All This Time...

Last week, hubby and I went to see the doctor. We figured that since we're new to the area we might as well find a doctor, dentist, barber, and all of those other must haves over here. It's been a while since our last doctor visit. As I scheduled these appointments last month, the receptionist had asked what the purpose of our visit would be. My response was for a physical checkup. Yah, that sounds about right. You go to the office, check in, hang out in the waiting room for what seems like hours on end, get called in to a room, wait again, doctor comes in to take your weight, height, blood pressure, makes you take in deep breaths as he lays that cold ass stethoscope on your back, makes you say "Ahhhhhh" and then asks if you have any questions. Routine, right? No, no, no my friends. The "physical" part of the checkup is when the doctor gets, well, physical. We basically got "poked and prodded." Now, as good as it is for our health and all, you can't help but leave the office as if you've been somehow violated. It makes you want to crawl into bed into fetal position! Lol! No one..and I mean NO ONE ever enjoys these annual physicals, if you know what I mean. And if you happen to be one of those people who DO, then you are one sick puppy.

Have you ever tried to make conversation with a doctor or nurse? The weather ALWAYS comes up. "So how is it outside?" I'm prepared with the answer I've already been skilled at giving, "Well, it's cold. It's not the same kind of cold you get in California." Of course, this spawns the whole dialogue of why I'm here in Minnesota, how long I've been here, how do I like it so far and I get the "Oh, I've been to San Francisco a couple of times" etc. Still on the topic of the weather, it never ceases to follow with the "Well, if you think THIS is cold, wait until January or February!" Which to that I respond with, "Y'know? That's what everybody tells me!" Yes, I think this is the only small talk that medical practitioners are capable of having. Take me for example. Everytime I'm told to get onto the scale to get my weight, I always make a crack that "whatever the scale says, it's lying." Hey...I think it's funny! But these people just give you that look that says, "Lady, just get on the damn scale already." Geez...I'm just trying to be funny people! Does a smile exist in that cold, icy, exterior of yours?! Then there's hubby. As he was getting a shot, his nurse "missed" his vein. On her second attempt, she continued to wiggle the needle around to find one! Goodness lady, is that what they teach you in medical school?! But here's hubby trying to be O.A. about it, looking up to the ceiling with pained looks in his eyes, fanning his supposed tears away...ya'll know the look I'm talking about? But I have to say, I don't think he was joking that day...he's got this huge bruise where the needle punctured him- ouch! But nurse lady was trying to comfort him saying that he could take it. People- we're trying to be funny! Ya'll just don't get it- sheesh!

Can I just say though, that I was a bit bummed after leaving the doctor's office? After nurse lady measured my height, she told me that I was 5''2 and a half. I was like, "Um, are you sure?" She responded, "Yes ma'am. You are 5''2 and a half." I made another crack about how I thought after all this time I was 5''3 and a half. An inch less? That's a lot! "Oh well," I said. "I'll just round up." And to this, she didnt' even smirk.

5''2 1/2.....after all this time thinking I was taller. That sucks!