I Thought of You

I thought of you tonight
As the clock struck midnight and the countdown came to an end -
Another day I’ve been dreading has finally come to pass.
I drank some wine to join in the celebration
But it only made the sad and bitter feelings more prominent
And I suddenly wished you were here.

The tears stung my eyes and I tried my best to hold them in -
An indescribable pain struck somewhere from within my heart
And for the briefest moment, I had to step outside of myself just to breathe.
Ringing in another New Year without you didn’t make it any easier than the first -
If anything, it only exacerbated the certainty of our reality
That awaits us in the coming months.

Embraces exchanged with kisses aplenty, coins strewn around with tiny hands grabbing
With camera in hand flashing away, hoping to capture the excitement filling the air -
I looked all around me, surrounded by the people dearest to my heart
Letting the unmistakable feeling of family sink in and settle.
A sensation so overwhelming filled my entire body
And I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone in my life.
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Well, isn't that pretty damn depressing?

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Happy New Year, ya'll. Another year is upon us and all I could say is, "Wow...what a helluva year it has been." Well, seeing that I have not updated this in a while, I'm sure I've lost even my most faithful readers.....(yah J & Rho...I'm talking about you! Lol!). Still trying to tweak the skin...thought it was time to get something new and refreshing to look at. Anything to inspire me to write more.

The holidays have come and gone...and thank goodness it's all over. Now that I am on the verge of going back to work, I am now stressing over all the papers that I did NOT correct over vacation. Shit. Where did the time go? Why do I continue to wait until the last minute? Why do I torture myself and procrastinate?

I will be honest and say that I was quite the Scrooge before the holidays. I was anti-social, anti-party, anti-get-together, anti-family, anti-everything. I definitely wouldn't have made for the best company. But it did me some good. I took the time by myself to think...really think....about my life and all that has transpired. If ever there was a lowest point, I hit it.

I broke out of my anti-everything phase and met up with some friends for a holiday party- and it was exactly like chicken soup for the soul kinda stuff...and then some! It was awesome to reconnect to folks whom I've missed terribly...and okay, all of that wine helped out lots, too! The day prior I splurged on a new haircut...which everyone knows that pampering oneself is something that will ALWAYS make you feel better.

I had prided myself in going out to dinner by myself a couple of months ago- hooray for me 'cuz I've done it more than once now. On Christmas Day, I did what I've been wanting to do by myself for some time now...watch a movie! Not that I fell back into the anti-social phase...I just needed to be myself on that day. Went to watch The Holiday and was surprised because all I knew from the trailers was that it was about two ladies switching homes. Total chick flick, but hey, for the mood that I was in, it was the perfect film for me to see. Oh and okay, Jude Law, that fine, fine, fine-lookin' man made it much easier to get into the movie!

Okay, so now there's Jude Law and well, of course, the men of Il Divo, especially this one...

So yah...haha....a couple of guys like this can make me forget any of my personal woes for a bit!

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So here's something that might tickle your funny bone...a tad long, but read on and enjoy! Hoping and wishing that 2007 will be a bright one for all. Love and peace, ya'll...

SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

Oh, and don't forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.