Just What I Needed


So the deal with me career-wise is that I've really been feeling that teaching may no longer be my cup of tea anymore. Since our move to Minnesota, I haven't had any opportunities to be in a classroom environment. I have forgotten that feeling of being in front of twenty something lil' pairs of eyes eagerly waiting for you to wow them in some way or another. I have forgotten what it feels like to finally get the attention of that one kid who would rather stare at the wall. I have forgotten how it feels to greet and be greeted by eager 3rd graders on a daily basis. I have forgotten the feeling I'd get when I'd hear my name being called in the hallways or the hugs I'd get from former students passing in the halls. I've almost forgotten that choked up feeling I always get when I see all those endless rehearsals for the Christmas show pay off and my kids on stage are perfectly behaved...almost. I've been missing the classroom so much that I feel that if I were to be thrown into one right now, I wouldn't know what to do. It's been too long.


With that in mind, I've been pondering the other things that I might be able to do with my life. But what? There was this ongoing joke that I had with homegirl Mrs. Sharon that if we were to ever leave the teaching profession, there'd seriously be nothing else we could do 'cuz teaching is all that we've been doing. What other skills do I have besides making lesson plans, grading papers, and giving kids timeouts? (oh yah, and making a difference in a child's life!)


A few ideas have popped into my mind as of late:
1) writing a book
2) being a photographer
3) opening up a filipino store
4) reading specialist


Of course there's more to WANTING to be and doing one of these things. For example, I believe that anyone can write a book. But can anyone write a GOOD book? I'm not confident that my writing skills are quite up to par with something that would be considered marketable. The photography bit...well, that idea is still in its infant stages because of the camera that hubby got for me. I have no real background and knowledge of the art of it, but I hope to learn more and experiment more. Just got a book that I have yet to read and tons of websites that I have yet to browse. Plus, do I even have "the eye" for good pictures? Then there's opening up a filipino store. Perhaps that's a lofty goal, so think on a smaller scale. Even though the Pinoy community isn't as huge as that on the Westside, I believe there's definitely a need. Who knows if it would even fly. I guess I was even thinking something similar to Arkipelago Books. Maybe I could even sell things out of my house...who knows. Ahhh...as far as the reading specialist is concerned, well, what it comes down to is more schooling. Do I really want to subject myself to MORE school? With all of the teacher layoffs happening out here, my chances of being a 1st year teacher doesn't seem too promising. There is, however, a big need for specialists such as reading, speech, and special needs. OR, if I was motivated enough to do it, I could even open up my own reading center. Hmmmmm....what to do, what to do???


As I was organizing my cds together, I came across an unmarked one. I popped it in the cd player and it turned out to be a praise and worship cd for kids. 'Twas probably one of the many cds I used during chapel time at Cornerstone. As I sat and listened to these kid sung songs, I started getting teary-eyed! It totally reminded me of how I used to sing with my kids every week in class. Usually, we had chapel time on Tuesdays and Thursdays that included a "songspiration" time. Each teacher from each class would take turns leading...basically, lead in the pledges and sing a couple of songs. Sometimes, I'd have my own songspiration with my own class. I'd have lil' competitions between the boys and girls, and/or which side of the room could sing louder. My last year teaching was especially fun because my group of kids honestly enjoyed singing. Anyways, I sat there and listened to the cd and all of those feelings I've forgotten about teaching came flooding back. I thought about all of the things I missed about teaching and all of the things that I loved about it, too.


Minnesota is, in my eyes, just a whole different way of life compared to CA. I'm still unsure of the path I'd like take career-wise. I wrack my brain thinking of a possible career change. Just the other day, I came across this in a book,

"Is there a desire you like to pursue, but feel it's too late to start? Is there a goal that you long to fulfil or a dream that still tugs at your heart? Then today is the day to move forward in faith and to follow the callings within. For no matter your age or the time that has passed, it's never too late to begin."


After reading that, I felt inspired. I guess I was just feeling down on myself because this past year and a half has been the only time that I have NOT worked. When I think about it, I've been working, full-time or part-time, since I was 14 years old. Yah, so what if I am unemployed right now...I am 3/4 closer towards earning my Masters in Education. How many other people can say that? I was lucky to have earned the experience that I did and to have worked with a fine group of teachers that I did. If, the big IF, I do choose to pursue writing, photography, or something totally different, it shouldn't matter that I'm 30...hey, J.M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan, became a playwright in his thirties and later had a successful career. Why can't I, eh? (btw: if you haven't already, go see, rent, or buy "Finding Neverland?" Two words besides 'awesome movie'---> Johnny Depp!)


That cd brought back so many memories that I think it was what I needed to help me get refocused on the right path. I started a new class today and realized that I'm only 7 units from completing the program. I also signed up for the PRAXIS II tests (teacher requirement tests) for March, two 2-hours tests that cost a sh*tload for real! Maybe it's because the light at the end of the tunnel is becoming a tad clearer now and maybe it's telling me that teaching is still my calling. Either way, I am going to finish up and come out with a teaching certificate and a Masters degree..how dope is that? I wish I could see where my life is headed. It's all up in the air and in someone else's hands right now. I feel that I have bigger plans ahead of me, but until then, I just have to keep my head up.


Birthday Shout-Out


Just wanted to send some birthday love and hugs to my Pops who turns 63 today- Happy Birthday Dad! Love and miss you much...