You
...were the first person that I thought of the minute my last conference was over. As I packed my belongings, I automatically reached for my cell to check if anyone had called. For some odd reason, I secretly hoped there'd be a message from you...but why would there be one?
...were the one that I wanted to call this week. This week has been HELL and aside from my friends at work, I wanted to share my frustrations with you. I longed to hear your sarcastic comments about everything and I wanted to feel that acknowledging sympathy that only another teacher could feel. I wanted to ask your opinion on things, but I prided myself in the fact that not once did I call or text you. Why would I?
...were the one that I thought of as I sat in traffic. Driving south towards the Peninsula wasn't as bad as the congested traffic going north. I realized that today was Wednesday and had things been different, you would've been in your truck heading up my way in that very same traffic.
There are days when I miss you like crazy. It sounds pathetic, but sometimes I re-read some of your texts that I saved. It's eerie how one lil' text can bring the exact moment and situation to mind. Then, there are days when I have a "screw you" mentality. Eventually, I try and go about my day as if it's any other day....and then it feels as if we never went out in the first place. I get my "Twilight" moment of when Edward left Bella and says that it will be "as if he never existed." I can't quite put your pictures away and most of all, I continue to wear the pendant you gave me for Christmas.
With February being February, it's been an overall HELLish month. My body has automatically reacted and the result is pure discomfort and indescribably aches.
I'm told to just forget you...but I can't...yet. Honestly? I don't want to.
2 comments:
You can forget because that's the only way to start over. Holding onto history or those hurtful feelings do not benefit you in any way. There is so much more out there than him.
why dwell on the past when there is tomorrow which represents one day more in your young life? what is done is done...why give out hope when it it is the hope that leads to the disappointment and the frustrations? why remember when it is the memories that exacerbate the hurting? why do you keep holding on when it is your own insecurity that longs for a second chance when you should be focusing on more first chances with others? trust in God more than your memories will allow....and you will know what He has in store...
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