Where In The World is Rando?
A letter for my husband...
So where are you hiding out, Ran? Why are you nowhere to be found? Is it because you know that creditors are searching for your ass? Maybe that's part of your grandmaster plan...hide out, let them seek out the wife, let her pay up for bills left unpaid, surprise her with unpaid back-taxes, let her deal with the financial strain, and by the way, ain't those great waves to surf on today? Face up to your responsibilities already! Do the fucking DECENT thing and sign the goddamn papers. Let's get this over and done with...it's the least you can do for everything you've put me through.
I know you lurk in blogworld and I know that you and your peoples check to see what it is I'm bitching about next. I'm so sick and tired of all of this bullshit. There was a time when I honestly thought that we could settle things cordially, but at this point, forget it.
I don't give a damn about who knows what anymore. In fact, I'll gladly tell the world what I've had to endure because of your lies. But see, unfortunately it doesn't stop with me...not only did you hurt me, my family, my friends, our friends, but you ended up disappointing the people who love you the most- YOUR family. For them to apologize to me for what you've done is just plain cowardice on your part.
I don't care to know what goes through that head of yours. I don't have the time or energy to listen to any of your excuses. I'm done with all of it. Take all of the materialistic shit you whined about- the dvds that you constantly remind me that YOU'VE paid for, the leather couch, the barbecue grill, and whatnot. It ain't worth the trouble to fight over. But if you want to argue about everything else in that townhome that we got (with MY parents' financial help, no less), I will fight you on it. You may have bought many things for the house, but it was ME who made it a home. Aside from the girls, I am the BEST thing that ever happened in your life..and you know it.
When does it end, Ran? How far will you run? How far will you hide? How many more lies will surface and just how hard will you try to cover them up with even more lies? You've lost track, haven't you? That's funny. It's downright hilarious! You can't remember what you've told to whom...and that's what will be your downfall. Karma is strong, my dear husband....karma is a bitch...and I believe that you will get exactly what you deserve in the end.
---your wife
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End
Got to see the screening of the first show of Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End last night with RyceGirlie. I was pretty stoked considering I originally thought that the movie opened up on a Friday. Because I had made plans, I was bummed that I'd have to wait it out until I saw it like I did with Spiderman 3 (violent movie, by the way, and way more drama than I expected!). There I was watching American Idol and a commercial played for Pirates...and lo and behold, it said "opens on Thursday!" In a quick flash, I was on Fandango.com buying two tix for the 1st show. I didn't care who came with me and I really didn't have anyone in mind at the time- all I knew was that I WAS going.
The movie did not disappoint! First off, it was long.....but I'm not complaining! If I can sit through watching Titanic the five times that I did in the theater, well, 2 hours and 45 minutes is nothing. But I think the fact that it ended almost at midnight, and not only did I still have work that needed to be done, but it didn't help that I was still recovering from my field trip. Right off the bat, I was already tired, but hey, Johnny and Orlando are on screen....shhhhhhh, don't bother me and let me watch! Lol!
Got to see the screening of the first show of Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End last night with RyceGirlie. I was pretty stoked considering I originally thought that the movie opened up on a Friday. Because I had made plans, I was bummed that I'd have to wait it out until I saw it like I did with Spiderman 3 (violent movie, by the way, and way more drama than I expected!). There I was watching American Idol and a commercial played for Pirates...and lo and behold, it said "opens on Thursday!" In a quick flash, I was on Fandango.com buying two tix for the 1st show. I didn't care who came with me and I really didn't have anyone in mind at the time- all I knew was that I WAS going. The movie did not disappoint! First off, it was long.....but I'm not complaining! If I can sit through watching Titanic the five times that I did in the theater, well, 2 hours and 45 minutes is nothing. But I think the fact that it ended almost at midnight, and not only did I still have work that needed to be done, but it didn't help that I was still recovering from my field trip. Right off the bat, I was already tired, but hey, Johnny and Orlando are on screen....shhhhhhh, don't bother me and let me watch! Lol!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
How Much More?
The other day, I wrote this entire blog about how I've been feeling about my last post. Indescribable anger is how I felt, but in time, the initial anger began to subside. It's ironic that I had JUST felt like I was coming to terms with how my life has been playing out and them BLAM! Each and every time a secret is revealed, it's as if I get the wind knocked out of me- my heart beats faster, my palms get sweaty, my mouth gets dry, and I am left speechless. Before, the tears would be instantaneous and I would be overcome with nausea. I still get the nauseous feeling, but my reserve of tears have almost run dry.
When I learned the news of your stupidity once again, I couldn't believe my ears. For the next few days, the disappointment you caused consumed my every thought. It came to the point where I lost all focus and concentration on work and I began to map out in my head exactly what I would say to you if I were to see you face to face.
But then, I got an email reminder for the concert I would attend- the Spring Celebration featuring Jeremy Camp and the David Crowder Band at Paramount's Great America. I had been looking forward to this concert for over a month! I had bought the tickets before Easter and once Easter and my birthday rolled around, I honest-to-God thought that I could finally and truly forgive the bastard for all that he's put me through. I honestly thought that it was time to move forward. During the concert (which was totally AWESOME!), I thought about you. I thought about how much you needed God in your life, to help turn your life around, to help you make wiser decisions, to give you the strength to swallow that pride, for determination to want to do better and to be a better dad, and above all, the will to forgive yourself. I felt at peace with a lot of things at the concert. To be with so many people who were down for God and to be among those who were praising and worshipping Him at, of all places, Great America, was truly an inspiring feeling and it was exactly the type of spiritual food that I needed for what was to come.
I am a believer that all things happen for a reason. I also believe that God doesn't give you anything that He thinks you can't handle- "if God PUTS you through it, He will SEE you through it." The letter that arrived in the mail hit me like a ton of bricks and again, I was left speechless. In the course of this one school-year, I have had to front and take care of your financial obligations. Why? Because you don't have the decency and the responsibility to take care of what you need to take care of. Maybe you think that you can just "get by," maybe you think that no one will notice. But once a liar, always a liar. Once an asshole, always the asshole.
Maybe the fact that you were terminated from your job is funny to you. Hell, maybe you really don't give a damn. Wasn't it you who said that at least it would give you more time to go back to surfing? So while you're out catching waves and being a beach bum, creditors and banks can't find you. They can't find you because you don't have a forwarding address, but lucky for freakin' me, they have mine. And so, since they can't find your ass, they decide to go after mine. Is that how you saw it working in your mind? Do you find it hilarious that your ass is deep in debt? And what are you doing about it? By golly, dumbass decides to go surf!
I refuse to let your continuous lies and deceit get to me. I was so wrong into thinking that getting your f*cking signature would be a breeze....but since when were things easy when it came to you? That's right, I forget....it's always D-R-A-M-A with you. I've come to realize that even though the marriage was over, the end is so far out of reach..and it's all thanks to you.
My faith in God tells me that the right thing to do is to forgive- and believe me, that has been my struggle for the past five years. Just when I think I can do it, I fail. The bitterness is back, stronger than ever, and I honestly cannot say what I would do if I were to ever see you again.
How much more will be enough for you? How much more do you think I can take? How much more pain do you want to evoke on your family? How much more do you think you can get away with? How much more sympathy do you think people are willing to give to you? How much more?
The other day, I wrote this entire blog about how I've been feeling about my last post. Indescribable anger is how I felt, but in time, the initial anger began to subside. It's ironic that I had JUST felt like I was coming to terms with how my life has been playing out and them BLAM! Each and every time a secret is revealed, it's as if I get the wind knocked out of me- my heart beats faster, my palms get sweaty, my mouth gets dry, and I am left speechless. Before, the tears would be instantaneous and I would be overcome with nausea. I still get the nauseous feeling, but my reserve of tears have almost run dry.
When I learned the news of your stupidity once again, I couldn't believe my ears. For the next few days, the disappointment you caused consumed my every thought. It came to the point where I lost all focus and concentration on work and I began to map out in my head exactly what I would say to you if I were to see you face to face.
But then, I got an email reminder for the concert I would attend- the Spring Celebration featuring Jeremy Camp and the David Crowder Band at Paramount's Great America. I had been looking forward to this concert for over a month! I had bought the tickets before Easter and once Easter and my birthday rolled around, I honest-to-God thought that I could finally and truly forgive the bastard for all that he's put me through. I honestly thought that it was time to move forward. During the concert (which was totally AWESOME!), I thought about you. I thought about how much you needed God in your life, to help turn your life around, to help you make wiser decisions, to give you the strength to swallow that pride, for determination to want to do better and to be a better dad, and above all, the will to forgive yourself. I felt at peace with a lot of things at the concert. To be with so many people who were down for God and to be among those who were praising and worshipping Him at, of all places, Great America, was truly an inspiring feeling and it was exactly the type of spiritual food that I needed for what was to come.
I am a believer that all things happen for a reason. I also believe that God doesn't give you anything that He thinks you can't handle- "if God PUTS you through it, He will SEE you through it." The letter that arrived in the mail hit me like a ton of bricks and again, I was left speechless. In the course of this one school-year, I have had to front and take care of your financial obligations. Why? Because you don't have the decency and the responsibility to take care of what you need to take care of. Maybe you think that you can just "get by," maybe you think that no one will notice. But once a liar, always a liar. Once an asshole, always the asshole.
Maybe the fact that you were terminated from your job is funny to you. Hell, maybe you really don't give a damn. Wasn't it you who said that at least it would give you more time to go back to surfing? So while you're out catching waves and being a beach bum, creditors and banks can't find you. They can't find you because you don't have a forwarding address, but lucky for freakin' me, they have mine. And so, since they can't find your ass, they decide to go after mine. Is that how you saw it working in your mind? Do you find it hilarious that your ass is deep in debt? And what are you doing about it? By golly, dumbass decides to go surf!
I refuse to let your continuous lies and deceit get to me. I was so wrong into thinking that getting your f*cking signature would be a breeze....but since when were things easy when it came to you? That's right, I forget....it's always D-R-A-M-A with you. I've come to realize that even though the marriage was over, the end is so far out of reach..and it's all thanks to you.
My faith in God tells me that the right thing to do is to forgive- and believe me, that has been my struggle for the past five years. Just when I think I can do it, I fail. The bitterness is back, stronger than ever, and I honestly cannot say what I would do if I were to ever see you again.
How much more will be enough for you? How much more do you think I can take? How much more pain do you want to evoke on your family? How much more do you think you can get away with? How much more sympathy do you think people are willing to give to you? How much more?
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