So, So Proud

Read this and be proud. It's About Time.

I think I've taken for granted just how lucky I've been to have grown up in the San Francisco Bay Area. To be born and raised in such an accepting society and where the color of your skin and the person whom you love and sleep with ain't such a big deal. If you love someone, does it matter that they're of the same sex?

Sure, my upbringing wasn't a totally accepting one at first. Not to say that my parents were freaking racists, but they did and sometimes do have that old skool mentality. I remember back in the day, my dad had some qualms about some of my sister's Japanese friends. It wasn't anything personal- it was the fact that they were Japanese. As in, the Japanese that killed, raped, tortured Filipinos during the occupation in the Philippines. It was wartime and our families and motherland suffered. Who wouldn't be bitter against the "enemy?" Enemy at the time. Yes, that was a long time ago and letting go of that hatred and resentment is a difficult thing. Takes time. If my parents still have any of those feelings intact, it in no way, shape, or form is ever revealed. I felt that my eyes were opened to "the truth" in college. Up to that point, we've been taught that America was this perfect country. It was so high on a pedestal- who were we to question anything of this land of milk and honey? Then comes the Asian American Studies and we learn of the inequality and injustices inflicted upon us, Filipinos, and any other people of color. I began to see America's past in a whole different light and was saddened by the fact that many Americans, aka puti and other ignorant folk, still hold true of those hateful beliefs. So many people have learned tolerance and acceptance that it's such a damn shame that other parts of the country haven't followed suit.

I've no regrets about moving to MN. In fact, this entire move has led me to reflect and learn more about myself as an individual. Who am I as a woman, a Pinay, a daughter, a sister, a ninang, a wife, a teacher, a Christian? In the 9 months that I've been here, I often feel that my head is going to "patok" or pop from all the thoughts that race around in my mind. It's exhausting. I've always felt that I've had some kind of spiritual connection, but figuring out "my place" with God has been a major focus and connecting puzzle piece. It's dope to be down with something you believe in and it really gives your life meaning and purpose. But there's always struggles, isn't there? In my opinion, struggles are life's way of keeping us on our toes.

One of my struggles is the church that hubby and I believe in. Not the church itself, but moreso, certain beliefs and attitudes. More specifically than that, it's the beliefs and attitudes about the gay community. Honestly, it's not so different than the beliefs of the Catholic church that I grew up in and/or the many other Christian churches out there. It's probably due to the voice that the church over here takes on. First and foremost, a bible scholar I'm not. I can't even tell you where in the Bible it says that same sex anything is "an abomination." All I know is that the church is against it. But as recent events come to light about the legality of same sex marriage, I find it irritating, no wait, repulsing is more like it, when the leaders of our church keep pressing the issue that gay marriage is wrong. What happened to acceptance and love for your fellow neighbors? Am I to believe that God and heaven will only allow straight, Christian folk? When it comes down to it, we're all sinners by nature. Leave the judging for the Almighty One is all I'm saying. It may sound utopian to some ears, especially to those who don't even believe in a higher power, but it sounds simple to me. And this isn't to say that I'm the most open-minded person out there. On the contrary. Everyone has their biases in some way or another, but it's really in the way people lead their lives that show off their true character. Don't spout to me about love and acceptance when there's a "but" or "except" in there. Our job, in my strongest of belifs and opinions, is to accept everyone for who they are, no matter what color, race, religion, or sexual orientation they are. There shouldn't be any but's about it.