at Hahn's Hibachi restaurant in West Portal. Food is pretty yummy (BBQ Pork...good) and the prices are affordable. It's not a huge place, but big enough to accomodate all 18 of us. The seating arrangement doesn't quite work out...just a bunch of tables put together to make one really long one...makes conversation difficult unless you make your rounds. (let's leave it to Marcia's hubby to devise a new plan...lol!)
Looking around the table, it's neat to see everyone's kids- running around making noise, doing kids' stuff, plus the babies (baby Ethan!) and the baby that's on her way (baby Yu!). There was a time that I can still remember when most of the teachers present weren't married and were without kids...so today's get-together got me somewhat nostalgic. We weren't quite complete, though, and not having Barb, Erica, and Nellie wasn't quite the same. (we missed you!)
Thanks everyone who came out and special thanks to Mommy Low for setting it all up for us! It's been a great year, but it's time to rest up- have a wonderful summer!
.JPG)
3rd Grade Teachers
.JPG)
3rd Grade Teachers and families
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Healing....My Way
I can't quite explain it. As much anger, bitterness, hurt, and sadness that I feel, as soon as I hear that voice on the other end of the phone, I become that other person...and I cringe. It makes me realize just how very weak I am...that all the progress I feel that I've made in overcoming my obstacles slips through my fingers like sand...that in one instant, my heart breaks all over again...and the fact that I allow him to affect me the way that he does pisses the hell out of me.
And yet, I know why he affects me the way that he does. It's because deep down, I still love him. His actions have traumatized me to the point where my views on marriage and relationships are so jaded that it's not even funny. Getting married? Don't do it! But hell, if you do, make sure you REALLY KNOW everything about your man...see what I mean? I know for a fact that I will not be having any significant relationships in the near future. Why? Shoot...why should I open myself to another person just to have the person rip my heart out? No thanks...it's happened to me one too many times...been there, done that. Why bother?
I had to laugh the other day when a friend said that she read my blog...."...it's so angry!" I know, I know. What can I say...I've got issues! Somewhere along the way, it went from normal everyday happenings to venting sessions about my personal life. Someone asked me, why do you put everything out there for everyone to read? My response? Why not? I really don't care anymore...because I never had anything to hide.
Which brings me to my next point...last week, I watched the movie "Catch and Release" on dvd and afterwards, was compelled to write yet, another angry post. Sure enough, I heard from the hubby...nevermind that it's been almost three months since the last time we've talked! Being already overly emotional, this supposed strong woman breaks down...I couldn't help it. It was overwhelming. But the reason why he called was because of my blog...and the way I "blasted" him out in public. I actually began to feel guilty for writing what I did...and afterwards, I deleted my post. Again, I questioned myself as to why I let him affect me the way that he does.
But you know what? This is MY BLOG and I can say whatever it is I want to say! Why should I be walking on eggshells for you or anyone else just because it might hurt your feelings? Why should I worry WHO might read this? This is for me to express myself and for me only. If people you know come upon this blog per chance, well hell, it's just too damn bad. Let them read. I'm tired of going out of my way to appease you because really...what have you done for me lately?
And so, I am re-posting my original blog. While the hubby perceives it as being put on blast for all the world to see, I see it as my way of healing. If I don't talk about it (or in this case, write about it), I will never get over it. And getting over it is something that I truly need to do. Keeping it hidden and to myself has killed me slowly and eaten me up alive...but no more.
I came to a very startling realization the other day. Each and every year that I've taught, the hubby was there to help me- whether it was to setup my class, move around the furniture, help me correct papers late at night, and just offer moral support. But this year, he didn't. He wasn't around. From the first days of school to my last day on Thursday, I went the entire school year without him, his help, his ideas, his time, or his money. There were many times when I thought I'd fail on my own, but I did it...without him..and I am so freakin' proud of myself!
Catch and Release
originally written and posted June 10, 2007
I made it a Blockbuster night tonight...just me, myself, and I. I'm supposed to be working on report cards. I've had the dvd for a few weeks now and if ya'll know me, Tuesday found me at Best Buy that day.
I remember seeing the preview for this movie and thinking to myself, "crying movie." Not that the movie would generate Lord of the Rings-esque millions, but I knew that it was a movie that I wanted to see. Without ruining the movie for those who haven't seen it, Jennifer Garner's character's (Gray) fiance dies and in the process of dealing with his death, she comes to learn of his many secrets.
How interesting that his secrets involved children and money...
Among the fiance's three best friends, only one knew the real truth. As it is with those left in the dark, the other two were hurt and confused that their friend didn't trust them enough to share the secret. Coincidentally, one of those two guys have been in love with Gray and when he says this to her, I lost it:
"For six years, I kept telling myself that he was the better man for you. But he wasn't! Look what he did to you! If you were mine, I would never, NEVER have let that happen."
Just today, a friend of mine said, "How could he do that to you? You don't deserve that. He didn't deserve you."
Damn straight he didn't deserve me!
Rando withheld his secrets from me for almost FOUR YEARS before coming clean. In fact, did I ever mention how I had these gut feelings about certain aspects of his life? A day that is forever seared into my memory- February 16, 2003 - is when Rando and I had "the talk." No wait, I take that back. He had said that he needed to tell me something, but because of the shitless coward that he is, I had to end up guessing what it was that he wanted to get off his chest. (Un)lucky me, I guessed correctly!
My exact words were, "What is it? Do you have a kid or something?" And when he didn't answer, his eyes to the ground and his head hung low said it all. I went ballistic. I remember throwing the remote control against the wall and swearing like a sailor. Then I slapped him, but later on he would tell me that I hit him...hard. And I remember crying uncontrollably...something that I would end up doing each and every night for the next three years.
But of course, the lies didn't end there. Five months later, I found that he had a total of three children from a prior marriage. But c'mon, the kicker was when I found out he wasn't even divorced at the time we got married! How is it that I was totally unaware of all this?! Just like in the movie, Gray knew nothing of her fiance's past.
Secrets aren't necessarily a bad thing. Everyone has their own secrets. But when two people decide to commit their lives to one another in marriage, I believe there should be none. Any relationship must have trust as the foundation; without it, the relationship fails. And that is exactly what happened to mine.
At the end of the movie, Gray speaks out about her fiance, telling people all of the great things about him and even the not-so-great things, but leaving out all of the other complicated stuff. This, being a movie, of course has its happy ending...its resolutions. I'm still waiting for mine. If I had to reword her last speech to mirror how my life is unfolding, it might sound a little bit like this:
"I didn't know everything about Rando...but here is some things that I do know. His number one passion is basketball. He would hate for anyone to assume that his height is a disadvantage to the game. He will tell you that from the age of five, his dad made him practice to the point of tears, but he learned to go left when others believe he'll go right. I know that when he is on the court, he demands respect, and from what I saw, he was good. His other passions were surfing and music- while it seemed that he was the life of the party, he really was a sensitive guy. But it took his lies for me to see the real Rando and his lies turned me into another person entirely. I became a person I hated, someone whom I was ashamed to be and someone whom I had no respect for. I carried the burden of his lies and in the process, his lies became my own. I stood up for him and defended him. I chose him over my family and my friends...even when I knew that what I should've done was leave. It took me two years too long, but I did. People don't want to hear the details of what happened and I don't need anyone's sympathy or pity. However, they do want to hear that I am praying for him and that he, for the sake of his children, learns to make wiser decisions and ultimately, owns up to everything that he's done. When people do ask if I loved him, I tell them the truth- I did. And that's what makes this whole divorce process so damn difficult- the fact that I cared so deeply for someone. But now, with so many other recent surprises, I hate that he still affects me the way he does. I just wish it would all be over and done with.
I can't quite explain it. As much anger, bitterness, hurt, and sadness that I feel, as soon as I hear that voice on the other end of the phone, I become that other person...and I cringe. It makes me realize just how very weak I am...that all the progress I feel that I've made in overcoming my obstacles slips through my fingers like sand...that in one instant, my heart breaks all over again...and the fact that I allow him to affect me the way that he does pisses the hell out of me.
And yet, I know why he affects me the way that he does. It's because deep down, I still love him. His actions have traumatized me to the point where my views on marriage and relationships are so jaded that it's not even funny. Getting married? Don't do it! But hell, if you do, make sure you REALLY KNOW everything about your man...see what I mean? I know for a fact that I will not be having any significant relationships in the near future. Why? Shoot...why should I open myself to another person just to have the person rip my heart out? No thanks...it's happened to me one too many times...been there, done that. Why bother?
I had to laugh the other day when a friend said that she read my blog...."...it's so angry!" I know, I know. What can I say...I've got issues! Somewhere along the way, it went from normal everyday happenings to venting sessions about my personal life. Someone asked me, why do you put everything out there for everyone to read? My response? Why not? I really don't care anymore...because I never had anything to hide.
Which brings me to my next point...last week, I watched the movie "Catch and Release" on dvd and afterwards, was compelled to write yet, another angry post. Sure enough, I heard from the hubby...nevermind that it's been almost three months since the last time we've talked! Being already overly emotional, this supposed strong woman breaks down...I couldn't help it. It was overwhelming. But the reason why he called was because of my blog...and the way I "blasted" him out in public. I actually began to feel guilty for writing what I did...and afterwards, I deleted my post. Again, I questioned myself as to why I let him affect me the way that he does.
But you know what? This is MY BLOG and I can say whatever it is I want to say! Why should I be walking on eggshells for you or anyone else just because it might hurt your feelings? Why should I worry WHO might read this? This is for me to express myself and for me only. If people you know come upon this blog per chance, well hell, it's just too damn bad. Let them read. I'm tired of going out of my way to appease you because really...what have you done for me lately?
And so, I am re-posting my original blog. While the hubby perceives it as being put on blast for all the world to see, I see it as my way of healing. If I don't talk about it (or in this case, write about it), I will never get over it. And getting over it is something that I truly need to do. Keeping it hidden and to myself has killed me slowly and eaten me up alive...but no more.
I came to a very startling realization the other day. Each and every year that I've taught, the hubby was there to help me- whether it was to setup my class, move around the furniture, help me correct papers late at night, and just offer moral support. But this year, he didn't. He wasn't around. From the first days of school to my last day on Thursday, I went the entire school year without him, his help, his ideas, his time, or his money. There were many times when I thought I'd fail on my own, but I did it...without him..and I am so freakin' proud of myself!
Catch and Release
originally written and posted June 10, 2007
I made it a Blockbuster night tonight...just me, myself, and I. I'm supposed to be working on report cards. I've had the dvd for a few weeks now and if ya'll know me, Tuesday found me at Best Buy that day.
I remember seeing the preview for this movie and thinking to myself, "crying movie." Not that the movie would generate Lord of the Rings-esque millions, but I knew that it was a movie that I wanted to see. Without ruining the movie for those who haven't seen it, Jennifer Garner's character's (Gray) fiance dies and in the process of dealing with his death, she comes to learn of his many secrets.
How interesting that his secrets involved children and money...
Among the fiance's three best friends, only one knew the real truth. As it is with those left in the dark, the other two were hurt and confused that their friend didn't trust them enough to share the secret. Coincidentally, one of those two guys have been in love with Gray and when he says this to her, I lost it:
"For six years, I kept telling myself that he was the better man for you. But he wasn't! Look what he did to you! If you were mine, I would never, NEVER have let that happen."
Just today, a friend of mine said, "How could he do that to you? You don't deserve that. He didn't deserve you."
Damn straight he didn't deserve me!
Rando withheld his secrets from me for almost FOUR YEARS before coming clean. In fact, did I ever mention how I had these gut feelings about certain aspects of his life? A day that is forever seared into my memory- February 16, 2003 - is when Rando and I had "the talk." No wait, I take that back. He had said that he needed to tell me something, but because of the shitless coward that he is, I had to end up guessing what it was that he wanted to get off his chest. (Un)lucky me, I guessed correctly!
My exact words were, "What is it? Do you have a kid or something?" And when he didn't answer, his eyes to the ground and his head hung low said it all. I went ballistic. I remember throwing the remote control against the wall and swearing like a sailor. Then I slapped him, but later on he would tell me that I hit him...hard. And I remember crying uncontrollably...something that I would end up doing each and every night for the next three years.
But of course, the lies didn't end there. Five months later, I found that he had a total of three children from a prior marriage. But c'mon, the kicker was when I found out he wasn't even divorced at the time we got married! How is it that I was totally unaware of all this?! Just like in the movie, Gray knew nothing of her fiance's past.
Secrets aren't necessarily a bad thing. Everyone has their own secrets. But when two people decide to commit their lives to one another in marriage, I believe there should be none. Any relationship must have trust as the foundation; without it, the relationship fails. And that is exactly what happened to mine.
At the end of the movie, Gray speaks out about her fiance, telling people all of the great things about him and even the not-so-great things, but leaving out all of the other complicated stuff. This, being a movie, of course has its happy ending...its resolutions. I'm still waiting for mine. If I had to reword her last speech to mirror how my life is unfolding, it might sound a little bit like this:
"I didn't know everything about Rando...but here is some things that I do know. His number one passion is basketball. He would hate for anyone to assume that his height is a disadvantage to the game. He will tell you that from the age of five, his dad made him practice to the point of tears, but he learned to go left when others believe he'll go right. I know that when he is on the court, he demands respect, and from what I saw, he was good. His other passions were surfing and music- while it seemed that he was the life of the party, he really was a sensitive guy. But it took his lies for me to see the real Rando and his lies turned me into another person entirely. I became a person I hated, someone whom I was ashamed to be and someone whom I had no respect for. I carried the burden of his lies and in the process, his lies became my own. I stood up for him and defended him. I chose him over my family and my friends...even when I knew that what I should've done was leave. It took me two years too long, but I did. People don't want to hear the details of what happened and I don't need anyone's sympathy or pity. However, they do want to hear that I am praying for him and that he, for the sake of his children, learns to make wiser decisions and ultimately, owns up to everything that he's done. When people do ask if I loved him, I tell them the truth- I did. And that's what makes this whole divorce process so damn difficult- the fact that I cared so deeply for someone. But now, with so many other recent surprises, I hate that he still affects me the way he does. I just wish it would all be over and done with.
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