Broken Hearts and Contrite Spirits

Late last night, I had the most wonderful spiritual experience. It involved just God and myself. I know that there are many skeptics when it comes to faith in the Almighty, but when you open yourself to Him, you truly begin to feel Him work within you.

Yesterday's Sunday service was quite an emotional one. One of the longtime members of the church was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. In fact, they had just learned that the cancer has spread quickly to other parts of her body. The elders and deacons of the church scheduled to pray over Auntie Beth and I'm guessing these prayers last about 30 minutes to an hour. Well, it turned out that the pray over lasted about 4 hours! That's a whole lotta praying! They were sharing about those four hours of prayer and how there wasn't a dry eye in the house. People were praying fervently for a miracle for her health, they were praying for each person in our church, and were also thanking God that although we do not understand all the pain that comes into our life, we must be ever so thankful to Him because He knows what is best. Then Pastor Gonzalo (Papa) went up to speak and off the bat, he was downright emotional. He basically shared about thankfulness and how we should use every opportunity to thank God for all that He has blessed us with. He shared that we must always be thankful for our spouses because God has blessed us with another person to share our life with- no matter what mannerisms or bad habits they have, no matter the wrongs they have done us, no matter the problems that come about, etc. It was through God's love for us that this other person is in our life...and of course I do thank God for hubby each day. =) Papa also shared about that he arrived in the States and the first time that he saw snow. As cold as it was, he picked a handful of snow and kissed it, and thanked God for it. It was such a sweet story. Later on while we were all eating after the service, lo and behold, it started snowing! Anyways, with all the messages on being thankful and being more prayerful ("the family that prays together, stays together") and listening and singing to all the beautiful praise music, I couldn't help but feel touched. I really felt God communing with me and yes, 'twas a good thing that I had my handy dandy supply of kleenex in my pockets. I always thought it was sorta funny to see people raising their hands high, simply because I rarely saw that at our church. But when you feel the Holy Spirit working, you're moved to just close your eyes, feel the music, and raise your hands to heaven.

So after the service and fellowship, hubby and I go home and I'm feeling really good about the morning. I felt proud because one of my resolutions was to take some initiative and get to know more people in the church and yesterday, I talked to many people whom I've never spoken to before. The rest of the day goes by, hanging out with hubby, watching TV, doing schoolwork, and whatnot. As hubby and I get ready for bed, I begin to feel something in my heart. It wasn't a pain of any sort, in fact, it's difficult to explain. I have been reading this book called New Believers and it basically talks about steps that "new" Christians can take to live their life with Christ. Some parts I really feel that it doesn't pertain to me- I've always believed in God; it's not as if I was totally converting from worshiping a cow or something, you know? There are many parallels when it comes to Catholicism and Christianity. In any case, I did some reading like I always do before I go to sleep, and there was that feeling in my heart that was telling me something, I'm not quite sure what. Growing up, I have always prayed before I went to bed and in the past few year, I have been talking to God MORESO, than I have before. I usually like to wait til hubby is sleeping, I turn out the lights, and do my thang with God.

I started to feel emotional last night as I started praying. I started to remember the words of the book I was reading that said that there are so many who verbally say they have accepted Christ into their life, but it is only until they have confessed to God their sins that you allow Him in. I got out of bed, went into the bathroom, and all of a sudden, I was crying. I started to pray and then I understood that the feeling in my heart was like an overflowing of emotion in my heart. It's like God was talking to me, but I wasn't listening. I really opened myself to Him, confessed, and I swear, I felt His hands on me. After that, I felt renewed in spirit and that feeling in my heart was changed. It was like a sigh of relief, the "see, doesn't that make you feel better now that you talked with me and let me in" feeling. The moment I accepted Christ, I knew that my life would change for the better, but I have to say that it wasn't until last night that I really and truly let Him in. Just in this day alone, there hasn't been a moment where I didn't get teary-eyed just thinking about last night. I feel like a whole different person...and I'm so very thankful.