An April Fool's Reflections


Turning 31 has somehow made me feel my age...and I'm okay with that. They say that your 30s are the best years of your life. It's funny because I have probably heard that phrase referring to almost every decade from the teens on up.


Looking back 20 years ago ('cuz egads, I can actually do that!), all I had to worry about was going to school, doing my homework, and making sure that I did my chores around the house. Okay, hold up, let me be real. Those weren't the only worries I had. Being an 11-year old 6th grader was pretty awesome for me. In the beginning of 6th grade, I was seated next to a new student who would eventually become one of my best friends. Sure, we were put together by way of alphabetical order seating, but since day one, we became inseparable. D moved from New York. Even though she was a teeny tiny Pinay, she was one tough chick. She just so happened to be cousins with Vic, the son of one of my mom's friends from PI. I've had the (unfortunate) luck of having to sit next to him for the past couple of years before D came...damn that alphabetical order! Anyways, shortly after, D was at my house constantly. Since we hung out so much, we decided to "explore" the city after school. Explore, meaning, pretend that we were at the library studying when we were really taking BART or MUNI to Pier 39 or hanging out down Mission at Round Table with the rest of the gang. As long as we made it home before my parents got home, it was cool. During the many times I didn't make it home on time, D always saved my butt. My parents loved her 'cuz she spoke Tagalog and for some odd reason, that was enough to trust her. She'd do her cutesy smile and indulge them in conversation and all would be well in the world. But, she didn't do it just to save my butt, she honestly liked my parents as her own.


As frightening as it is to think about NOW, 6th grade was when everyone starting "going" with someone else. Going where, you ask? Hahaha, yes, going out with a boy or girl...as in, going steady. It sounds so old-fashioned, but the whole puberty and hormonal changes were working overtime. Of course, I don't really count any of the "boyfriends" I had in elementary school, but at the time, the drama that came was HUGE! "Couples" would last all of a week, a month, and very surprisingly, a year. Those that ended a week later were sure to "rebound" with another one shortly afterward. It was almost like an episode of Melrose Place...just without all of the sex stuff. Whenever I reminisce about my grade school days, I liken them somehow to the movie Porky's....again, just without all of the sex stuff! It's more towards the group of friends I had back then. In high school, sure I had my girlfriends, but the friends I had in grade school really stuck up for each other. We all had each other's back. It was as if there wasn't anything that we wouldn't do for each other bach then...as young as we were, those were the best kinds of friendships I've had.



Looking back 10 years ago, I would have definitely said that the 20s were the best years of my life. I was a college student living it up. I can honestly say that I had way too much fun in college. In fact, I can only vaguely remember my classes and can vividly recall my PACE years. Sure there were demonstrations and rallies to attend, papers to write, notes to copy, classes to snooze in, and classes to cut, but what I take from my college years is all the friendships I've made and yes, even lost. After graduation, my girlfriends and I would hit the clubs on the weekends. There was a point in time where I felt that we were going almost every week! Egads...I don't think I'd be able to do that anymore. I am pretty much content with spending a quiet evening at home, popping a DVD in, and snuggling next to my hubby. Whereas I would stay out until the wee hours of the morning, I now get sleepy around 10:30pm. And although I haven't consumed much alcohol as of late, I believe that I could still hold my own. The 20s were fun and liberating times. It was in my 20s where my relationships with my family went to hell and back. It was where I went from wanting a relationship with a guy to wanting a relationship with myself. It was where I found so much about the person I used to be, the person I was, and the person that I wanted to become. We always talked about coming "full circle" in everything that we did and looking back, we did.



As I embark another year into the 30s, life hasn't been the greatest...yet. I'm a believer that people have to experience some really bad shit in their lives to prepare for all of the good stuff that is to come. Everyone has had their share of ups and downs, hell, it's a part of life. It ain't called "growing pains" for nothing. Personally, I have touched rock bottom. It wasn't a happy place. It was a dark, gloomy, lonely, and scary place...but I overcame that black hole in my life. From here on out, I can't go anywhere else but up. And as ironic as it may sound, I'm thankful for everything that has happened. I'm also a believer that all things happen for a reason. All of the things that I've experienced in my life thus far has led me to where I am today. It may not be where I originally thought I would end up, but it is here nonetheless. I feel that I've had a hand from above to help me each step of the way and that there's a purpose for each and every little thing that's transpired. Again I say, I'm okay with that.


At one point in a person's life, they have uttered the mantra of "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." I've heard it at graduation and I heard it on my wedding day. But when I say it today, it has a different meaning as, I'm sure, it does to each person at different times. I feel that I'm looking at life with brand new eyes...in fact, I HAVE to in order to move forward in my life. There were times when it seemed impossible and I couldn't, wouldn't allow myself to step away.


One of the things that I love about my birthday (and no, it doesn't involve any April Fool's jokes...I'm SO done with those!), is that it falls around the time of Easter. What an inspiration! The symbolism of being born again to new life...I'm reminded of the science experiment I'd do with my 3rd graders involving the "death" of the caterpillar and how it is later "reborn" into a butterfly. To me, it's all about starting over and being given a second chance.


31 is going to be THE year for me. To do what? I'm not exactly sure, but I'm positive that I'll be led "there" somehow.


Sad Goodbyes


So many deaths in so little time...it's such a sad time in our world today. The passing of Pope John Paul II was overwhelmingly sad. For many like myself, he's the only Pope that we've known. I may not have agreed with all of his philosophies of what the Roman Catholic church should believe in, but he was still a great man. He was called a lot of things, but out of all of them, "peace maker" stands out the most to me. It was sad to see his health deteriorate, but how apropos that he passed during the Easter season. He had a kind and gentle spirit about him and watching all of the news programs and clips of his life brought me to tears. I'm glad that his suffering is done and that he's home now.


Pope John Paul II. Terri Shiavo. It's just heartbreaking really. I also just found out that one of the teachers I worked with at Cornerstone recently passed away, too. I'm glad that I was able to see her the last time I was in CA. Miss Shirley looked so frail from her cancer treatments and yet, there she was working amid all them rugrats over there. I spoke to her about her health and told her that I'd keep her in my prayers, but it's always a shock to learn of someone's passing no matter how expected it is. Miss Shirley worked with my class for the two years out of my three and I was proud of the fact that she said that my classes were good and well-behaved. I'm really going to miss her.


Birthday Shout-Outs


April is just full of birthdays! Just wanted to wish hubby's bro, Kuya G, a happy 41st and dad-in-law celebrated his 69th yesterday, too! VirgoCapri's daughter, Kai, turned 5 last Saturday and my homegirl, Sharon, turns the big 3-0 tomorrow! Welcome to da club, girlfriend!

Oh yah, and last but not least, a Happy Birthday shout-out goes to ME! =)