It's OPPOSITE Day!

So, I had one of the best weeks ever at school. First off, I was bummed because we would have a short week of school due to a Teacher Inservice. On Tuesday, I couldn't believe how nasty the weather was for our field trip to a local PETCO store despite the many prayers we lifted up. My students ended up whining and complaining the entire day making it one of the worst field trips I've ever taken them on this year.

Before even leaving school, I was completely saddened by the fact that I had to leave a few of my kids behind. But I was proud of the fact that they truly understood the consequences of their behaviors that led to my decision to exclude them from this activity. I was even taken aback at how supportive one of my student's parents were with me and how this dad stood by me. He even decided to share with my entire class and some parents who happened to be in the vicinity about how wonderful of a teacher he thought I was!

The following day, this same father was apparently feeling gracious for my utmost attention to his child that he felt compelled to show me some appreciation. In fact, his manner of thanking me caught the attention of practically the entire second floor letting all who could hear his praises for me. But me, being too humble and embarrassed, had to have five other colleagues to put an end to all of the unnecessary accolades. Feeling a tad overwhelmed, this father continued to share his sentiments with our school principal.

Unbeknownst to me, word spread like wildfire and by the end of the day, teachers came to know about this wonderful parent and have expressed envy of having such a parent. I have to admit, in all of my teaching years, this father has been the most cooperative and most supportive; and having his son in my class has given me so much joy.

I am truly saddened that we've only got 38 more days of school left...

INSPI(RED)

Last July was a major breakthru for me...something inside of me just SPARKED. This spark, along with some whisperings from God, has led me to embark on these ventures that I would never have thought possible before. I will have to say that it started off with an invitation to go hiking. Never having gone before, I was nervous and worried, but after "surviving" the few hours trekking over narrow and uneven terrain, I marveled at the sense of pride that I had for myself because being the city girl that I am, I stepped outside the boundaries of my element to do something different. Using the fear of creepy crawlies and such as my excuse, I've never really been the outdoorsy type. Just ask anyone...is MnM a hiker? Ha! Yah right! Well, after that initial hike, there was just something about the simple (and not-so-simple) act of walking about God's creation. I remember there was this one point in my hike that overlooked the coast and as I scanned the hillsides and the water before me, I was overcome by God's greatness to provide such beauty. For me, when I see something so amazingly breathtaking, I always wonder, "How is it that people CANNOT see or believe in the God who made all of this?"

A few days after that hike was when I decided to train for the NIKE half marathon. A marathon? Lordy...a marathon has never been in my sights before, but again, I felt inspired. I felt compelled to do something different, do something I've never done before, and do it for myself.

After much contemplation, I realized that the reason why I felt so driven to "just do it" was because I was now on my own. Once upon a time when I was married, I depended so much on the hubby...from computer tech stuff to driving places. But since that chapter closed, I knew that I had to step it up and learn how to do things on my own. It's definitely been a learning experience...it's definitely upped my confidence and it's definitely helped me to grow in many areas and be a stronger woman because of it.

As the story goes, I did the marathon, the big D was finalized, and I moved out...all within a year's timeframe! Wowzers!

Now that I've checked those off my list, there is yet another biggie that's been hanging in the wings. It's been calling to me for some time now and to be quite honest, it's the scariest of all. I really want to give of myself and serve on a mission trip.

Last Wednesday was AMERICAN IDOL GIVES BACK night. If you were among the millions who watched, I know that you couldn't help but be touched. I'll tell you, I was in tears for most of the show! Even though I'm so far from being a celebrity, I would so love to do what they do. I want to go to Africa!

Here are a couple of video performances from the evening that stood out for me. I'm not quite sure how I'll get there (meaning to Africa or to a mission trip), but I'm sure God will speak and show me the way in His time...

Daughtry (being introduced by the ever so fine Brad Pitt)


Carrie Underwood


Shout To the Lord
Just for the record, in case you didn't know the lyrics, the song is SUPPOSED to start with, "My Jesus, My Savior..." The idols said "shepherd" instead of "Jesus," but in lots of ways, I can't complain. When I heard that they would sing this song, the first thing that popped in my head was, "Wow! A Christian song is being heard by millions of people tonight!" Much props to American Idol for that...

Another Year Older...Another Year Wiser?

Well, ya'll have heard of the saying before, but there are many times when I KNOW for a fact that it doesn't apply to me. Sometimes us slow folk are bound to make the same old mistakes time and time again. It's a curse, really....or stupidity.

I am referring to, of all things, dating. Two years ago, I thought the idea to be preposterous. Seriously...I was in no position to put my heart out there again...just to get it broken all again? No thanks! But a year ago, I caved in. It was full of so many I-don't-knows and was scary as hell, but took the risk and took the plunge. In the year or so that I've been "out there," I've definitely accumulated quite a few stories...ha, that's putting it mildly! But the latest episode has left me feeling like "...a fool again..." Without going into detail, he was the reason why my birthday didn't end on a nice note...and the fact that I let him get to me like that to make my birthday end on a bad note made me even MORE upset! I saw that cycle happening all over again and the reality of it made me stop dead in my tracks. Why do I always have to make sure HE is taken care of? Stupidity. Seriously.

And so...as dramatic as it sounds, I'm swearing this dating crap off for a while. Yes, yes, it shouldn't be a big deal. After all, you only tend to find someone when you're NOT looking. Hey, 'tis only natural to get the lonelies, right? And this birthday of mine, being the FIRST one where I am OFFICIALLY divorced, got me feeling all yucky-poo. I just miss having someone around...and if he won't be coming from across the pond or otherwise, I'll just have to let God do His work in His time. Sucks that I'm an impatient Aries...

Knee update: it's not as bad as I feared. It hasn't popped out again, in case you were wondering, but I do have to wrap it up and keep it all snug. It's a funky feeling that I can't quite put my finger on how to describe. I actually used a leg brace to work the other day and was quite the picture of "kawawa." It was difficult to move around and to be quite frank, it was tiring. I end up putting all of my weight on my good side, but then that compensation is felt in my lower back. Geez, I'm just all in pain, what the hell?! It really isn't as bad as it looks, but at the same time, I don't want to be hobbling all over the place. Some crazy is bound to notice and try and take me out...hell no...'tis bad enough all of this crap started on my birthday...

Thanks T-Mobile

Not that any of you have noticed because it's been so damn long, I haven't been able to blog on a regular basis for the past few months. I thought that I could really handle not having internet connection on a daily basis...WRONG! Totally fed up, I gave in to subscribing to tmobile service. This now means that I will be frequenting many a Starbucks quite often if I want to connect to the real world now. Ha. 'Tis bad enough that they're taking my money for coffee...now they're taking my money for internet- shit! lol! Sucks though that there isn't a closer Starbucks in my neck of the woods, but hooray for the 24-hours ones!

Well, this has been good practice for me. I just re-read what I wrote and really, ain't nothing too important to share, but wow, I've missed writing. The good thing is because I don't have internet, I've been given all this time to run/train for the marathon and my favorite, read.

Hope all is well with everyone...thank goodness for blogs because I swear, it's the only way that I get to catch up on everyone's lives.

Curious: to facebook or not to facebook...that is the question...

A Fool's Birthday

Ah...'tis a long time since I've blogged. If you've seen my myspace, you may have seen that I am "hiding under a rock." Ha...no joke. My last updates have included lots of venting and complaining about work. It's been a tough year. But I vow here and now that I will try my best to keep it to myself for the risk of sounding like a broken record. Plus, I've only got 10 (count 'em!)... TEN MORE WEEKS TO GO!

Well, first and foremost, thanks to all for all of the birthday wishes- all of the texts, voicemails, e-cards, and emails...straight from the heart, it made my day.

But I wish that I could say that it was all good...'cuz it wasn't. My day at school was, surprisingly, fun and enjoyable. My 3rd graders were good, I got lots of love, cards, and hugs from my 4th graders, and I even got an ice cream cake and pizza lunch (thanks Ethan's Mommy and Helene!).

What would've made my day almost perfect would've been my evening...instead of my original plan that included an Irish twist, it ended with me wandering Stonestone all upset, grabbing dinner at El Burrito on Taraval, and tweaking my knee. WTF?

Let's backtrack for a sec...on one of many flights back and forth from da city and Minnesota, there was an incident where the patella in my left knee popped out...POPPED OUT! There was literally a loud "POP!" before I collapsed. My knee swelled up and I was put in a leg brace for about three weeks. Nothing was broken, just more misplaced to be exact. It was painful and sore for a bit, but being in an leg isolation brace did the trick...thankfully it was on my left side and so I was able to drive.

So...as I began my downhill trek of the last hours of my birthday (which, by the way, I FELT different...the last time I felt "different" was when I turned 25...*sigh*...feeling old...), I was left to my down devices and my expresso burrito dinner. I was able to catch the last few minutes of American Idol and I settled in to enjoy "Dancing with the Stars."

I don't know about you, but I think all of the dances are pretty challenging! In my own world, I'd like to think I'd make a decent ballroom dancer...not sure how I feel about the not-there attire, but yah, I've got some rhythm to pass around- lol. Or so I thought! 'Cuz while MnM was feeling all confident about that very thing, she decided to try her hand (and feet!) at the fast paced quick step of the JIVE...(and why she is writing in 3rd person is beyond me...). So there I am in my lil' teeny tiny living room watching my lil' teeny tiny tv...I'm dressed up all cute in my not-so-comfy-but-totally-cute boots (because remember, I supposedly had plans....), and as I am goofily trying to copy the fancy footwork of the jive, I felt an owie. I didn't HEAR a pop, but I definitely felt something.

So I sit down to eat thinking that the pain is that of a normal 34-year old (EGADS!) and I notice a slight swelling in my knee. I try to walk around (because that's what I tell my students when they fall and get hurt..."walk it off, walk around and you're good!"...), but again, it doesn't feel right. Getting a wee bit nervous now, I iced it with my frozen veggies...

The swelling IS cause for concern simply because it's happened once before, but even moreso, I have been keeping up with my running. (*OH...just wanted to share that I am among the 20,000 randomly chosen to participate in NIKE's Half Marathon happening this October...whoo hoo...cheer me on!) I'll let you know what the doctor says...

What a way to end my birthday, eh? As "painful" was it was (in more ways than one as many of you know...), it's actually more embarrassing. Can you just imagine the conversation?

"Omigoodness, what happened to your knee?"
"Well, I was watching 'Dancing with the Stars', see? And I thought I could do the jive..."

Yah...really impressive...lol...it's almost like a really bad April Fool's joke...

Well, happy birthday to ME! Despite the angst and drama, I am truly thankful for yet another year. It's been a LONG journey to getting back on my feet, but I'm definitely on my way...with or without the luck of that damned lil' leprachaun...

How did I splurge for my birthday aside from cake, ice cream, and going to the beach? Well, I went to Borders and bought a whole bunch of books for my ever-growing library of course...DUH! ;-)

Go Ahead and Roll Your Eyes...

Oooooh...and one last thing I wanted to share ('cuz I really and genuinely got excited!)...

Guess who is having a REUNION tour after 20 years???

Noneother than....




That's right, NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK! lol! All I gotta say is there ain't nothing wrong with going down memory lane and reliving the 90s that were so fabulous in my mind! WERD!

Happy St. Paddy's Day!



*Just thought ya'll would get a kick outta this pic! Hope you all wore green today...I may not be Irish, but my affinity for all things Irish as of late would not let me risk getting pinched for not wearing the green.

Called Back Again...
2.22.08

The road that I've been traveling on lately has been rough. It seems like every twist and turn puts me in a loop for another bumpy ride that, as of late, leaves me tempted to go any further. The situation at school with my special kid has been taking a toll on me in the sense that I feel that I am failing him. I feel that there should be something more that I could do, but so far, I've only managed to totally piss off his dad. I could care less whether or not the parent likes me or not, but when we cannot meet on common ground for the sake of what's best for his child or when I can't get a word in edgewise because he constantly interrupts me, then I lose my patience big time.

Taking 2007 for what it was, the year had me focused on one thing - my divorce. It left me anxious, stressed, and torn for way too long, but when it finally became official, I felt like my second life began. But as life kept going, as I knew that it would, somewhere along the line, I stopped going to church. It wasn't a conscious decision; rather, it was more like me making excuses for being so tired from school that kept me away. When I moved to my place, my excuses became lamer as I blamed the distance as the reason for not attending Sunday service.

But God always has a way for calling people back. For me, there's been a tug in my heart to go again. I can't quite explain it, but I believe that without a doubt, it's God speaking.

There's something about working in a Christian school that is already a comfort and knowing that I can discuss God without fear of losing my job is wonderful. But with the stresses that come my way, it's easy to lose sight of God, even in the midst of a place where I'm surrounded by Him. It's like that saying where one can feel so alone in a crowded room. But there is that silver lining in the clouds that comes in the form of some really great friends at school. My coworker/friend H has been somewhat in the same boat as me- wanting to go to church, but not having the time or motivation to go. On our usual Friday Starbucks run after work, we shared how we both missed attending service. We finally decided to get off our asses and go together. Having the company is such a great support. We attended a church that she's gone to prior, but to be quite honest, I wasn't feeling it. The subject of discussion that morning was sex, but if you were sitting with us in that sanctuary, you would've seen how extremely uncomfortable the pastor was during his sermon. To me, it was ridiculously hilarious to the point that I stopped listening. Not once did the pastor look into the congregation, but rather kept his eyes glued to the side walls. It looked as if he couldn't wait to crawl under the covers of his bed! I didn't feel his message come through and the energy of the church body wasn't there. H felt the same way. We decided to give my church in Foster City a try the following week...and wow, what a difference.

Three weeks ago was the first time that I've been back since before Thanksgiving. It's been that long, but boy, was it good to go again. It wasn't difficult to feel His presence because as it has been said before, God is always there, it's really just up to us to let Him into our life. My heart cried out and it was like coming home to the place where I belonged. I go through this bit where I beat myself up for not having gone and yet, I know that there are times when I have to be away so that I could be called back again.

With this challenging year at school, this is the time when I should be asking Him for more grace, more patience, more understanding, and more love. Our church had a guest praise and worship band: Ryan Morgan. They sang Chris Tomlin and David Crowder songs and the whole sanctuary was up on their feet- they were so awesome! Ryan Morgan leads praise and worship at New Life Church in Alamo and quite honestly, I was just blown away. (...and just had to mention that the bass guitar player is a cutie...lol). The band had a cd available at the end of service and it's all that I've been listening to, day and night, since then. But the fact that I was there at that service when this praise band performed, it was almost as if I was meant for me to be there. I was meant to be a part of that praise and worship time and I was meant to hear his words and songs. Moments like those are, in my opinion, the works of God. He makes all things possible and when I take the time to truly let that sink in, to think of all the blessings that He makes possible in my life and others, I feel so thankful.

I'm inspired. My soul needs feeding and I am craving it more than ever now.

So all praise and thanks goes to Him for calling me back...because He knew that I had to be away so that I would WANT to return. No matter what the circumstances happening in my life, personal and otherwise, I am humbly reminded that if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it...

Random Happenings

*Read "Atonement" by Ian McEwan...loved the book. Watched the movie and loved it even more. The story is set in the 1930's on the brink of WWI. Basically, a younger sister witnesses from her bedroom window an exchange between her older sister and the son of a house servant whom she's known her whole life. Being 13-years old and not fully understanding the situation, misconstrued ideas fill her mind. There is the feeling of unease, disillusionment, and confusion. The budding romance of her older sister is quickly taken as something dirty and unacceptable. Other circumstances building up to the separation of the two young lovers are based on this one girl's accusations and again, her misunderstanding of adult situations. The movie takes us into the horrors of WWI and the romantic awkwardness of these lovers meeting during a brief military leave. The love is real and genuine. Your heart breaks for them because of the time that separated them for too long and the fact that they did nothing wrong but declare their love for each other.

The movie holds true to the book giving it a few twists and turns. Both the movie ending and the book ending leaves the reader well satisfied, but in different ways. Keira Knightly is her beautiful self...I really dig her as an actress. She just needs to grow some meat on her bones- she’s so dang skinny! And can I just say how FINE James McAvoy is? I’m in love with Mr. Tumnus- lol! If you haven't seen the movie, do yourself a favor and read the book first...two thumbs up from MnM!

*Had a mini get-together with the gang this past Monday. When I say "the gang," I really am referring to the "Get-Along-Gang" crew! It's a nickname that was bestowed unto us lowly freshman at SF State and stuck. There were originally eight of us: Keyopes, the Weekender, JeannieB, Ana, Pete, Dr.C, Marlon, and myself. We were the fresh blood of PACE and because we were the newbies, we automatically stuck together. We hung out at the office, ate lunch together, lounged in the pyramids, and skipped school to gallivant around the city. Good times, good times! The following year, Nickyboy and lil' bro Phil joined our lil' crew...with Josemryosp, JP, and Mrs. Voodoo in tow after that. From there, we were always known as the Get-Along-Gang..parts one and two, depending on when you came in. Lol...yes, yes, 'twas our little clique of sorts! It's funny because there will be some folks who claim to have been part of our group. We didn't exclude people (on purpose!), but really, we were just a tight group of friends. Today, some 16 years later, we still get together whenever we can. Now, not only is it the crew, but it's with significant others and families! It really is awesome to see how we all "grew up" and how life turned out for all of us.

Many of us live in different parts of the Bay Area...some of us moved further away (hello Minnesota!) and as of late, lil' bro Phil moved down south to San Diego. He was up here for President's Day holiday and some of us got together for dinner. We ate at Thai BBQ in SSF and as always as it is when we get together, it was good food, good company, and good times.

On a side note, we learned that Dr.C and wife are expecting! Congratulations you guys! And the day of our dinner happened to be the one-year anniversary of Kuya Sam's passing...may you rest in peace. I still miss you...

*Been hanging out with F for coffee lately. To be quite honest, it's been real cool to have a friend of the opposite sex again...hell, it's just been good to hang out with a friend again! I think that's what we’ve both been lacking in our lives lately. It's funny as he offers me insight to my world of dating and how I tease him about the age gap of him and his lady. The fact that we ran into each other after so many years is a trip and how convenient that we live so close to each other! He's a really good guy and a good friend...I feel that he's got my back and I know that he's someone I can turn to. Hope he knows that it goes both ways. It got me thinking about the last guy friend that I had and wow, it somewhat saddened me because it was the hubby.

Speaking of...I hear that he's in the East Coast now. A part of me still hopes that he will come clean with me one day and take responsibility for the financial obligations that I was left with. I imagine getting a phone call or an email saying, "Hey MnM...I packed up your library of books that you love so much and your photo albums...can I send them to you?" or even better, "MnM, I know you had to take care of our bills and deal with creditors while I was out of work and yes, I know it was hard as hell to get back on your feet, but now that I'm working, let me finally take care of my end of the deal." A fantasy maybe? Sure. I won't keep my fingers crossed, but wow, if that happened, what a turn of events that would be. In any case, I still wish him well and hope that he's getting on in life...

*Last tidbit on school…I woke up late the other day and didn’t have time to straighten my hair as I usually do in the morning. I was forced to go to work with my uncontrollable waves. I was really self-conscious about it because I’ve never left the house like that and well, I just can’t stand it. Why was I not blessed with straight Asian hair? Lol! Anyways, my 3rd graders couldn’t care less. Geez…that’s just about with everything else that I do with them…but that’s a different story altogether. BUT, some of my students from last year, the 4th graders now, were the ones to take notice.

WK came up to me and said, “Miss MnM…something is different about you today. It’s your hair! What did you do?”

MnM: “It’s called, “I-woke-up-late-and-didn’t-have-time-to-fix-my-hair.” Lol…why, is it THAT bad?”

WK: “No! It’s curly…I like it!”

WK and some of my last year’s boys come up to me on a daily basis to say hello and give me a hug. The other day, I was “serenaded” with an EMO song- lol! They said they watched a youtube video and wanted to share it with me… ‘twas something about “E is for the emotionally disturbed and M is for miserable people…” What are kids watching nowadays? It was hilarious…..sweet….but hilarious! Such a difference between last year’s class and my current class…lunch period is probably one of the highlights of my day because of those boys. Love ‘em!

….quick question…

In your opinion, is 23 years old too young for me? Lol….

Gong Hay Fat Choy!

Happy Chinese New Year, all! Yes, yes, I'm not Chinese (although I have been mistaken to be many times...), but I'd thought I'd wish you all happy beginnings for the start of the Year of the Rat.

Unlike most people, I had the day off today. Why? I work at a Chinese school...simple as that. Get this...I have to go back tomorrow! This seriously doesn't make sense. Would it have killed them to give us a three-day weekend? Unfortunately, I didn't have the pleasure of truly enjoying my day off because I had a date with a dentist. No, no, nothing like that. Lol! First of all, my dentist is a woman. 'Tis more like I had to get a root canal. Something that's been put off for way too long and seeing that I had this huge hole in my tooth...well, yah, had to get it done. Thankfully it wasn't as painful as I anticipated...

The Week That Was...

I'm sounding like a broken record...but I really can't wait until summer vacation. I'm having a really tough time with my class this year and yesterday took the cake. My problem kid threw a tantrum...and this time, he got physical with me. There was a point where I actually thought I was going to have to tackle him down if he started throwing punches. This kid has some serious anger issues, among other things. But if you can imagine a raging bull about to charge a matador, that's him. His stance becomes rigid, his hands tightly clenched cocked back and ready to pound, and his eyes have this uncontrollable, almost evil glare set on me. He even sounds like a raging bull complete with the heavy breathing and panting. I braced myself for a hit that never came; instead, he resorted to pushing and nudging. At least he didn't dig his heels into my foot like he did to the afternoon teacher. This is definitely something that I am not equipped to handle, but when he gets physical with the other kids in this fashion, I step in with whatever I got. In any case, I am going to meet with my principal and figure out what can be done for this kid...he needs special attention, but unfortunately,I don't think I can give him what he needs.

Got to watch a free screening of "Fools' Gold" with a co-worker friend of mine. For FREE, it was okay...entertaining...but not a flick I'd pay for. We were reminded of our college days when we'd get to catch all of these movies shown at McKenna Theater of Jack Adams Hall, how we'd make the mad rush to grab some seats, and just enjoy whether or not the movie was any good. Who cares...it's FREE! 'Twas cool to hang out with Kam and dinner at Pomodoro's was yum as well. Other than that, life has been okay. The weather in the Bay has been C-O-L-D. Saw a break in the weather the other day and went for a run...only to be caught in a passing shower. Got totally soaked and by the time I reached home, the rain suddenly stopped its downpour and the sun made an appearance yet again. Impeccable timing.

Been hanging out with various friends here and there...and life has been good. All I can say is good times....good times.

More updates later...gotta go correct papers for tomorrow...

I Gotta Admit...

*...that I had a pretty good day at work today...and it was all because ONE student wasn't there. My "challenging" kid has been living up to his reputation and while I am trying my damndest, I don't feel that I'm handling him very well. He makes me want to tear my hair out and 9 out of 10 times, he is the reason why I am not having a good day. He makes me doubt my skills as a teacher because I feel that I am failing him. He's had a traumatic early childhood, but when he acts up and gets physically violent and defiant, I lose my cool. But without him in the classroom today, so much was accomplished...and today was a good day.

*...I'm getting old! Lol...yes, yes, it happens to us all, but damn, I am SO feeling it! I've got aches and pains all over my body and I just realized something...my hair is graying! I've had a bad back for years, but when the weather gets cold like it's been, even a double dose of Motrin can't help. Last night I had a pounding headache, achy back, and my knee...remember how the kneecap popped out? It's been feeling funky lately. And the latest thing...I think I may have carpal. My wrists and forearms feel tweaked and I can't even open a water bottle without wincing. Feeling old...

*...I am a sucker for Irish accents...so much so that it may get me in trouble. I just don't want to go down that path that leads to nowhere but heartache...lol...if I should even call it that! I'm pretty sure I'm on a one-way street all on my own, but sometimes I can't help myself. S-U-C-K-E-R.

*...I really enjoyed my Starbucks today...along with the company. It was great to catch up and compare notes, so to speak. But more than that, I gotta admit that while I'm glad you are "ridiculously happy" in your life right now, a part of me was somewhat disappointed. Can't quite explain, but nevertheless, it was great to see you...looking forward to hanging again soon.

Blast From the Past

In a span of one week, I've either received a phone call, a text, or have run into someone that I haven't seen in a helluva long time! That saying of "everything happens in threes" rings so true!

- Got a call from 'Part2'...lol...my original "Summer School" twin! Even though she moved from the Bay years ago and despite us losing touch for years at a time, whenever we do get back in touch, it's as if time never passed. We catch up on each other's lives, but our closeness has never wavered and it's as if the two best friends from elementary school never parted ways. Sometime in the summer, I got a call from her cousin, also an old classmate of mine, and he did tell me that she was expecting her second child. We made plans to meet up, but our plans fell through. But he did pass my number to 'Part2', but it was only last week that she got a hold of me. In the 30minutes or so that we talked, I told her about my divorce and she told me about her new baby girl. Again, one would never guess that it's been years since we last spoke. Coincidentally, she called me today to let me know that there's been a death in her family. She'll be coming to the Bay for the funeral, and though it's under such sad circumstances, it will be great to see her again.

- For the past couple of weeks, I've been getting these random texts and I've been clueless as to whom has been sending them. They'd never be personal texts to me; rather, it'd be forwards. I finally had to ask, "who is this?" because I was curious and it turned out to be a friend of a friend who happened to change cell numbers. Apparently, I didn't make the mass email/text when the changes were made...lol...mystery solved!

- When it's been years since you've last someone, you're not quite sure if it's truly them unless you hear someone utter their name...or in my case, unless you see their nametag! Ran into F while I was shopping and as I stood in line, I couldn't help but stare. Was it him? Was it not? As he passed me, I took a quick glimpse at his nametag and at the same time, he noticed me and did that whole, "Hey! I know you!" thing. It was a trip because as I was talking to him, I kept thinking, "This fool does NOT remember my name!" Lol! It was very cool to run into him since the last time was from my SF State days...'tis always fun to think back to those college days and how we were all young and stupid...but now that we're older, it'll be cool to catch up and see where our lives have taken us thus far.

MyKidz

When I think of my current class, I get bummed. Why? Because it's so long until summer vacation! Damn, that's awful! It's not that I don't love my students...because I do. It's just that I'm having a hard time LIKING them most of the time. There's a difference.

We just had a field trip to City Hall and the Main Library downtown. Thankfully, the weather was cooperative and no one got lost or sick. A few students were left behind because they had missing assignments...and of course, I had to deal with their angry parents afterwards, but that's another post. But see, to ME, I believe that field trips are a PRIVILEGE. They are such a great learning tool and an experience that I wish every kid could participate in. I LOVE the opportunity for these kids to have a taste on the world outside the safety of our school walls...because A LOT of them are so sheltered...and egads, so spoiled. But still, these special trips are reserved for the kids who work hard and who deserve it. Maybe I'm being harsh here, but if you can't turn in all of your work, if you don't turn in your permission slip and money by the dealdine, if you are causing trouble ALL THE TIME, my policy is that you WILL be left behind.

But see, it doesn't end there. While we are on the field trip, I still expect my students to follow the rules. Yes, they are excited and whatnot, but still. And then for these very same kids to COMPLAIN about little things is beyond me! I see it in their diva faces...the world revolves around them...and they DESERVE whatever it is their heart desires.

Sorry...with that kind of attitude, I've no problem shooting you down. Plus, when I see you treating your parents like c-r-a-p, talking back, and even blaming them for your stupid and careless mistakes, I WILL PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE. Shit...when did 8-year olds get free reign over their parents??? While I will never, ever place a hand on a child in anger, it doesn't stop me from thinking that some of the kids nowadays truly deserve a good-ass whoopin...hands down.

Anyways...the field trip itself was incredible. I never tire of visiting City Hall. It's such a magnificent and beautiful historic building...and the day that we happened to go, it was being prepared for a Gala Ball to commemorate 75 years of the San Francisco Ballet. City Hall is called the "People's Palace"...and I couldn't help thinking that it would be almost like a fairytale to attend an elegant evening there. How corny, I know! Just walking down the grand staircase in the domed rotunda would be almost dreamlike...lol...ok, I'll stop. Aside from me enjoying the beauty of City Hall, my class was "ok." They don't impress me much...and I don't think they really care to. That sucks.

How many more months of school???

In No Particular Order...

Seems like ages since the last time I posted...and it's not because there hasn't been anything blog-worthy to share...it's more like the "I should really subscribe to my own internet service instead of relying on a connection to some random neighbor.." Lol. And because I am never sure of how long I will be connected, here's a quick run-down of what's been goin' down with MnM in the past few weeks in no particular order.

Some birthdays have come, gone, and are quickly approaching. Quick shout-outs to Chelle, Ana, Ethan's Mommy, Nico-man, Soleil in MN, Jadon's mama, MY mama...and for tomorrow, my dad and Mr. Kam. My Lolo's 93rd is coming up and so is Bina who's turning 11...wow, how quickly she's grown up! And if Kuya Sam were still with us, he would've turned 38 on the 21st...I miss you much, rest in peace...

The weather has been up and down, rainy and windy, sunny and clear, but always bone-chilling cold in the night. Thankfully we haven't had any terrorizing storms as of late and I can only hope that we're done with 'em. I've succumbed to being that sucker for not making it out to the beach for a walk/jog because of the cold, BUT I did buy myself a balance ball so I could still get my exercise on at home. Unfortunately, I got hit with body aches, headaches, coughing, sore throat, and runny nose earlier in the week...went to work ANYWAY, but paid for it midweek. Had to go home early on Tuesday and was out the entire day on Wednesday. I nursed whatever I had with chicken soup (thanks Mom!), tea, NYQUIL (knocks you the f-out!), and good ole' fashioned (and much needed)sleep. I must've been out for 20+ hours! I'm good to go and I'm up and about now...being sick SO bites.

School has been...gosh, what's the word? Um...challenging. I haven't been feeling the love lately...not sure if it's the love of teaching that's waning or if it's the kids. As tough as my kids have been in the past and despite the not-so-good days, I've always felt a connection with my kids early on in the school year. But as it is- five months now- there ain't one to speak of...and it saddens me. I don't feel like I'm getting through to these kids and to be quite frank, 3/4 of them are spoiled with bad attitudes up the wazoo! I had two really bad weeks in a row- not one day was a good one- and I just got fed up. Last Thursday, the entire class practiced being silent. That's right, S-I-L-E-N-T. Plus, they had so much work to do that they didn't have time to speak. Call it harsh punishment or whatever, these kids deserved what they got and all I gotta say is that they had better learned from it. Or else. Can you believe it, but I'm already looking forward to summer vacation?! (*On one of those bad days, I got a call from Nico. His mom didn't know he had called me, but here we were having the funniest conversation! He had called to see how I'm doing and to tell me that he missed me. Aw, did I feel loved or what?! If only he knew how much his call cheered me up! Love that kid!)

In the news: the Sunset! Yessir, my hood has been making it on the news as of late. Sometime last week, there were two incidents involving the MUNI streetcars- 1) a car was hit as it was backing out, apparently didn't notice or see the approaching streetcar...nevermind that it's BIG, LONG, LOUD, and ORANGE...2) a man fell off the boarding area, got caught underneath, AND was dragged for twenty blocks....TWENTY! And here's my most recent that freaks the hell outta me- a body of man was found covered beneath some sand at Ocean Beach. If ya'll are familiar with the parking lot, you know that they are numbered. Well, the body was found closest to #17...nevermind the fact that is the exact spot that I pass each time I go walking. Gives me the creeps...OH, and just the other night, the familiar sounds of the police helicopters were roaming above, probably with searchlights on. Nice.

Other random stuff...bought the cutest boots at DSW only to find out that they're not the most comfortable. (and yes, I DID try them on and walked around in them at the store!) My Apu is in the hospital AGAIN. Seems like she's been in and out every month... Been watching a bunch of DVDs lately: Bend It Like Beckham, A Lot Like Love, Shakespeare in Love, and Malena. Finished reading the Darlington pick, "Eat Love Pray." A tough memoir to stomach because of the issues with divorce and love of self...it was almost as if I was reading about myself in many parts. I also reread "God's Blogs" because it's a quick read and yet, its short excerpts speak volumes. I've just started on "Atonement," but I'm getting impatient because I want to see the movie already. Attended Michael's art showing at BacioCafe last Sunday bringing along with me Jen, Andrew, and son Joshua. Had my unfortunate nightmare again that had plagued me for so long in the past...wondered WHY and WHAT triggered me to have it...and decided it was because I had to pay yet another final invoice to my freakin' lawyer AND the fact that it's been a year since my townhome in Woodbury was foreclosed. Speaking of home, my lil' place is getting cozier and now that I've got myself a microwave (it's red!), life is good. Lastly, I'm still fascinated by all things Ireland and fancy myself going there and having a romantic love affair with a pub singing local with the accent that just melts my heart, but for now, the dream must be set aside for the time being. Sometimes the saying, "We'll always have what we had" just doesn't cut it, but if it's all there is to it, then I guess it'll have to do...

Ho-Hum Weekend

I hope ya'll are keeping dry, safe, and warm during these stormy days. Da Bay has been hit with monster rains and intense winds powerful enough to split and uproot trees. The damage of the aftermath near my neck of the woods is eerie- branches scattered everywhere, gigantic trees split down the center, and leaves covering the roads like freshly fallen snow.

Friday morning's drive to work practically gave me a stomach ache. It reminded me of the Minnesota winters and traveling in the snow. Not only was I decked out for the weather (heavy jacket, boots, gloves, scarf, and hat), but driving in the torrential rain gave me the same exact feeling as we'd travel down those slick snow-covered roads in Woodbury, MN. Being surrounded by frozen lakes on either side of the road, my stomach churned with anxiety and with fervent prayers that we would make it safely to our destination. All it would take was one slip that could send our car sliding out of control off the road and into the lake. Of course, if the lake wasn't completely frozen over, then into the bone-chilling water we would go! This worrisome feeling, this panic-stricken paranoia, this fear of a tragic slow death by drowning consumed me to the point where I would feel sick to my tummy. It never failed each time we ventured out...and this is how I felt last Friday on my way to work. Okay, so I'm not surrounded by frozen lakes, but the trees that line the sides of the roads hovered ominously. Their branches were swaying so violently that I was half-expecting all of them to crash down...which some of them did! My prayers during my lil' commute was this: "Please God, let me get to work safely...don't let any trees crash down on my car...please let the tread of my tires be okay so that I don't spin out of control...and please get that ass in back of me to stop tailing me!" Thankfully, I did get to work safely and on time.

The storm didn't let up for the entire day and for many parts of the Bay, that meant no electricity. Fortunately, loss of power didn't affect my fam or me, but we were prepared. Despite the rain, I went to Target after school. As I was browsing, I happened to pass by the flashlight section and it was completely wiped out! Empty!

Saturday's storm was horrid, but in the afternoon, we were treated to a short reprieve. Although the temps were still ass-biting cold (lol...Sis, you like that? Thank Jane for me for that one!), I headed to the beach to check out the waves. My weatherbug was been blinking every so often since yesterday and it warned of high surf and possible flooding. The Great Highway was closed and it was neat to see runners and bikers alike taking advantage of all the free space. (Oh, and just a sidenote: I am not a hardcore runner, nor do I desire to ever be. In fact, I am trying to get out of that mode where the cold weather deters me from walking at all. It's painful at first...having that cold wind in your face and having it cut through your body, but once you get warmed up, the pain slowly dissipates. I often get that guilty feeling when I've decided NOT to go and then I see all these people running their hearts out. But did I feel that guilt seeing hardcore runners out in the storm? Running in that pouring rain...it's maddening, really! It's freaking H-A-R-D-C-O-R-E, that's what it is! But as much as I'd like to continue getting in shape, running in a storm and risking pneumonia is not a priority...) I'll tell you, I love living so close to the beach and hearing the waves is just so calming...BUT, when they say monster waves, they aren't kidding! It's pretty scary....AWESOMELY so. But as I marveled at the sun breaking through the clouds (and after taking a few pics!), I thought about the movie, "The Day After Tomorrow" and how we were in the eye of the storm. With global warming and its adverse effects, the reality of that movie is, in my opinion, a huge possibility. I could go on about that, but I'll save that for another post...

When it's cold and dreary out, all you want to do is stay in bed and cuddle underneath the covers, right? After some hours of putting together a microwave cart and rearranging my kitchen (I don't want to get into that right now...lol), I threw in "Bend It Like Beckham." I've never seen this before, although I've wanted to buy it for sometime. All I knew was that it was a movie about soccer (football!) and how an Indian girl defies her family for her love of the game.

I LOVE this movie! Not only is it a girl empowerment movie, but for many other reasons, too: 1) it has Keira Knightly...I dig her!, 2) the producer is the same one who did "Bride and Prejudice"...there's even a Bollywood scene, too!, 3) they show parts of England and Germany...Europe, a future destination for me, 4) all the soccer/futbol scenes is inspiring...makes me want to run laps (NOT in a storm...) and do situps! and lastly, 5) Jonathan Rhys Meyers...hubba, hubba...the coach from Ireland (helloooo!!!)with the s-e-x-y accent...need I say more?

(I mean...I COULD, but I won't...). LOL...yah, it's official...I'm crazy!

"I’m pregnant…pass the potatoes."
(Molly Ringwald in 80’s flick "For Keeps")

First of all, NO…I'm not talking about myself. Good Lord.

It was the funniest thing. During lunch the other day, my co-worker was telling us about an upcoming event for the 3rd Grade including all the paperwork involved when all of a sudden, without changing her tone of voice and seemingly continuing her train of thought, blurted out that she was pregnant. It was so unexpected that we all had to do a "Huh? What?" double-take of sorts. As we then began to grasp what was said and excitedly started asking questions, she pulls another one of us by saying, "I'm having two." TWINS! Wowzers!

I have to step in here for a sec. I mean, while I do understand that everyone has different personalities, this is so NOT what I'm used to. I had this similar discussion with BFF as I was there when she announced to her family that she, herself, was expecting. BFF's hubby has just graduated and I was invited to the family shindig. We were at a restaurant, seated at a round table, and albeit that her sister already knew, when the news was broken, there was hardly a peep above a whisper that was spoken. Even from the way BFF announced it…."I’m expecting…" was soooooooo calm and quiet. Her mom had a look like, "What is it that you're expecting?" When the soon-to-be grandparents finally realized what she had said, it was STILL quiet...they were elated, of course, but quiet nonetheless. This announcement from my co-worker was no different...and I find it a little funny. Why?

Okay…let me explain. If it was ME who was announcing that I was pregnant, a noise patrol officer (if one existed) would have to start making arrests. Alright, so everyone's family is not as loud as mine, but man, one would not be able to hear themselves think amid the sea of hysterical and chaotic laughter and excitement. We are THAT loud, I shit you not. What can I say? We're just excitable people!

Another example of how I cannot contain my excitement and happiness...another co-worker, Erica, announced that she was expecting...btw, there is a GRIP of lil' Cornerstone babies being born! Anyways...a few of us were talking and she leans her head and comes in a bit closer and asks, "Can you react calmly?" And c'mon, when you hear those words, you KNOW the news is going to be big. I asked her why and she repeats her question, but this time with a big smile on her face. By this time, I already knew, but HAD to ask to confirm. Can MnM react calmly?!

How can anyone react calmly to such good news? Seriously?!

At least with Erica, there was some sort of warning...a preview. With yesterday's news, I think the field trip and pregnancy announcement was uttered in one single breath. Then, okay, by the way, I’m having two. HUGE NEWS people!

Well...maybe I'm just silly, excitable, and naturally happy like that...in any case, congrats to all the soon-to-be and new moms at Cornerstone!

Happy New Year...


...from my family to yours!

7 Weird/Random Things About MnM

Okay...this is late in coming. Got tagged by Twin Rho, but it being hell without the luxury of internet AND the fact that I've had to really think about my responses is what took me so long. 'Tis a funny thing about the internet...I feel so DISconnected without it and when I do have access to it, I feel all my time is semi-wasted as I try and "catch up." Yet, without it, I have caught up with other luxuries that I've let fallen by the wayside for too long...like reading. Oh yes, and sleeping...eating...correcting papers. But I digress...

A few rules about this random facts thingy...and c'mon, play along, won't you?

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 random and/or weird things about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. Whenever I'm driving anywhere, I'm always looking at license plates. I think it started around the time when I started driving. But after looking at the license plates, I take it one step further by committing it to memory by coming up with some random mnemonics. Extra points if there happens to be out-of-state cars in the area and whoa, let's not forget about personalized plates...then it becomes even MORE interesting (in my mind anyways...). As bizarre as it may sound, it's almost an obsession.

2. I seriously cannot stand the fact that people do not know how to drive on the Great Highway. 35mph people...no freakin' need to tail my ass...you ain't goin' nowhere but forward on this two lane road and really, stop wasting gas by braking- the lights are TIMED!

3. I HAVE to make sure the closet doors are securely closed before going to bed. Credit that damn "Poltergeist" movie for this one, shit, I won't even go into WHY. Hell...the same goes for my reason for not liking clowns.

4. I'm a big crybaby. I cry at everything- commercials, movies, cards, books, songs, sunsets, sunrises, memories. What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic, I'm corny, and I'm easily touched...so sue me...but can you pass the tissue?

5. I'm proud to have called Minnesota my home for a few years. It may not have seemed like it at the time (because I was SO homesick for CA). I loved that I got to experience living in the Midwest and everything that came with it- from the weather to the God-lovin' peoples to the living out in the boonies thing. I miss it every now and then...and I sure do wish I was able to have a white Christmas.

6. I'm a fast typist. Even I impress myself! Lol!

7. I have ESP. Not in the sense that I could predict tomorrow's Lotto numbers, but call it my "6th Sense" if you will. Thoughts of an event or a person or something totally random will "pop" into my mind and whaddaya know, it will happen. But it's usually immediate, like within the first couple of seconds of the thought. It's pretty eerie, but it happens SO OFTEN that many times, I think nothing of it. Some people call it coincidence, but in the 25+ years that it's been happening, I embrace it as my ESP.

Okay...even though I know ya'll won't do it, I have to choose seven people...and seeing that Twin Rho and J would've been part of that group, I choose you: Ethan's Mommy, Mrs. Voodoo, Keyopes, the Weekender, RyceGirlie, msbLiSs, and BFF.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets



Two thumbs up! If you liked the first National Treasure movie, you'll love this movie. When it comes to movies, I'm pretty easy about 'em. There really aren't many movies that I don't like...aside from all of the movies that I simply REFUSE to see that includes all horror/slasher movies. It's funny because growing up, I never had much of a liking for history. It wasn't until my last year in high school that I became so engrossed in our study of the Vietnam War. From there, I began to notice how fascinating the past was...and of course there's the learning from the past so as not to commit the same mistakes twice, etc, but seriously, I regret not paying more attention in school back in the day.

Without going into the storyline, I will say how I love how the story jumps around to the different locations - from Paris to London to Mt.Rushmore in South Dakota. Yes, yes, a giggly MnM sat there excitedly saying, "I was there! I was there!" Out of all the states that I was able to pass through during my cross-country drive from MN to CA, South Dakota was- hands down- the most interesting state....compared to Wyoming and Nebraska, that is. Mt. Rushmore is truly a sight to behold!

In any case, as it is with enjoyable movies, I was sad to see it end. I wish all movies were at least 3 hours long! lol! OH...I forget to mention....saw the preview for Prince Caspian...the return to NARNIA! I'm so excited!

'Twas a nice relaxing day to spend with my sis, BADMama and the fam....plus, we also ran into Triple D and BeBeBallerina's parents...so really, it was a family affair all around!

The Gifts of Christmas

Another Christmas has come and gone. With New Year's just around the corner, one can't help but think about how the year has been. December alone has been a busy month- not just because of last minute shopping or the chaotic rush of the last few weeks of school- but because this month has brought about so many emotions dealing with everything from news of a new baby, divorce (not mine for a change...), and death. But despite all of the changes that we have to deal with concerning each one, there's something to be learned and to be thankful for, isn't there?

After going through my own divorce, it's definitely something that I would never ever wish upon anyone. It's messy, difficult, and just downright sad. Of course, each couple has their own set of reasons as to what leads them down this path and I'm not one to say that we all fall into the same category, but understandably so, I can sympathize at how painful that decision could be. After being married, I realize that it doesn't matter how long or how short the relationship was, pain is pain...heartache is heartache. It's taken me a long time to get over that part of my life and I think in some way, it will always BE there. But as they say, time is the great healer. I've accepted what has happened and the fact that it HAD to happen. What's done is done...it's time to move on. After four years of dealing with my marital issues, I can say that I've finally let it go. It was time.

While some are just emotionally stronger than others, again, I don't wish the big D on anyone. Seeing any loved one dealing with this brings back the pain of my own, but it's not with sadness anymore. It's more like lessons learned. It's my hope that my experience can only help in the dealing of it...perhaps even be an example that yes, through time, the days won't seem so dark, life won't be so sad, and that things WILL get better.

In an earlier post, I mentioned the passing of Lolo Buddy. His death right before the holidays just seemed cruel, but at the same time, seemed apropos. In many ways, his passing brought so many people together, albeit it was under sad circumstances, still. I'm just thankful that his family was with him during his final moments.

As they say, with a death comes new life...when one passes, another is born. I think that's definitely the case here! My newly married auntie announced at Christmas that she is expecting a baby! Our clan continues to grow...lol. Talk about a surprise and wow...what a wonderful gift.

I pray that ya'll had a wonderfully blessed Christmas...and just because I think it's a beautiful story, here's the story of the Birth of Christ.

The Birth of Jesus

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

The Shepherds and the Angels

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. ~Luke 2 (NIV)

P.S. I Love You

Talk about a tear-jerker!

First off, I already knew, without a doubt, that I was going to see this film on opening day. Second, loved the fact that I got to see it with my sis, BADMama...couldn't imagine seeing it with anyone else at the moment who would really understand inner goings of MnMz mind. Third, so glad that I had read the book FIRST...and although I have to re-read it again, it may very well be that the movie is better than the book....a rarity, I know! (Plus, I just HAD to buy another copy of the book with the movie poster of Gerard Butler on it....'cuz hell, I could look at him all day...). Fourth....well, let me just say (and this may sound somewhat ironic), but while I do believe that all things happen for a reason because God intended, I can still be superstitious in ways in which I believe in SIGNS...however big or small they may be. So fourth, this movie points to some signs...not sure whether they are significant or what, but still, signs they are to me. Lastly.....it's IRELAND. As many of you know, I am in love with IRELAND. Just seeing the backdrop of the amazingly beautiful landscape of the Irish countrysides just takes my breath away! And Lordy...the accent, oh damn, the accent....just melts my insides.

For those of you who haven't seen the preview or read the book, the basic premise is about a couple (Hilary Swank and Gerard Butler) who are totally in love with each other....but tragedy hits and Gerard Butler's character passes away. He was "the cute Irish guy who likes to sing." As his wife deals with his death, she is surprised to find that he had arranged letters to be sent to her with specific instructions...even after his passing. The entire movie goes on as she follows the wishes of her dead husband. It's sweet, really....awfully romantic....to the point of tears flowing down with each scene. Yah, I'm a sucker...I know.

And dammit, did I mention how FINE Gerard Butler is?! He's not even Irish, but d-a-m-n....he makes me melt!

Anyways, the storyline has total chickflick written all over it. I'm determined more than ever to go to Ireland now....of course along with the plan to go to Italy and France, that is. It was a crying movie, for sure (and sometimes everyone needs a good cry)....so plan on bringing some tissue.

It's Been A While....

Yes, so apparently I have the habit of being MIA these days. To be quite honest, it really is out of my hands! Being in my own lil' crib, I have all the time in the world to blog, but danggit, if only my internet connection was on 24/7! Same old story, I know, but limited funds don't allow for me to subscribe just yet. It's ghetto, I know! So if you can imagine, I wake up each morning, head to my laptop, do a little "oh please work, oh please work" lil' chant, and wait those agonizing seconds as the green bar at the bottom of my screen loads. More often than not, it gets to about bar five before that dreaded "cannot display page- please check internet connection" pops up. Hate that shit. It really isn't cool to wake up all anxious like that only to get all frustrated and peeved...gets me swearing up a storm, I tell you! As it is, whenever I DO get connection, I never know for how long the gift will last...lol...and so, let me type away as fast as I can in order to get a posting up....

December Review

School is out for Christmas vacation...thank God! In December alone, we only really had two weeks in session....but those two weeks were pure hell! The last week alone was torture- we had our 3rd Grade Christmas program on Wednesday, our Christmas luncheon on Thursday, and of course, the last day on Friday where all the kiddies are just hyped for vacation to come. 'Tis almost as bad as the actual last day of school...almost.

Christmas programs in itself are a lot of work- so much to prepare, so much practice, and quite honestly, not enough teaching time in the classroom. When I first started teaching, there were six 3rd grade classes. That's a grip of lil' kids, I tell you! But it was also six teachers who each took a responsibility to help make it a success. This year, we have four classes...you'd think it would be easier to organize. You'd THINK. Think again!

I'd rather not get into the details...as it is, the program is over anyways. (Praise the Lord!) But I just had to share the task that I put upon myself. Each year, we've had to borrow costumes from different grade levels and the same old costumes were in rotation. I really don't think these costumes were ever cleaned and it makes me uncomfortable to have my students wear them, know what I'm saying? SO...I took it upon myself and brought the idea up to the other teachers: why don't I sew a whole set of costumes for our grade level? WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Ok...it really wasn't so terrible....and it really is MY BAD for starting the damn project so late. BUT nevertheless, I was able to punch out an entire Nativity scene that included costumes for Mary, Joseph, three wisemen, and three shepherds. Count 'em...EIGHT! Hey...nevermind that I was still staying late afterschool to work with the drama kids......nevermind that I still had to plan activities for my class....and shit, nevermind that I do have a life to lead...HELLO?

AND.....it would've helped if ALL FOUR teachers in our grade level were around to put in some time and effort. 3 out of 4 helps....but dammit, all 4 would've been fabulous. Anyways....moving on.

Even though the Nativity scene took center stage for about 10 minutes near the end of the program, I have to say....they looked GOOD! Let me boast for a sec, but there was a moment during the show when I just stared at how awesome they looked...and I swear, I wanted to give myself a pat on the back! Now let me just say...those costumes are far from perfect. If you looked at the seams and the hems, they were crooked and coming apart. Hell....I did my best at 3am! Seriously though....sleep was something totally foreign to me for those two weeks....and again, let me just say that I'm SO GLAD I'm done.

Another Moment to Share....

Since we're on the topic of MnM being so glad to be on vacation...there was a day where I completely lost it at school. Lost it, as in, I was brought to tears!

Now I've had bad days with my kids.....in fact, I've had some downright shitty days...but NEVER in all the years that I've taught have I been pushed to the limit to tears! I had to leave my classroom and let it out...OMG, it was so bad. I've never felt so disappointed, angry, frustrated, and lost with a bunch of kids before...and that really makes me sad. It doesn't help when I have one kid who equals 10 bad kids.

I can't put one finger on it, on what make me explode and what made me lose it. It could be a combination of everything- the show, lack of sleep, kids not listening- but at the same time, it could be the fact that these kids are just so spoiled. They don't get it! I mean, yes, yes, they are in school so that I could teach them how to be, but shit, it's like they cannot do anything unless it is word for word instruction. It's as if these kids are freakin' spoon-fed at home...and the worst thing is...the kids have their parents wrapped around their little fingers. So conniving! Argh! Oh yes, I forget to mention that I do have some liars in my class (...and I despise liars....), kids who forge their parents' signatures, and kids with the most rotten attitude. Yes, I'm talkin' about 3rd graders here....and it's pushing me to the limit.

Ya'll know I'd never, but some of them just need a good ass-whoopin', if you ask me!

How many more months until the end of school??? Pray for me....

Saying Goodbye....

This past Monday, my family said goodbye to Lolo Buddy. He passed away on Dec. 11th from cancer and various complications. Lolo had been in the V.A. hospital for almost three years now and each time we visited him, it seemed like he was getting worse. Last last Saturday, my mom, two aunties, and my sis came to visit my lil' place and together, we took the 5-minute drive to visit him. We didn't know that it would be the last time we'd see him alive. His body had deteriorated even more since the last time and because of all the pain he was suffering, was on a morphine drip. They tell me that he was also suffering from dementia, but I know that he did recognize us all when we were there. I did have a moment with him and again, I know that he knew who I was...and gosh, I was so very thankful to have that brief exchange with him.

We had gotten word that his health had turned for the worse and that he probably wouldn't make it to Christmas. On Dec. 11th, my mom was waiting for her younger sis to drive her to visit him. But before they headed to the hospital, they made a quick stop at McDonalds for my lil' cousin. They arrived at the V.A. Hospital twenty minutes after Lolo passed....they just missed his final moments.

The funeral was very emotional...and yet, while everyone was sad to see him go, we were all happy to see his suffering end. A few of us were able to say a few words about Lolo Buddy, myself included.

It's always hard to lose a loved one, but especially at special times of the year like Christmas. But his death brought so many family together.....family we rarely see, if but once a year. Instead of being sad over his passing, I am thankful to have had Lolo Buddy a part of my life. His memory will never fade and he will be missed....and I know that I will see him again someday.

Rest in peace, Lolo Buddy....we miss you and love you....

Born a Fool...Always a Fool...just the story of my life...

Fool Again by Westlife
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx2mUkZcFpI

The Popeye's Chicken Did It!

...so I was talking to Sha last night...catching up a bit on how she's been doing, how her Thanksgiving went, and how she's been feeling since, well, her baby is due anyday now. Last week, she was already dilated a centimeter and according to some veteran moms, many believe that the other 9 cm would be quick. As we were chatting, she was chowing down on some Popeye's chicken and she was saying how spicy whatever it was that she was eating. I told her, "Spicy? Girl, that's going to make the baby come out for sure!"

I got a text early this morning at 5:15am:

"I'm @ Stanford. Still in labor. Drugs- great!"

Wouldn't you know it...girlfriend went into labor not too long after we talked! Lol!

A huge congratulations to the Sha and Vic on your lil' bundle of joy...after 9 hours of labor, Lauren Paige was born at 10:11am, 6lbs 6oz and 19in long. Yay...I'm an auntie! =)