It's Been A While....

Yes, so apparently I have the habit of being MIA these days. To be quite honest, it really is out of my hands! Being in my own lil' crib, I have all the time in the world to blog, but danggit, if only my internet connection was on 24/7! Same old story, I know, but limited funds don't allow for me to subscribe just yet. It's ghetto, I know! So if you can imagine, I wake up each morning, head to my laptop, do a little "oh please work, oh please work" lil' chant, and wait those agonizing seconds as the green bar at the bottom of my screen loads. More often than not, it gets to about bar five before that dreaded "cannot display page- please check internet connection" pops up. Hate that shit. It really isn't cool to wake up all anxious like that only to get all frustrated and peeved...gets me swearing up a storm, I tell you! As it is, whenever I DO get connection, I never know for how long the gift will last...lol...and so, let me type away as fast as I can in order to get a posting up....

December Review

School is out for Christmas vacation...thank God! In December alone, we only really had two weeks in session....but those two weeks were pure hell! The last week alone was torture- we had our 3rd Grade Christmas program on Wednesday, our Christmas luncheon on Thursday, and of course, the last day on Friday where all the kiddies are just hyped for vacation to come. 'Tis almost as bad as the actual last day of school...almost.

Christmas programs in itself are a lot of work- so much to prepare, so much practice, and quite honestly, not enough teaching time in the classroom. When I first started teaching, there were six 3rd grade classes. That's a grip of lil' kids, I tell you! But it was also six teachers who each took a responsibility to help make it a success. This year, we have four classes...you'd think it would be easier to organize. You'd THINK. Think again!

I'd rather not get into the details...as it is, the program is over anyways. (Praise the Lord!) But I just had to share the task that I put upon myself. Each year, we've had to borrow costumes from different grade levels and the same old costumes were in rotation. I really don't think these costumes were ever cleaned and it makes me uncomfortable to have my students wear them, know what I'm saying? SO...I took it upon myself and brought the idea up to the other teachers: why don't I sew a whole set of costumes for our grade level? WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Ok...it really wasn't so terrible....and it really is MY BAD for starting the damn project so late. BUT nevertheless, I was able to punch out an entire Nativity scene that included costumes for Mary, Joseph, three wisemen, and three shepherds. Count 'em...EIGHT! Hey...nevermind that I was still staying late afterschool to work with the drama kids......nevermind that I still had to plan activities for my class....and shit, nevermind that I do have a life to lead...HELLO?

AND.....it would've helped if ALL FOUR teachers in our grade level were around to put in some time and effort. 3 out of 4 helps....but dammit, all 4 would've been fabulous. Anyways....moving on.

Even though the Nativity scene took center stage for about 10 minutes near the end of the program, I have to say....they looked GOOD! Let me boast for a sec, but there was a moment during the show when I just stared at how awesome they looked...and I swear, I wanted to give myself a pat on the back! Now let me just say...those costumes are far from perfect. If you looked at the seams and the hems, they were crooked and coming apart. Hell....I did my best at 3am! Seriously though....sleep was something totally foreign to me for those two weeks....and again, let me just say that I'm SO GLAD I'm done.

Another Moment to Share....

Since we're on the topic of MnM being so glad to be on vacation...there was a day where I completely lost it at school. Lost it, as in, I was brought to tears!

Now I've had bad days with my kids.....in fact, I've had some downright shitty days...but NEVER in all the years that I've taught have I been pushed to the limit to tears! I had to leave my classroom and let it out...OMG, it was so bad. I've never felt so disappointed, angry, frustrated, and lost with a bunch of kids before...and that really makes me sad. It doesn't help when I have one kid who equals 10 bad kids.

I can't put one finger on it, on what make me explode and what made me lose it. It could be a combination of everything- the show, lack of sleep, kids not listening- but at the same time, it could be the fact that these kids are just so spoiled. They don't get it! I mean, yes, yes, they are in school so that I could teach them how to be, but shit, it's like they cannot do anything unless it is word for word instruction. It's as if these kids are freakin' spoon-fed at home...and the worst thing is...the kids have their parents wrapped around their little fingers. So conniving! Argh! Oh yes, I forget to mention that I do have some liars in my class (...and I despise liars....), kids who forge their parents' signatures, and kids with the most rotten attitude. Yes, I'm talkin' about 3rd graders here....and it's pushing me to the limit.

Ya'll know I'd never, but some of them just need a good ass-whoopin', if you ask me!

How many more months until the end of school??? Pray for me....

Saying Goodbye....

This past Monday, my family said goodbye to Lolo Buddy. He passed away on Dec. 11th from cancer and various complications. Lolo had been in the V.A. hospital for almost three years now and each time we visited him, it seemed like he was getting worse. Last last Saturday, my mom, two aunties, and my sis came to visit my lil' place and together, we took the 5-minute drive to visit him. We didn't know that it would be the last time we'd see him alive. His body had deteriorated even more since the last time and because of all the pain he was suffering, was on a morphine drip. They tell me that he was also suffering from dementia, but I know that he did recognize us all when we were there. I did have a moment with him and again, I know that he knew who I was...and gosh, I was so very thankful to have that brief exchange with him.

We had gotten word that his health had turned for the worse and that he probably wouldn't make it to Christmas. On Dec. 11th, my mom was waiting for her younger sis to drive her to visit him. But before they headed to the hospital, they made a quick stop at McDonalds for my lil' cousin. They arrived at the V.A. Hospital twenty minutes after Lolo passed....they just missed his final moments.

The funeral was very emotional...and yet, while everyone was sad to see him go, we were all happy to see his suffering end. A few of us were able to say a few words about Lolo Buddy, myself included.

It's always hard to lose a loved one, but especially at special times of the year like Christmas. But his death brought so many family together.....family we rarely see, if but once a year. Instead of being sad over his passing, I am thankful to have had Lolo Buddy a part of my life. His memory will never fade and he will be missed....and I know that I will see him again someday.

Rest in peace, Lolo Buddy....we miss you and love you....