"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
- Psalm 34:18

Not sure if I ever mentioned that I subscribe to a daily Bible verse via KLOVE. I've been lazy about updating my sidebar daily, but once in a while, a verse will resonate strongly that I'm moved to change it. The above verse comes at a time when I am being bombarded by anything to do with marriage, love, and divorce.

A few Sundays back, I went to church and the pastor just so happened to be starting up a new series of sermons. This four-week series was entitled "Sex, Marriage, and Singleness from God's point of view." Under that umbrella, there would be four categories that he would focus on each week: sex, intimacy, fidelity, and singleness.
Now I will be honest and say that I have not been going to my church religiously week after week...although my intention is to do so. And when I have been away, there is always this "call" to go back. Yes, I do feel guilty for not attending, but at the same time, I know that I can have my intimate time with God anytime, anywhere. So when I did go back on that particular Sunday, I felt that the message was exactly what I needed to hear.

Point blank: it's difficult for me to talk about marriage and divorce. It's a touchy subject. Even though I may pass it off nonchalantly with a smile, it still hurts something fierce inside. With any emotional pain and hardship, they say that it hurts less with each passing day. Somedays, I don't feel any different from the last.

The sermons have been hard to swallow in many parts and shit, even as I write this, I get somewhat choked up. But it always seems that when difficult and personal topics such as these arise, the pastor acknowledges how there must be so many of us dealing with the very thing. From his standpoint on the pulpit stage area, he has the opportunity to look into the church congregation and see for himself how people react to what he says. I can only guess that he saw many downcast eyes of those who were thinking of their current situations and perhaps, he did see that one lady, whom I heard, trying to stifle her sobs. Or maybe he could see me shift uncomfortably in my seat as I tried to hold back my tears. It's like Jesus was speaking through him to talk to me...almost as if he was reaching out to me through him to speak to me personally. And no matter how crappy I feel about my situation, he's saying that it will be okay in the end.

I missed last week's service because of a family event, but thanks to the internet, I can listen to the audio of the entire sermon. Last week's focused on the last topic: singleness.

Dude...that's me.

Without going into so much detail, the pastor began with the common stereotype that we all have to get out of our heads- that being single is a disease! So many singles get so much flak for not finding "the one" and yah, I can see how people can have that "dang, it's been so long" mentality. But according to the pastor, us singles should view our singleness as a gift and calling...yes, a calling to be single! Comparing married couples vs singles, people with families get easily "distracted" by so many things that they don't have the time to serve God fully, whereas singles, who don't have the responsibility of a family, can have MORE time and dedication to do what He calls them to do. Of course this is not saying that those with families can't serve God, etc, but the main point was that single people have MORE of an opportunity to do work for God.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was experiencing "Ally McBeal syndrome"- am I supposed to live my life alone??? Y'know what? The Bible says NO. We are not meant to be alone; although it said that our singleness is a calling from God, it is but a temporary one. And to some, a very LONG temporary one! But hearing the words, "we are not meant to be alone"...I feel that I was MEANT to hear it and internalize it.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

To truly believe this verse is a major comfort.
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I made it to church today. Once a year, my church hosts an outdoor service at an amphitheater in the nearby park. This was my first one! There really is something about singing, praising, and praying to God outdoors. Again, the messages and faith stories spoke to me. How does HE know that I needed to hear that today? 'Cuz he's AWESOME and ALL-KNOWING!

There was a BBQ following the service (YUM!), but there were also baptisms today. I have to say that each and every time I see a baptism, whether it is in person or in a film/slideshow/pictures, I can't help but feel overwhelming joy for that person. It's making the commitment, it's making that declaration, and it's sharing it with everyone...everyone's story of how they came to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior is different and personal to each, but at the same time, I feel that we all now share that one common bond. Needless to say, I was in tears the entire time! It was beautiful to see young kids get baptized, but two particular people stood out today. One was an 80-something year old lady and the other was a recovering alcoholic. To see and hear about the major shift in their life dedicated to following God was touching and inspirational. I was glad to have made it to service today to see firsthand the beginning of their new lives.

**In case you were interested or curious about any of the topics in that four-week series, click here.