A Night at SFO

I felt a certain sadness tonight at SFO. With much anticipation, we were happy that Mommy was coming home. It had been three weeks since she left for the funeral of Lolo, but it wasn’t until tonight that I felt that reality sink in. We gathered in the terminal and huddled about staring at the television screens wondering when they would make their grand entrance.

Lola rounded the corner first. Seeing Lola in a wheelchair reminded me just how frail she had become in recent weeks. With the death of Lolo still heavy in her heart, Lola also had to deal with the physical pains of the fall that had further weakened her already broken spirit.

The tears in her eyes spoke volumes. She had no desire to be here, but because of a decision made by her children, found herself to be outnumbered ten to one. Clearly, all wanted the best for her, but in reality, Lola would have been much happier back in the Philippines.

She wept silently. When we attempted to distract her with bouts of conversation, she would find that ounce of strength to appease us with a one-word response. She sat in her wheelchair as if she wished, hoped, to disappear into her own little world because being surrounded by so many loved ones was simply too painful to bear.

It was strange to see Lola without Lolo. I was almost expecting him to be one of the stragglers slowly making his way along the terminal corridor. As he would shuffle his way over to us, Lolo would be wearing his usual barong-like button-ups fitted with his staple bolo tie complete with the biggest and most contagious smiles one could ever see. We would greet him with a kiss and he always greeted us with a hug and kiss in return. He would then drape his arm around your shoulder and walk with you like that for a while. And while he would never tell us with words that he loved us, we knew that he did.

But he wasn’t there today…nor would he ever be again. I longed to go back to the Philippines to say my final goodbye and pay my respects. I wanted to be with the entire family…to be there for my mom…and to just let Lolo know that I love him.