It's Been a While

I came to your house today and I felt so at home
Even though it's been a while, it's as if I never left.
So many people were there to visit, the same ones every week
And here I was, a straggler, an infrequent visitor.

I've missed you so much, but I think of you often
I've thought about how much I've neglected you without meaning to do so.
With everything that's been going on in my life these days
It's just been easier to stay away.

I made an admission to myself about you, and it was hard to swallow
But I've been upset...angry...mad...and bitter.
I know that I have no right to be because you've given me so much already
And I should be thankful.

I've been ashamed to admit my feelings to you because
It seems like there are not many people who can truly understand.
But I have taken for granted that you know me, inside and out
I have taken for granted that you, too, feel my pain.

As I choked back the tears, I apologized for staying away
And suddenly, my heart felt unburdened and lightened.
Something indescribable inside me stirred
As if my heart was being gently cradled by loving hands.

I don't know where that loss of faith came from
You have been my sole comforter in my times of need for so long.
I wish that I can say that it won't happen again, but I know that it will
And it just reminds me of how weak I am without you.

Thank you for the reminder to have hope amid all of the chaos
And for welcoming me back into your house without question.
I know that it's been a while, but being in your company today made me realize
That I simply cannot live my life without you.