The Gifts of Christmas
Another Christmas has come and gone. With New Year's just around the corner, one can't help but think about how the year has been. December alone has been a busy month- not just because of last minute shopping or the chaotic rush of the last few weeks of school- but because this month has brought about so many emotions dealing with everything from news of a new baby, divorce (not mine for a change...), and death. But despite all of the changes that we have to deal with concerning each one, there's something to be learned and to be thankful for, isn't there?
After going through my own divorce, it's definitely something that I would never ever wish upon anyone. It's messy, difficult, and just downright sad. Of course, each couple has their own set of reasons as to what leads them down this path and I'm not one to say that we all fall into the same category, but understandably so, I can sympathize at how painful that decision could be. After being married, I realize that it doesn't matter how long or how short the relationship was, pain is pain...heartache is heartache. It's taken me a long time to get over that part of my life and I think in some way, it will always BE there. But as they say, time is the great healer. I've accepted what has happened and the fact that it HAD to happen. What's done is done...it's time to move on. After four years of dealing with my marital issues, I can say that I've finally let it go. It was time.
While some are just emotionally stronger than others, again, I don't wish the big D on anyone. Seeing any loved one dealing with this brings back the pain of my own, but it's not with sadness anymore. It's more like lessons learned. It's my hope that my experience can only help in the dealing of it...perhaps even be an example that yes, through time, the days won't seem so dark, life won't be so sad, and that things WILL get better.
In an earlier post, I mentioned the passing of Lolo Buddy. His death right before the holidays just seemed cruel, but at the same time, seemed apropos. In many ways, his passing brought so many people together, albeit it was under sad circumstances, still. I'm just thankful that his family was with him during his final moments.
As they say, with a death comes new life...when one passes, another is born. I think that's definitely the case here! My newly married auntie announced at Christmas that she is expecting a baby! Our clan continues to grow...lol. Talk about a surprise and wow...what a wonderful gift.
I pray that ya'll had a wonderfully blessed Christmas...and just because I think it's a beautiful story, here's the story of the Birth of Christ.
The Birth of Jesus
In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.
So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
The Shepherds and the Angels
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. ~Luke 2 (NIV)
Showing posts with label Indescribable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Indescribable. Show all posts
Friday, December 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Finding the Inspiration
Can I get an AMEN?
Last week, I attended a Christian concert in Fremont sponsored by KFAX (1100 AM radio). The featured artist was the Hillsong praise and worship team from London. Hillsong is well-known and when I found out that they would be here in the Bay, I knew that I had to see them. In fact, my very first Christian/praise & worship cd that I ever bought was from Hillsong. I had actually gone to a Christian warehouse and spent some time at a listening station until I found one that "spoke" to me...and this was before I "discovered" Christian rock...yes, there IS such a thing! The cd that I bought was very mellow, yet powerful.
Some people don't realize that Christian music can be "cool" and that you can totally rock out to it. If some outsider were to describe the vibe of the night, they would tell you how people were on their feet jumping around and how the energy in the room was electric. At the same time, you see people "getting their praise on" with arms lifted high and closed eyes. One can't help but let the music touch your soul and the words of the song speak to your heart. Plus, there really is something about being at a Christian concert. Not to say that all the people in attendance believe that they are all perfect; rather, we are all there because we know that we are IMperfect and in need of Him. When that realization of us being a broken people hits me, I can't help but feel grateful that we're not left alone in this world to deal on our own. It's enough to bring tears to my eyes thinking of the grace He gives us to go on, despite how unworthy we are. We don't deserve His goodness...yet He gives it to us for free. We are all different in how we walk with God, in how we pray to God, and in how we worship Him...it's all good. And for many people, listening to Christian music may be "too much" for them. To each his own, right? But it's interesting how a concert or a person's testimony could speak volumes...and even moreso that if feels that it's being directed to me as if God knew that I HAD to hear those particular words at this particular time. Haha, it sounds so hokey and folksy, right....but shoot, God works in mysterious ways. I believe that for a fact.
It's been a while since I've cried...and crying for a commercial, movie, or laughing doesn't count. Lol! But wow...sometimes everyone needs a good cry now and then...not only does it do wonders for you emotionally and psychologically...but there is a definite physical release of sorts, too. The crazy thing about that night was knowing was that I wasn't the only one who had to let it out. I mean, you could hear people around the church just surrendering it all...and I wish everyone could experience that sort of freedom when you just let everything go. Talk about having that burden lifted from your shoulders!
Apparently there was an earthquake that night...and I didn't even feel it! But it was during one song that I noticed the screen shaking, but I thought it was because everyone was out of their seats jumping around! There was an announcement afterwards and the entire church prayed together for the safety of those affected. That, in itself, is powerful stuff...hearing the church auditorium suddenly become deafeningly quiet while we are led in prayer...and then to hear a thunderous "AMEN!" at the end...
It's so amazing how things work out...how we are led to be in some places at certain times...not even knowing what the outcome would be...and yet having faith that God knows what He is doing when He leads us to that moment, that place, and that experience. I continue to be wowed. With the busyness of school and upcoming events, this concert was enough to give me the inspiration I needed...to slow down, think ahead, reflect, change, and move on.
Can I get an AMEN?
Last week, I attended a Christian concert in Fremont sponsored by KFAX (1100 AM radio). The featured artist was the Hillsong praise and worship team from London. Hillsong is well-known and when I found out that they would be here in the Bay, I knew that I had to see them. In fact, my very first Christian/praise & worship cd that I ever bought was from Hillsong. I had actually gone to a Christian warehouse and spent some time at a listening station until I found one that "spoke" to me...and this was before I "discovered" Christian rock...yes, there IS such a thing! The cd that I bought was very mellow, yet powerful.
Some people don't realize that Christian music can be "cool" and that you can totally rock out to it. If some outsider were to describe the vibe of the night, they would tell you how people were on their feet jumping around and how the energy in the room was electric. At the same time, you see people "getting their praise on" with arms lifted high and closed eyes. One can't help but let the music touch your soul and the words of the song speak to your heart. Plus, there really is something about being at a Christian concert. Not to say that all the people in attendance believe that they are all perfect; rather, we are all there because we know that we are IMperfect and in need of Him. When that realization of us being a broken people hits me, I can't help but feel grateful that we're not left alone in this world to deal on our own. It's enough to bring tears to my eyes thinking of the grace He gives us to go on, despite how unworthy we are. We don't deserve His goodness...yet He gives it to us for free. We are all different in how we walk with God, in how we pray to God, and in how we worship Him...it's all good. And for many people, listening to Christian music may be "too much" for them. To each his own, right? But it's interesting how a concert or a person's testimony could speak volumes...and even moreso that if feels that it's being directed to me as if God knew that I HAD to hear those particular words at this particular time. Haha, it sounds so hokey and folksy, right....but shoot, God works in mysterious ways. I believe that for a fact.
It's been a while since I've cried...and crying for a commercial, movie, or laughing doesn't count. Lol! But wow...sometimes everyone needs a good cry now and then...not only does it do wonders for you emotionally and psychologically...but there is a definite physical release of sorts, too. The crazy thing about that night was knowing was that I wasn't the only one who had to let it out. I mean, you could hear people around the church just surrendering it all...and I wish everyone could experience that sort of freedom when you just let everything go. Talk about having that burden lifted from your shoulders!
Apparently there was an earthquake that night...and I didn't even feel it! But it was during one song that I noticed the screen shaking, but I thought it was because everyone was out of their seats jumping around! There was an announcement afterwards and the entire church prayed together for the safety of those affected. That, in itself, is powerful stuff...hearing the church auditorium suddenly become deafeningly quiet while we are led in prayer...and then to hear a thunderous "AMEN!" at the end...
It's so amazing how things work out...how we are led to be in some places at certain times...not even knowing what the outcome would be...and yet having faith that God knows what He is doing when He leads us to that moment, that place, and that experience. I continue to be wowed. With the busyness of school and upcoming events, this concert was enough to give me the inspiration I needed...to slow down, think ahead, reflect, change, and move on.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
ACSI Convention
Last week, along with three other teachers, I was sent to Sacramento for a teacher convention. ACSI (Association of Christian Schools International) was a 2-day event held at the Sacramento Convention Center downtown. I was pretty excited because not only have I never been sent anywhere for work before, but it's rare that I find myself up in our state capitol.
The two days were packed with attending seminar after seminar on various aspects of education. What made it so unique was the fact that everything was based and focused on the Christian perspective. It was wonderful how each speaker began with a word of prayer. I went to this convention not knowing what to expect, but coming back with many hopes and aspirations for what I can do as an educator. It was inspiring to be in this huge auditorium filled with Christian teachers! Plus, one of the highlights of the event was the free concert by an a'capella Christian group called RESCUE. They led the praise and worship time and the blend of voices was simply beautiful. Of course I had to get their cds and starstruck me had to get it signed- lol!
I felt like I was in college all over again as I traveled from class to class. Ya'll know me, I'm one of those people who has to take notes. I got to pick and choose which seminars to attend, but at the same time, I also had to consider which ones would be best suited to bring back to school. The deal with school sending teachers to conferences is that we are required to present what we learned to the rest of the faculty. Kinda like giving them the seminar material in a nutshell. In my opinion, I think it would be incredibly beneficial for all teachers to attend a conference such as this simply because we are a Christian school. In fact, there were quite a few schools who basically declared a day-off for the students so that their entire staff could attend. It just seems appropriate is all I'm saying. Talk about working in a "kuriput" school- sheesh! LOL!
Anyways, aside from RESCUE, a couple classes resonated. These had to do with serving overseas in International Schools and/or using my talents to serve as a missionary.
There is something called the 10/40 WINDOW...I never heard of it before. 10/40 is basically the degrees longitude and latitude of the equator...and the countries that fall in this window are the ones most in need of hearing the Word of God. What makes this "window" so unique is that foreign missionaries are basically banned...and more often than not, the dangers are magnified if you are not a native. There are programs to financially support native missionaries, but at the same time, the numbers just do not cut it. Incredibly, there are so many who choose to go, knowing the risks of danger, but doing it for the sole purpose of winning them to Christ...and I am inspired beyond belief that this is something that I have to do.
There has been this "burden in my heart" for the past few years...I feel that God is calling me to go and serve overseas. I can't quite explain it really. Often, I question whether or not I am suitable to be among those who serve...I don't feel that my Biblical knowledge is strong and yet, my desire to go grows stronger each time. I was reminded that God often uses the weak to do His work. My co-worker, whom I roomed with, offered a perspective that never crossed my mind. Seeing that all of my possessions were left behind in Minnesota, I was left with the basics- my clothes and my car. I always joke with people...because it really makes for a funny story now...that I'm like those immigrant stories you hear..."...when I first came to America, I only had $5.00 in my pocket!..." When I left Minnesota, I literally had $20 to my name...and boy, let me tell you, I learned quickly how to make that $20 last! But perhaps God was preparing me to live a life with just the basic necessities so that I can go overseas??? Who knows? He sure does work in mysterious ways, doesn't He?
All I know is that I feel more convicted to go more than ever. The timing couldn't be better. I don't have a husband or family to worry about...and it just seems like THIS is my moment to give back. I'm not saying that I'm leaving tomorrow...but it's definitely something I've been contemplating for the near future.
Overall, it was a great trip. On the last day, I decided to take a fun class- a tour of the state capitol. Little did I know that it was only a 5-minute walk from the convention center! The only negative thing about that was the rain...the pouring rain! But aside from the cool things to see inside, the surrounding gardens was just as beautiful and enough for me to roam around in the rain and take pictures. Hahah...crazy lady with the camera! Had a good time hanging with the teachers I went with...not a crowd I'd usually hang with, but we made for good fun and conversations nonetheless. Depending where I am next year (will I be overseas? serving in that 10/40 window?), I would love to attend ACSI again. Here are some pics of lovely Sac!
Last week, along with three other teachers, I was sent to Sacramento for a teacher convention. ACSI (Association of Christian Schools International) was a 2-day event held at the Sacramento Convention Center downtown. I was pretty excited because not only have I never been sent anywhere for work before, but it's rare that I find myself up in our state capitol.
The two days were packed with attending seminar after seminar on various aspects of education. What made it so unique was the fact that everything was based and focused on the Christian perspective. It was wonderful how each speaker began with a word of prayer. I went to this convention not knowing what to expect, but coming back with many hopes and aspirations for what I can do as an educator. It was inspiring to be in this huge auditorium filled with Christian teachers! Plus, one of the highlights of the event was the free concert by an a'capella Christian group called RESCUE. They led the praise and worship time and the blend of voices was simply beautiful. Of course I had to get their cds and starstruck me had to get it signed- lol!
I felt like I was in college all over again as I traveled from class to class. Ya'll know me, I'm one of those people who has to take notes. I got to pick and choose which seminars to attend, but at the same time, I also had to consider which ones would be best suited to bring back to school. The deal with school sending teachers to conferences is that we are required to present what we learned to the rest of the faculty. Kinda like giving them the seminar material in a nutshell. In my opinion, I think it would be incredibly beneficial for all teachers to attend a conference such as this simply because we are a Christian school. In fact, there were quite a few schools who basically declared a day-off for the students so that their entire staff could attend. It just seems appropriate is all I'm saying. Talk about working in a "kuriput" school- sheesh! LOL!
Anyways, aside from RESCUE, a couple classes resonated. These had to do with serving overseas in International Schools and/or using my talents to serve as a missionary.
There is something called the 10/40 WINDOW...I never heard of it before. 10/40 is basically the degrees longitude and latitude of the equator...and the countries that fall in this window are the ones most in need of hearing the Word of God. What makes this "window" so unique is that foreign missionaries are basically banned...and more often than not, the dangers are magnified if you are not a native. There are programs to financially support native missionaries, but at the same time, the numbers just do not cut it. Incredibly, there are so many who choose to go, knowing the risks of danger, but doing it for the sole purpose of winning them to Christ...and I am inspired beyond belief that this is something that I have to do.
There has been this "burden in my heart" for the past few years...I feel that God is calling me to go and serve overseas. I can't quite explain it really. Often, I question whether or not I am suitable to be among those who serve...I don't feel that my Biblical knowledge is strong and yet, my desire to go grows stronger each time. I was reminded that God often uses the weak to do His work. My co-worker, whom I roomed with, offered a perspective that never crossed my mind. Seeing that all of my possessions were left behind in Minnesota, I was left with the basics- my clothes and my car. I always joke with people...because it really makes for a funny story now...that I'm like those immigrant stories you hear..."...when I first came to America, I only had $5.00 in my pocket!..." When I left Minnesota, I literally had $20 to my name...and boy, let me tell you, I learned quickly how to make that $20 last! But perhaps God was preparing me to live a life with just the basic necessities so that I can go overseas??? Who knows? He sure does work in mysterious ways, doesn't He?
All I know is that I feel more convicted to go more than ever. The timing couldn't be better. I don't have a husband or family to worry about...and it just seems like THIS is my moment to give back. I'm not saying that I'm leaving tomorrow...but it's definitely something I've been contemplating for the near future.
Overall, it was a great trip. On the last day, I decided to take a fun class- a tour of the state capitol. Little did I know that it was only a 5-minute walk from the convention center! The only negative thing about that was the rain...the pouring rain! But aside from the cool things to see inside, the surrounding gardens was just as beautiful and enough for me to roam around in the rain and take pictures. Hahah...crazy lady with the camera! Had a good time hanging with the teachers I went with...not a crowd I'd usually hang with, but we made for good fun and conversations nonetheless. Depending where I am next year (will I be overseas? serving in that 10/40 window?), I would love to attend ACSI again. Here are some pics of lovely Sac!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Tough Day
*When school rolls around, I love getting to know my students on a more personal level. I love getting to know more about them, their likes and dislikes, and just general tidbits about their life and their personality. To me, it's my bonding time with my kids and it's the time when I establish our class as a FAMILY. A teacher friend of mine commented how great she thought it was that I always take the time to get to know my kids. Personally, if I don't get down to that level with them, I feel that I will have a difficult time connecting with them.
With that being said, when something happens to one of my family members...one of MY kids...it affects me. I didn't even know her. I didn't even know she was ill. A mother of one of my students passed away last night. She had been battling liver cancer for some time now. When the father took me aside this morning to let me know, I was overcome with so many emotions. I was surprised that he allowed his son to come to school today, but he reassured me that school was where he needed to be. The father looked mentally and physically exhausted...and when he asked me to help watch over his son, my role as this kid's teacher was brought to another level. Of course I will do whatever I can to be there for this student, but it just makes me wonder WHY he had to lose his mom at such a young age. Of course, God has a plan for everything even though we may not understand it at the moment, but my heart breaks for him, for his sister, and his dad. After his dad left, I wanted to cry. I wanted to take this kid and give him a big hug. I did take him aside and gently told him that I knew what happened. Quietly he did tell me that he's okay...he's a little sad, but he's okay.
Throughout the day, I kept my eye on him...perhaps because he might've been prepared for what would happen, it seemed like any other ordinary day for him. He played with his friends at recess, he did his work, he participated in class...anyone else would think nothing of his behavior...just another typical 3rd grader.
I don't deal with death well...some people do, but I'm not one of them. I just pray the God comforts their hearts at this time and that He will use me in the way my student needs...
*I have another student...I believe I dubbed him as the "winner" in another post...my challenge of the year, my special kid. I have been praying for more PATIENCE these past couple of days because I am SO in need of it! Something is "off" with this child...I'm no expert at child behavioral problems, but I firmly believe he has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). It's a mouthful, I know. Knowing that I would have this student since last year, I got a book to do some research. As I reread it, I find myself checking off many areas that point to it. The thing is, he's never been professionally diagnosed...and it will be my task to bring that up to his dad.
I feel like I've been getting through to him. Compared to the many times he was in trouble for one thing or another, I remembered he would throw these tantrums and would REFUSE to move or do anything at all. The teacher definitely had a difficult time...so much, that he had to be moved to another class mid-year. So far (keep your fingers crossed...), no tantrums. When I take him aside, he may be crying, but he is responding to me. When I ask him to sit or stand, he does it. But at the same time, his fuse for anger is very short...and he's not afraid to let it out even if someone else is hurt in the process. He's smart, bright, energetic, excitable...at the same time, he provokes others, doesn't listen, argues with everyone, gets in trouble for doing the exact same thing to others that he doesn't want people doing to him. It's so frustrating. I am trying different approaches. But today?
When did throwing food become a good thing? I'm sorry...fries are not meant to be airborne! And do people need to move out of the way for YOU when you are walking through? Do you really need to shove them aside? I don't think so!
With the flying fries, I was SO TEMPTED to throw some at him just so he could know how the other kids felt like....SO tempted...of course I didn't! Sheesh....lol.
He's a good kid...all of them are good...all I'm saying is that if there is something wrong with him, it's better to know now so that we can better deal with the situation. Today just happened to be a BAD day...
*Last, but not least...and because things ALWAYS happens in threes....I received the official divorce papers in the mail. Don't get me wrong, it's definitely a good thing...but with being overwhelmed by the passing of my student's mom and being frustrated with this particular kid, seeing those papers (signed, stamped, totally official) was very surreal.
*Oh...and did I tell you that today was Back to School night for the parents? It's been one long ass day...why God allows things to pile up one thing after another, I'll never know...but I'm sure somewhere in it, there's a lesson to be learned. In my weakness, I question whether or not I can do all of this...but I am reminded that it's only through Him that I can. (Philippians 4:13)
*When school rolls around, I love getting to know my students on a more personal level. I love getting to know more about them, their likes and dislikes, and just general tidbits about their life and their personality. To me, it's my bonding time with my kids and it's the time when I establish our class as a FAMILY. A teacher friend of mine commented how great she thought it was that I always take the time to get to know my kids. Personally, if I don't get down to that level with them, I feel that I will have a difficult time connecting with them.
With that being said, when something happens to one of my family members...one of MY kids...it affects me. I didn't even know her. I didn't even know she was ill. A mother of one of my students passed away last night. She had been battling liver cancer for some time now. When the father took me aside this morning to let me know, I was overcome with so many emotions. I was surprised that he allowed his son to come to school today, but he reassured me that school was where he needed to be. The father looked mentally and physically exhausted...and when he asked me to help watch over his son, my role as this kid's teacher was brought to another level. Of course I will do whatever I can to be there for this student, but it just makes me wonder WHY he had to lose his mom at such a young age. Of course, God has a plan for everything even though we may not understand it at the moment, but my heart breaks for him, for his sister, and his dad. After his dad left, I wanted to cry. I wanted to take this kid and give him a big hug. I did take him aside and gently told him that I knew what happened. Quietly he did tell me that he's okay...he's a little sad, but he's okay.
Throughout the day, I kept my eye on him...perhaps because he might've been prepared for what would happen, it seemed like any other ordinary day for him. He played with his friends at recess, he did his work, he participated in class...anyone else would think nothing of his behavior...just another typical 3rd grader.
I don't deal with death well...some people do, but I'm not one of them. I just pray the God comforts their hearts at this time and that He will use me in the way my student needs...
*I have another student...I believe I dubbed him as the "winner" in another post...my challenge of the year, my special kid. I have been praying for more PATIENCE these past couple of days because I am SO in need of it! Something is "off" with this child...I'm no expert at child behavioral problems, but I firmly believe he has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). It's a mouthful, I know. Knowing that I would have this student since last year, I got a book to do some research. As I reread it, I find myself checking off many areas that point to it. The thing is, he's never been professionally diagnosed...and it will be my task to bring that up to his dad.
I feel like I've been getting through to him. Compared to the many times he was in trouble for one thing or another, I remembered he would throw these tantrums and would REFUSE to move or do anything at all. The teacher definitely had a difficult time...so much, that he had to be moved to another class mid-year. So far (keep your fingers crossed...), no tantrums. When I take him aside, he may be crying, but he is responding to me. When I ask him to sit or stand, he does it. But at the same time, his fuse for anger is very short...and he's not afraid to let it out even if someone else is hurt in the process. He's smart, bright, energetic, excitable...at the same time, he provokes others, doesn't listen, argues with everyone, gets in trouble for doing the exact same thing to others that he doesn't want people doing to him. It's so frustrating. I am trying different approaches. But today?
When did throwing food become a good thing? I'm sorry...fries are not meant to be airborne! And do people need to move out of the way for YOU when you are walking through? Do you really need to shove them aside? I don't think so!
With the flying fries, I was SO TEMPTED to throw some at him just so he could know how the other kids felt like....SO tempted...of course I didn't! Sheesh....lol.
He's a good kid...all of them are good...all I'm saying is that if there is something wrong with him, it's better to know now so that we can better deal with the situation. Today just happened to be a BAD day...
*Last, but not least...and because things ALWAYS happens in threes....I received the official divorce papers in the mail. Don't get me wrong, it's definitely a good thing...but with being overwhelmed by the passing of my student's mom and being frustrated with this particular kid, seeing those papers (signed, stamped, totally official) was very surreal.
*Oh...and did I tell you that today was Back to School night for the parents? It's been one long ass day...why God allows things to pile up one thing after another, I'll never know...but I'm sure somewhere in it, there's a lesson to be learned. In my weakness, I question whether or not I can do all of this...but I am reminded that it's only through Him that I can. (Philippians 4:13)
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Awesome Nightshow
Earlier this morning, my sis, niece, and I dragged ourselves out of bed in order to witness the total lunar eclipse. I was stoked because it's been a while since I've drunk in any celestial viewings/sightings...just like how they say we should all take time to "stop and smell the roses..."...the same is true about star gazing. We should all stop and avert our eyes to the night sky and just be amazed by its beauty.
Back in the day, I would've considered myself an astronomy lover...so much that I wanted to major in it when I got into State. I aspired to be the first Filipina astronaut! I eagerly registered for Astronomy 101 and was disappointed to find that I had to learn all this math. Math? Not my forte. Hell, I just wanted to study the stars, be able to identify constellations, and perhaps, discover something that could be named after me. Talk about crushed spirits! That class opened my eyes to the fact that Astronomy was not for me and should be persued as only a hobby.
I used to read up on space when I was younger, but after this morning's event, I had to google all of this stuff to refresh my memory and understand it better. Sites like MrEclipse.com had a lot of good info.
An eclipse of the Moon (or lunar eclipse) can only occur at Full Moon, and only if the Moon passes through some portion of the Earth's shadow. The shadow is actually composed of two cone-shaped components, one nested inside the other. The outer or penumbral shadow is a zone where the Earth blocks part but not all of the Sun's rays from reaching the Moon. In contrast, the inner or umbral shadow is a region where the Earth blocks all direct sunlight from reaching the Moon.
Astronomers recognize three basic types of lunar eclipses:
1. Penumbral Lunar Eclipse
The Moon passes through Earth's penumbral shadow. These events are of only academic interest since they are subtle and quite difficult to observe.
2. Partial Lunar Eclipse
A portion of the Moon passes through Earth's umbral shadow. These events are easy to see, even with the unaided eye.
3. Total Lunar Eclipse
The entire Moon passes through Earth's umbral shadow. These events are quite striking for the vibrant range of colors the Moon can take on during the total phase (i.e. - totality).
Now you might be wondering "If the Moon orbits Earth every 29.5 days and lunar eclipses only occur at Full Moon, then why don't we have an eclipse once a month during Full Moon?". I'm glad you asked! You see, the Moon's orbit around Earth is actually tipped about 5 degrees to Earth's orbit around the Sun. This means that the Moon spends most of the time either above or below the plane of Earth's orbit. And the plane of Earth's orbit around the Sun is important because Earth's shadows lie exactly in the same plane. During Full Moon, our natural satellite usually passes above or below Earth's shadows and misses them entirely. No eclipse takes place. But two to four times each year, the Moon passes through some portion of the Earth's penumbral or umbral shadows and one of the above three types of eclipses occurs.
When an eclipse of the Moon takes place, everyone on the night side of Earth can see it. About 35% of all eclipses are of the penumbral type which are very difficult to detect, even with a telescope. Another 30% are partial eclipses which are easy to see with the unaided eye. The final 35% or so are total eclipses, and these are quite extrordinary events to behold.
Here are some images from this morning...unfortunately, the pics that I attempted to take did not come out at all. Now if only I had a phat camera like Triple D's...
Explains what happens within the given timeframe. It was pretty cool because we noticed that the times were pretty exact.
A beautiful shot of the full moon.
Taken by Chronicle photographer Frank Larson- it's a view of the eclipse next to the tip of the Transamerica Pyramid building in San Francisco. I guess it WAS clear in the city to view it! Notice the reddish hues on the moon...
As the earth's shadow covered the moon, us girls ventured outside for a better view. If it wasn't for the surrounding lights of the neighborhood houses and streetlights, I'm positive the view would've been more spectacular. With the naked eye, you can really see how the moon appeared to turn red.
In the midst of all of the ooohing and aaaahing, Sabrina made a comment about how awesome God was for His wonderful creations. At that, I literally had to stop in my tracks. I was so busy trying to identify nearby constellations, straining my eyes for any falling stars, and focusing on the eclipse itself that I failed to acknowledge how the entire thing was possible in the first place! I then heard a verse inside my head, although I wouldn't be able to tell you which one, that basically talks about the faith of a child, or seeing through the eyes of a child.
As I looked up at the sky again, I saw it with different eyes...and it only made the event even more spectacular than the minute before. So thank you, Sabrina, for that reminder that God is so good!
*Thanks family for waking up in the wee hours to witness the lunar eclipse...we can do it again next year on FEBRUARY 21, 2008!
Earlier this morning, my sis, niece, and I dragged ourselves out of bed in order to witness the total lunar eclipse. I was stoked because it's been a while since I've drunk in any celestial viewings/sightings...just like how they say we should all take time to "stop and smell the roses..."...the same is true about star gazing. We should all stop and avert our eyes to the night sky and just be amazed by its beauty.
Back in the day, I would've considered myself an astronomy lover...so much that I wanted to major in it when I got into State. I aspired to be the first Filipina astronaut! I eagerly registered for Astronomy 101 and was disappointed to find that I had to learn all this math. Math? Not my forte. Hell, I just wanted to study the stars, be able to identify constellations, and perhaps, discover something that could be named after me. Talk about crushed spirits! That class opened my eyes to the fact that Astronomy was not for me and should be persued as only a hobby.
I used to read up on space when I was younger, but after this morning's event, I had to google all of this stuff to refresh my memory and understand it better. Sites like MrEclipse.com had a lot of good info.
An eclipse of the Moon (or lunar eclipse) can only occur at Full Moon, and only if the Moon passes through some portion of the Earth's shadow. The shadow is actually composed of two cone-shaped components, one nested inside the other. The outer or penumbral shadow is a zone where the Earth blocks part but not all of the Sun's rays from reaching the Moon. In contrast, the inner or umbral shadow is a region where the Earth blocks all direct sunlight from reaching the Moon.
Astronomers recognize three basic types of lunar eclipses:
1. Penumbral Lunar Eclipse
The Moon passes through Earth's penumbral shadow. These events are of only academic interest since they are subtle and quite difficult to observe.
2. Partial Lunar Eclipse
A portion of the Moon passes through Earth's umbral shadow. These events are easy to see, even with the unaided eye.
3. Total Lunar Eclipse
The entire Moon passes through Earth's umbral shadow. These events are quite striking for the vibrant range of colors the Moon can take on during the total phase (i.e. - totality).
Now you might be wondering "If the Moon orbits Earth every 29.5 days and lunar eclipses only occur at Full Moon, then why don't we have an eclipse once a month during Full Moon?". I'm glad you asked! You see, the Moon's orbit around Earth is actually tipped about 5 degrees to Earth's orbit around the Sun. This means that the Moon spends most of the time either above or below the plane of Earth's orbit. And the plane of Earth's orbit around the Sun is important because Earth's shadows lie exactly in the same plane. During Full Moon, our natural satellite usually passes above or below Earth's shadows and misses them entirely. No eclipse takes place. But two to four times each year, the Moon passes through some portion of the Earth's penumbral or umbral shadows and one of the above three types of eclipses occurs.
When an eclipse of the Moon takes place, everyone on the night side of Earth can see it. About 35% of all eclipses are of the penumbral type which are very difficult to detect, even with a telescope. Another 30% are partial eclipses which are easy to see with the unaided eye. The final 35% or so are total eclipses, and these are quite extrordinary events to behold.
Here are some images from this morning...unfortunately, the pics that I attempted to take did not come out at all. Now if only I had a phat camera like Triple D's...
Explains what happens within the given timeframe. It was pretty cool because we noticed that the times were pretty exact.
A beautiful shot of the full moon.
Taken by Chronicle photographer Frank Larson- it's a view of the eclipse next to the tip of the Transamerica Pyramid building in San Francisco. I guess it WAS clear in the city to view it! Notice the reddish hues on the moon...
As the earth's shadow covered the moon, us girls ventured outside for a better view. If it wasn't for the surrounding lights of the neighborhood houses and streetlights, I'm positive the view would've been more spectacular. With the naked eye, you can really see how the moon appeared to turn red.
In the midst of all of the ooohing and aaaahing, Sabrina made a comment about how awesome God was for His wonderful creations. At that, I literally had to stop in my tracks. I was so busy trying to identify nearby constellations, straining my eyes for any falling stars, and focusing on the eclipse itself that I failed to acknowledge how the entire thing was possible in the first place! I then heard a verse inside my head, although I wouldn't be able to tell you which one, that basically talks about the faith of a child, or seeing through the eyes of a child.
As I looked up at the sky again, I saw it with different eyes...and it only made the event even more spectacular than the minute before. So thank you, Sabrina, for that reminder that God is so good!
*Thanks family for waking up in the wee hours to witness the lunar eclipse...we can do it again next year on FEBRUARY 21, 2008!
Monday, August 27, 2007
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
- Psalm 34:18
Not sure if I ever mentioned that I subscribe to a daily Bible verse via KLOVE. I've been lazy about updating my sidebar daily, but once in a while, a verse will resonate strongly that I'm moved to change it. The above verse comes at a time when I am being bombarded by anything to do with marriage, love, and divorce.
A few Sundays back, I went to church and the pastor just so happened to be starting up a new series of sermons. This four-week series was entitled "Sex, Marriage, and Singleness from God's point of view." Under that umbrella, there would be four categories that he would focus on each week: sex, intimacy, fidelity, and singleness.
Now I will be honest and say that I have not been going to my church religiously week after week...although my intention is to do so. And when I have been away, there is always this "call" to go back. Yes, I do feel guilty for not attending, but at the same time, I know that I can have my intimate time with God anytime, anywhere. So when I did go back on that particular Sunday, I felt that the message was exactly what I needed to hear.
Point blank: it's difficult for me to talk about marriage and divorce. It's a touchy subject. Even though I may pass it off nonchalantly with a smile, it still hurts something fierce inside. With any emotional pain and hardship, they say that it hurts less with each passing day. Somedays, I don't feel any different from the last.
The sermons have been hard to swallow in many parts and shit, even as I write this, I get somewhat choked up. But it always seems that when difficult and personal topics such as these arise, the pastor acknowledges how there must be so many of us dealing with the very thing. From his standpoint on the pulpit stage area, he has the opportunity to look into the church congregation and see for himself how people react to what he says. I can only guess that he saw many downcast eyes of those who were thinking of their current situations and perhaps, he did see that one lady, whom I heard, trying to stifle her sobs. Or maybe he could see me shift uncomfortably in my seat as I tried to hold back my tears. It's like Jesus was speaking through him to talk to me...almost as if he was reaching out to me through him to speak to me personally. And no matter how crappy I feel about my situation, he's saying that it will be okay in the end.
I missed last week's service because of a family event, but thanks to the internet, I can listen to the audio of the entire sermon. Last week's focused on the last topic: singleness.
Dude...that's me.
Without going into so much detail, the pastor began with the common stereotype that we all have to get out of our heads- that being single is a disease! So many singles get so much flak for not finding "the one" and yah, I can see how people can have that "dang, it's been so long" mentality. But according to the pastor, us singles should view our singleness as a gift and calling...yes, a calling to be single! Comparing married couples vs singles, people with families get easily "distracted" by so many things that they don't have the time to serve God fully, whereas singles, who don't have the responsibility of a family, can have MORE time and dedication to do what He calls them to do. Of course this is not saying that those with families can't serve God, etc, but the main point was that single people have MORE of an opportunity to do work for God.
I mentioned in an earlier post that I was experiencing "Ally McBeal syndrome"- am I supposed to live my life alone??? Y'know what? The Bible says NO. We are not meant to be alone; although it said that our singleness is a calling from God, it is but a temporary one. And to some, a very LONG temporary one! But hearing the words, "we are not meant to be alone"...I feel that I was MEANT to hear it and internalize it.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
To truly believe this verse is a major comfort.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I made it to church today. Once a year, my church hosts an outdoor service at an amphitheater in the nearby park. This was my first one! There really is something about singing, praising, and praying to God outdoors. Again, the messages and faith stories spoke to me. How does HE know that I needed to hear that today? 'Cuz he's AWESOME and ALL-KNOWING!
There was a BBQ following the service (YUM!), but there were also baptisms today. I have to say that each and every time I see a baptism, whether it is in person or in a film/slideshow/pictures, I can't help but feel overwhelming joy for that person. It's making the commitment, it's making that declaration, and it's sharing it with everyone...everyone's story of how they came to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior is different and personal to each, but at the same time, I feel that we all now share that one common bond. Needless to say, I was in tears the entire time! It was beautiful to see young kids get baptized, but two particular people stood out today. One was an 80-something year old lady and the other was a recovering alcoholic. To see and hear about the major shift in their life dedicated to following God was touching and inspirational. I was glad to have made it to service today to see firsthand the beginning of their new lives.
**In case you were interested or curious about any of the topics in that four-week series, click here.
- Psalm 34:18
Not sure if I ever mentioned that I subscribe to a daily Bible verse via KLOVE. I've been lazy about updating my sidebar daily, but once in a while, a verse will resonate strongly that I'm moved to change it. The above verse comes at a time when I am being bombarded by anything to do with marriage, love, and divorce.
A few Sundays back, I went to church and the pastor just so happened to be starting up a new series of sermons. This four-week series was entitled "Sex, Marriage, and Singleness from God's point of view." Under that umbrella, there would be four categories that he would focus on each week: sex, intimacy, fidelity, and singleness.
Now I will be honest and say that I have not been going to my church religiously week after week...although my intention is to do so. And when I have been away, there is always this "call" to go back. Yes, I do feel guilty for not attending, but at the same time, I know that I can have my intimate time with God anytime, anywhere. So when I did go back on that particular Sunday, I felt that the message was exactly what I needed to hear.
Point blank: it's difficult for me to talk about marriage and divorce. It's a touchy subject. Even though I may pass it off nonchalantly with a smile, it still hurts something fierce inside. With any emotional pain and hardship, they say that it hurts less with each passing day. Somedays, I don't feel any different from the last.
The sermons have been hard to swallow in many parts and shit, even as I write this, I get somewhat choked up. But it always seems that when difficult and personal topics such as these arise, the pastor acknowledges how there must be so many of us dealing with the very thing. From his standpoint on the pulpit stage area, he has the opportunity to look into the church congregation and see for himself how people react to what he says. I can only guess that he saw many downcast eyes of those who were thinking of their current situations and perhaps, he did see that one lady, whom I heard, trying to stifle her sobs. Or maybe he could see me shift uncomfortably in my seat as I tried to hold back my tears. It's like Jesus was speaking through him to talk to me...almost as if he was reaching out to me through him to speak to me personally. And no matter how crappy I feel about my situation, he's saying that it will be okay in the end.
I missed last week's service because of a family event, but thanks to the internet, I can listen to the audio of the entire sermon. Last week's focused on the last topic: singleness.
Dude...that's me.
Without going into so much detail, the pastor began with the common stereotype that we all have to get out of our heads- that being single is a disease! So many singles get so much flak for not finding "the one" and yah, I can see how people can have that "dang, it's been so long" mentality. But according to the pastor, us singles should view our singleness as a gift and calling...yes, a calling to be single! Comparing married couples vs singles, people with families get easily "distracted" by so many things that they don't have the time to serve God fully, whereas singles, who don't have the responsibility of a family, can have MORE time and dedication to do what He calls them to do. Of course this is not saying that those with families can't serve God, etc, but the main point was that single people have MORE of an opportunity to do work for God.
I mentioned in an earlier post that I was experiencing "Ally McBeal syndrome"- am I supposed to live my life alone??? Y'know what? The Bible says NO. We are not meant to be alone; although it said that our singleness is a calling from God, it is but a temporary one. And to some, a very LONG temporary one! But hearing the words, "we are not meant to be alone"...I feel that I was MEANT to hear it and internalize it.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
To truly believe this verse is a major comfort.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I made it to church today. Once a year, my church hosts an outdoor service at an amphitheater in the nearby park. This was my first one! There really is something about singing, praising, and praying to God outdoors. Again, the messages and faith stories spoke to me. How does HE know that I needed to hear that today? 'Cuz he's AWESOME and ALL-KNOWING!
There was a BBQ following the service (YUM!), but there were also baptisms today. I have to say that each and every time I see a baptism, whether it is in person or in a film/slideshow/pictures, I can't help but feel overwhelming joy for that person. It's making the commitment, it's making that declaration, and it's sharing it with everyone...everyone's story of how they came to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior is different and personal to each, but at the same time, I feel that we all now share that one common bond. Needless to say, I was in tears the entire time! It was beautiful to see young kids get baptized, but two particular people stood out today. One was an 80-something year old lady and the other was a recovering alcoholic. To see and hear about the major shift in their life dedicated to following God was touching and inspirational. I was glad to have made it to service today to see firsthand the beginning of their new lives.
**In case you were interested or curious about any of the topics in that four-week series, click here.
Monday, August 06, 2007
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At 6am yesterday morning, RyceGirl and I headed down to Monterey for the Spirit WestCoast Christian festival. The festival itself was held in Laguna Seca, a little town I've never heard of, but is the location of the racetracks. One of the first things you see once you get there is the number of trailers and RVs. Because this is a huge 3-day event, people flock from all over and camp out. I think it's wonderful that families make the trip; personally, even if I wanted to attend all three days of the festival, I'd make that extra drive into town and stay at one of the hotels. I'm just very particular when it comes to running water and flushable toilets. Lol!
As we drove towards Monterey, the weather was depressingly foggy and overcast...as if we never even left da city! But the closer we got to the Laguna Seca racetracks, the sun was peeking out of the clouds until it finally came out. The rest of the morning and afternoon was sunny and just plain HOT! Rycegirl and I were prepared- we had our sunscreen, our sunglasses, our water, but despite reapplying the sunblock, it still didn't stop my shoulders from getting a tad burned.
Because festival goers from the days prior staked their claim to the best spots on the lawn, Rycegirl and I settled for a spot on the dusty ground NEXT to the lawn area. We could've easily found a space in the back, but we wanted to be closer to the stage. Here's what the area around the Mainstage looked like from far away.
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The entire festival was HUGE. Aside from the three performance stages, there were rows of booths where various vendors sold items ranging from Christian wear, art, music; booths that offered information and workshops for different ministries that included child sponsorship and mission field work; and even booths that offered massage and other health related things. There was a VeggieLand (yes, as in VeggieTales) for the smaller attendees that included a mini petting zoo. There was also a skate park, rock climbing, carvinal-esque games, and quite a few of those huge inflatable slides. And oh yes, let's not forget about the food!
Here's a list of the major highlights of the day:
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OPERATION WORSHIP. The mission of this ministry is to provide Bibles to our soldiers. Festival attendees were encouraged to grab a Bible and inscribe the inside cover with a note of encouragement. The act is really simple, but as I wrote my note, I found myself getting a tad emotional. If these Bibles are meant to offer some light to the many brave men and women who are fighting for our freedom, then it is a privilege and my wish that my words offer that glint of hope in their dark and lonely moments. And if the particular Bible fell into someone's hands that already believe in God, then hopefully they at least feel the love, thanks, support, and appreciation that I pray my message conveys.
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THE CROSS. This cross sits on a hill overlooking the entire festival site. It's not that far, but it does involve a mini-trek up some trails. Near the base of the cross, there was a bolt sticking out where people stuck their written prayers onto. If I had a pen and paper, I probably would've left one, too. Coincidentally, we also found a person asleep at the foot of the cross...gosh, I hope they were asleep and not passed out because of the heat...but he or she didn't seem to mind all these people venturing up there and praying at the cross. It was just one of those things that RyceGirl and I said that we HAD to do that day...and I'm glad we did.
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THE MUSIC. Ultimately, the featured artists and their Christian messages are what brought me to Spirit West Coast in the first place. As I mentioned in another post, I've been in major need of some spiritual upliftment as of late. This sign is hilarious, isn't it? It's funny because people don't seem to understand that when I say "Christian music," it's not the regular music that one would expect to hear at church. In fact, there is such a huge stereotype that is widely misinterpreted by so many that Christians have to fit into this certain box, a particular category that sets them so obviously apart from others. How I wish people would open their eyes! Who says that Christians can't have tattoos, colored hair, and body piercings? I was surrounded by people just like that...and it was a wonderful thing! Going back to the music, most of what we heard would be considered Christian rock, Christian alternative...totally contemporary, energetic, and hip. If you don't even listen to the lyrics, you'd definitely be rockin' out; but if you DO, you'd find that you'd be rockin' out for Jesus.
GROUP 1 CREW. Not only did we get to see them perform up close, but we got to meet them and get an autograph! Even though they performed at one of the smaller stages, a lot of people gathered to watch them. Hailing from Florida, they have a Latin flavor in their music...it's a whole lotta dance, hip hop, reggae, and rap all in one. What was cool about their performance (and I have to say that this is 100% true for many of the other artists as well) is that they sound good LIVE. Plus, the message in their songs and their shared testimonies make the vibes of the performance that much deeper and more relatable. Group 1 Crew (Pablo, Blanca, and Manwell) were very cool to meet- totally down to earth individuals using their talents to praise and glorify God and to get the message of God's love and mercy out there for all to hear.
The other artists that we got to see included:
*Aaron Shust
*Group 1 Crew
*Sanctus Real
*TobyMac
*Switchfoot
Overall, I was so glad to have gone and even moreso, that it was with RyceGirl. There may not have been a specific moment and it could honestly be a sum of all parts, but being in the company of so many Christians, all there for the same reason and purpose, is truly a powerful thing. I found myself thinking about my journey thus far and all of the things that I've had to overcome to get to where I am today. I look around me and see the people in my life who love me and I look at the wonderful creations that give beauty to this world...and I think to myself, how can I NOT thank God for His goodness?
God does work in mysterious ways. He led me to attend this concert on THIS particular day...so that I may listen to these particular artists...so that I could hear their particular message and testimony. He knew that what they had to share would affect me in a certain way. Last week, someone told me that I had a "warped sense of God in my life" and I was truly offended. There were a couple of moments where I let those words sink in and it made me question if there was any truth to it. No one wants to believe that for themselves, myself included, but I am not perfect, nor have I ever claimed to be. But I stand firm in what I believe. While it hurt to hear those words spoken to me, I will take that as reason to dig deeper into my faith and to look even closer when I see myself in the mirror. Perhaps there are things that I do that are "warped" that I don't see and maybe it had to take that person's comments to open my eyes. I still believe that I met that person for a reason- to open their eyes to the possibility of a God that loves unconditionally and that having a relationship with Him is lifechanging.
Spirit West Coast was an AWESOME experience...and I can't wait to go again next year!
RyceGirlie, it was a blast to have gone with you! So many memorable moments...the shopping, the food, the icky-not-so-icky toilets, the drive, the heat, the cold, the fog, the weird smell on the opposite side where we sat, the dust, the rhythmless nation, "shoost," the "Counting Crows," meeting Group 1 Crew, and the free hugs...I should've gotten the t-shirt! I can't wait to do it again! I thank God for friends like you...much love homegirl!
Monday, July 02, 2007
The Other MnM Blog
I actually forgot it. Perhaps I blocked it from my memory, but early last year, I created a blog especially for my family and friends to let them know how I was faring since my decision to drop the news of the big D. I only wrote in it for about a month...and if I recall, I basically fell into a major state of depression and withdrew from blogging at all for a while. I reread all of my entries and suprisingly, I didn't burst out crying. There was this sadness inside, a certain sadness that I'm beginning to believe may never completely disappear. It's always difficult to read about that time in my life where all I felt was confusion and despair. But as I kept reading, this feeling of relief radiated through, and I know now that it's because I really am on the road to moving forward.
In any case, I do plan on reposting that month of posts as my way of "exhaling," but this particular one especially resonated and I felt compelled to share it. It's nothing sad...just thoughts on one of my favorite books of all-time and how I felt it related to me at the time.
January 29, 2006
Great Expectations
The days and nights have been long. I have been frantically reading book after book to keep me busy...and although reading has provided me with an outlet to escape my own reality, the books I am currently reading speak to me in more ways than one.
I just finished The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho...and I relished each and every page. I have been hearing so much about how this book has changed so many people's outlook on life that I had to give in to curiousity. When I first got the book at Borders, I was somewhat disappointed to see how thin it was. Just how I enjoy watching three plus hour movies, I totally love reading thick books. And wouldn't you know it, the closer I got to the end, I was dreading the last page. It was so intensely good that I didn't want it to be done.
What about this book has changed people's lives? It talks of Personal Legends, the Soul of the World, the Soul of the Universe, and the Universal Language. Without going into so much detail as to ruin it for those who have not read this awesome book, a Personal Legend is basically what each person wants to accomplish- it could be acquiring a treasure, accomplishing a goal, and/or living out one's purpose in life. It is unique to us alone. "To realize one's Personal Legend is a person's only real obligation." Ponder on that for a bit. While it does not outrightly speak of a God in terms of one's Personal Legend, as I was reading this, the only interpretation that I could think of WAS God. I believe that each one of us was created with a purpose and while we may not know or understand what it is right now, realizing what that purpose is our only obligation. The book also discusses that when we really want something bad, when we truly desire something, "all of the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." I had to read that sentence over a couple of times to let it sink in. I had to read it over because I had just read something very similar in another completely different book.
The other book that I am currently reading is Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Right Now. Just a quick recap of how I came to know about this book, I had been talking to a co-worker of mine a few months ago. She was asking me what my plans were once my temporary position was up and I honestly told her that I wasn't sure where my life was headed. I was unsure if I should stay in the teaching field or if I should rethink a brand new career. She went on to tell me what a talented teacher she thought I was and that if I just put my mind to whatever it was I wanted to do, I could do it. She continued by telling me what qualities she saw in me and perhaps it was because I had been having an already crappy day with the kiddies, what she said really touched me. She then recommended that I read Your Best Life Right Now. I wrote the title and author down on a post-it, stuck it inside my lesson plan book, and somehow forgot about it for a bit. Once the teaching gig was over, I was preparing papers and lessons to hand over to the incoming teacher when I came across the post-it. I took the post-it out and made a mental note that I should really pick the book up. That very same day, I got a call from Mrs. G that she was coming over to drop off a belated Christmas gift. Lo and behold, the gift she gave me was the book! Now if that isn't God working in mysterious ways, then I don't know anything!
In any case, in the book, it talks about enlarging our vision of our life...that we should not be satisfied with little improvement, and that we should strive for MORE. More of ourselves and MORE from God. When I mentioned that what I read in The Alchemist was similar to what I read in Your Best Life Right Now, I meant that the message that it was trying to relay was all connected. It was saying that if I want to live my best life right, I had to DO something about it. If I am to live my best life right now, I shouldn't be satisfied with little improvement when I know things could be much better. It says that I have my personal legend, my unique purpose, and that my goal is to find out what that is, but that cannot be done if I do not enlarge my vision to the life that I should be having.
In terms of how all of what I am reading directly relates to my life right now, I am amazed. Shocked. Surprised. Wowed. You name it. It's as if these books are talking to me. Or, as I would also like to say, it's as if God is speaking to me through these books. I do believe that God wants my life to be better than what it currently is. I don't have regrets of what has happened because I believe that everything happens for a reason.
There was a reason why we meet certain people in our lives...a reason why I chose to marry...a reason why he had to lie and deceive me like he did...a reason for me to find out the way I did...a reason for me to have moved away from my family...and a reason for me to move back.
In all things, there should no longer be regret. Everything happens for a reason and because they did, I have become a stronger person, a stronger woman because of it.Now that I am choosing to change my life for the better, to live "my best life right now," I have to believe...to have faith...that the universe will conspire to help me achieve it.
I actually forgot it. Perhaps I blocked it from my memory, but early last year, I created a blog especially for my family and friends to let them know how I was faring since my decision to drop the news of the big D. I only wrote in it for about a month...and if I recall, I basically fell into a major state of depression and withdrew from blogging at all for a while. I reread all of my entries and suprisingly, I didn't burst out crying. There was this sadness inside, a certain sadness that I'm beginning to believe may never completely disappear. It's always difficult to read about that time in my life where all I felt was confusion and despair. But as I kept reading, this feeling of relief radiated through, and I know now that it's because I really am on the road to moving forward.
In any case, I do plan on reposting that month of posts as my way of "exhaling," but this particular one especially resonated and I felt compelled to share it. It's nothing sad...just thoughts on one of my favorite books of all-time and how I felt it related to me at the time.
January 29, 2006
Great Expectations
The days and nights have been long. I have been frantically reading book after book to keep me busy...and although reading has provided me with an outlet to escape my own reality, the books I am currently reading speak to me in more ways than one.
I just finished The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho...and I relished each and every page. I have been hearing so much about how this book has changed so many people's outlook on life that I had to give in to curiousity. When I first got the book at Borders, I was somewhat disappointed to see how thin it was. Just how I enjoy watching three plus hour movies, I totally love reading thick books. And wouldn't you know it, the closer I got to the end, I was dreading the last page. It was so intensely good that I didn't want it to be done.
What about this book has changed people's lives? It talks of Personal Legends, the Soul of the World, the Soul of the Universe, and the Universal Language. Without going into so much detail as to ruin it for those who have not read this awesome book, a Personal Legend is basically what each person wants to accomplish- it could be acquiring a treasure, accomplishing a goal, and/or living out one's purpose in life. It is unique to us alone. "To realize one's Personal Legend is a person's only real obligation." Ponder on that for a bit. While it does not outrightly speak of a God in terms of one's Personal Legend, as I was reading this, the only interpretation that I could think of WAS God. I believe that each one of us was created with a purpose and while we may not know or understand what it is right now, realizing what that purpose is our only obligation. The book also discusses that when we really want something bad, when we truly desire something, "all of the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." I had to read that sentence over a couple of times to let it sink in. I had to read it over because I had just read something very similar in another completely different book.
The other book that I am currently reading is Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Right Now. Just a quick recap of how I came to know about this book, I had been talking to a co-worker of mine a few months ago. She was asking me what my plans were once my temporary position was up and I honestly told her that I wasn't sure where my life was headed. I was unsure if I should stay in the teaching field or if I should rethink a brand new career. She went on to tell me what a talented teacher she thought I was and that if I just put my mind to whatever it was I wanted to do, I could do it. She continued by telling me what qualities she saw in me and perhaps it was because I had been having an already crappy day with the kiddies, what she said really touched me. She then recommended that I read Your Best Life Right Now. I wrote the title and author down on a post-it, stuck it inside my lesson plan book, and somehow forgot about it for a bit. Once the teaching gig was over, I was preparing papers and lessons to hand over to the incoming teacher when I came across the post-it. I took the post-it out and made a mental note that I should really pick the book up. That very same day, I got a call from Mrs. G that she was coming over to drop off a belated Christmas gift. Lo and behold, the gift she gave me was the book! Now if that isn't God working in mysterious ways, then I don't know anything!
In any case, in the book, it talks about enlarging our vision of our life...that we should not be satisfied with little improvement, and that we should strive for MORE. More of ourselves and MORE from God. When I mentioned that what I read in The Alchemist was similar to what I read in Your Best Life Right Now, I meant that the message that it was trying to relay was all connected. It was saying that if I want to live my best life right, I had to DO something about it. If I am to live my best life right now, I shouldn't be satisfied with little improvement when I know things could be much better. It says that I have my personal legend, my unique purpose, and that my goal is to find out what that is, but that cannot be done if I do not enlarge my vision to the life that I should be having.
In terms of how all of what I am reading directly relates to my life right now, I am amazed. Shocked. Surprised. Wowed. You name it. It's as if these books are talking to me. Or, as I would also like to say, it's as if God is speaking to me through these books. I do believe that God wants my life to be better than what it currently is. I don't have regrets of what has happened because I believe that everything happens for a reason.
There was a reason why we meet certain people in our lives...a reason why I chose to marry...a reason why he had to lie and deceive me like he did...a reason for me to find out the way I did...a reason for me to have moved away from my family...and a reason for me to move back.
In all things, there should no longer be regret. Everything happens for a reason and because they did, I have become a stronger person, a stronger woman because of it.Now that I am choosing to change my life for the better, to live "my best life right now," I have to believe...to have faith...that the universe will conspire to help me achieve it.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Lifted High
"Music is the medicine of the breaking heart."--- Leigh Hunt
I attended the “How Great is Our God” tour last Sunday at the San Jose State Event Center. The featured headliners were Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and speaker, Louie Giglio. For those who are not familiar with these names, they are among the top Christian artists of today.
I know so many people who roll their eyes when I tell them that I listen to Christian music, but I could care less. Many people make the wrong assumptions and think that it’s a bunch of old school organ music. On the contrary, people! This genre has its own continuum of easy listening ballads to contemporary pop to alternative rock. Sure you got the hymns of old, but there are definitely a new set of tunes for the younger set that truly make you passionate about what you believe…and I’m talking about the Big Man upstairs, God Himself.
Now before you think that I’m getting too Christian on you, let me first say this- I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. It’s interesting how I have met people who have this “holier than thou” attitude and who believe they are superior because they believe in God. It’s almost as if they know this awesome secret and consider themselves to be “the elite” who know, and instead of sharing this secret with others, keep it to themselves, snub others who don’t know and look down on those who they think should know. Does that make sense?
But at the concert, one fact was made poignantly clear- we are not Christians because we are perfect; rather, we are Christians because we are IMPERFECT and in need of God’s love and salvation. Despite whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, none of us are immune from God’s love, comfort, mercy, and forgiveness….all we have to do is let Him come.
Now if you know anything about what I’ve been going through, especially with the past year, then you would understand just how much my soul needed to be fed. Some of you know that I’ve wanted to attend a Christian concert for a while now and I was totally psyched when I bought these tickets. Christian concerts are not as common here in the Bay Area as they are in other places such as Minnesota….and honestly, that is one of the major things I do miss about the Midwest….it’s so God-friendly over there. Here, it’s either or- you’re damned if you do believe; you’re damned if you don’t believe. I choose to believe.
The past few months have been hard, especially with all the major holidays that have come and gone. I have been standing at a crossroads of my life for so long…and now, I am finding my way down the road that I have chosen…the “road not taken,” if you will. The journey has not been without friends and family, but the path itself is still lonely and unforgiving. I’ve experienced the whole feeling-alone-in-a-crowded-room thing and let me tell you, it sucks. And while praying does bring me a comfort that I cannot find anywhere else, there are times when I find myself without energy to do so because of one reason or another…all of which are sounding like lame excuses right now.
The concert did wonders for me and my soul. It was exactly what I needed. First of all, it simply blew my mind to be in a huge venue full of people who, literally, wanted to rock out in God’s name. People were jumping around, boppin’ their heads, singing along (they had the lyrics projected on a huge screen)…and when the music slowed down a bit, people had their eyes closed, hands raised, outstretched, and I tell you, it’s such a powerful sight. You can’t help but hear the music and let the lyrics touch your soul. The feeling I get is as if God is hugging me and telling me that everything will be better. That, in itself, is a pretty awesome feeling…so awesome that it brings you to tears. Yes, all that through a song. And yes, just how it is when a friend comforts you with a hug, it makes the burden you carry that much lighter.
I attended the concert with a friend from work and DogLover along with her hubby. It was refreshing to bond with them, not in that co-workerish, BFF-ish kind of way, but in the spiritual sense. It’s been hard to let my guard down and be real about my emotions about life these days and being able to share was, again, good for me. Good company, good friends, good conversation, good music...s'all good.
This was definitely one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to!
DogLover and MnM
Mr. & Mrs. DogLover
MnM and Mr. Kam
"Music is the medicine of the breaking heart."--- Leigh Hunt
I attended the “How Great is Our God” tour last Sunday at the San Jose State Event Center. The featured headliners were Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and speaker, Louie Giglio. For those who are not familiar with these names, they are among the top Christian artists of today.
I know so many people who roll their eyes when I tell them that I listen to Christian music, but I could care less. Many people make the wrong assumptions and think that it’s a bunch of old school organ music. On the contrary, people! This genre has its own continuum of easy listening ballads to contemporary pop to alternative rock. Sure you got the hymns of old, but there are definitely a new set of tunes for the younger set that truly make you passionate about what you believe…and I’m talking about the Big Man upstairs, God Himself.
Now before you think that I’m getting too Christian on you, let me first say this- I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. It’s interesting how I have met people who have this “holier than thou” attitude and who believe they are superior because they believe in God. It’s almost as if they know this awesome secret and consider themselves to be “the elite” who know, and instead of sharing this secret with others, keep it to themselves, snub others who don’t know and look down on those who they think should know. Does that make sense?
But at the concert, one fact was made poignantly clear- we are not Christians because we are perfect; rather, we are Christians because we are IMPERFECT and in need of God’s love and salvation. Despite whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, none of us are immune from God’s love, comfort, mercy, and forgiveness….all we have to do is let Him come.
Now if you know anything about what I’ve been going through, especially with the past year, then you would understand just how much my soul needed to be fed. Some of you know that I’ve wanted to attend a Christian concert for a while now and I was totally psyched when I bought these tickets. Christian concerts are not as common here in the Bay Area as they are in other places such as Minnesota….and honestly, that is one of the major things I do miss about the Midwest….it’s so God-friendly over there. Here, it’s either or- you’re damned if you do believe; you’re damned if you don’t believe. I choose to believe.
The past few months have been hard, especially with all the major holidays that have come and gone. I have been standing at a crossroads of my life for so long…and now, I am finding my way down the road that I have chosen…the “road not taken,” if you will. The journey has not been without friends and family, but the path itself is still lonely and unforgiving. I’ve experienced the whole feeling-alone-in-a-crowded-room thing and let me tell you, it sucks. And while praying does bring me a comfort that I cannot find anywhere else, there are times when I find myself without energy to do so because of one reason or another…all of which are sounding like lame excuses right now.
The concert did wonders for me and my soul. It was exactly what I needed. First of all, it simply blew my mind to be in a huge venue full of people who, literally, wanted to rock out in God’s name. People were jumping around, boppin’ their heads, singing along (they had the lyrics projected on a huge screen)…and when the music slowed down a bit, people had their eyes closed, hands raised, outstretched, and I tell you, it’s such a powerful sight. You can’t help but hear the music and let the lyrics touch your soul. The feeling I get is as if God is hugging me and telling me that everything will be better. That, in itself, is a pretty awesome feeling…so awesome that it brings you to tears. Yes, all that through a song. And yes, just how it is when a friend comforts you with a hug, it makes the burden you carry that much lighter.
I attended the concert with a friend from work and DogLover along with her hubby. It was refreshing to bond with them, not in that co-workerish, BFF-ish kind of way, but in the spiritual sense. It’s been hard to let my guard down and be real about my emotions about life these days and being able to share was, again, good for me. Good company, good friends, good conversation, good music...s'all good.
This was definitely one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to!
DogLover and MnM
Mr. & Mrs. DogLover
MnM and Mr. Kam
Thursday, January 18, 2007
The Mission
No, I am not talking about the location, as in where I attended high school, where the best burritos in the city can be found, or where I've been jumped while defending my friends. I'm talking about a different mission...a mission trip.
Growing up, I always heard about people volunteering their time, traveling to a third world country to share about God. My old skool thinking gives me the mental picture of some older, white nuns in their flyaway habits tending to some of the poorest people while trying to preach the Good News of God to them. Later, I noticed that missionaries around the world were being killed by non-Christian groups and I remember thinking, my goodness, is it really worth it to put your own life in danger for such a mission?
Last year, a co-worker of mine traveled with members of her church to Thailand on a two-week mission trip. While she was there, she worked with children, shared stories about Jesus, and helped quite a few non-believers convert to Christianity. Hearing about her trip was so inspiring and I could easily tell that her life dramatically changed in that short amount of time. In fact, her and her husband got the call from God to go back to Thailand. The only difference this time around is that there would be no church group to travel with- if they were to go, it would be on their own. It was a decision that had many factors to think about- could they afford it? would it be safe? where would they stay? how would they get around? what supplies would they bring? And the list goes on. But with the monetary help from supporters, they were able to go to a small village in Thailand and they've been there since Christmas.
Just recently, we were informed that their safety has become an issue. The mission they have undertaken is two-fold. During the day, they work as volunteers in a school where most of the children are orphans. Both husband and wife have experience working with children and so working in a school was a no-brainer. But what makes this school so unique is that these orphans are also former child-prostitutes who were forced into the industry. Apparently in this Thai village, child prostitution is a huge problem and many people are working to put an end to it, my friends included. Unfortunately, while they are "rescuing" these young girls, you can imagine that there are some angry pimps out there. While I may not know all the details, all I do know is that they are thinking of cutting their trip short.
Missionaries are truly some of the world's unsung heroes. In a faithless world, it takes so much courage and heart to go to these countries in hopes that their testimonies will touch someone's life.
I thought I heard the call to go on a mission trip, but I ignored it. I ignored it because I know that I am not ready to do something of that magnitude and plus, I'm scared. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I don't think I'm willing to put my life on the line just yet, but perhaps, when my faith is stronger, one day I will.
Yesterday on our way back from City Hall, a man on BART asked me how many kids were in my class. We struck up a conversation about children, teaching, and from there about the field trip we just went on to just talk about San Francisco. Really, the entire exchange lasted only two stops. Anyways, he commented that he was from Colorado and was only in the city for a day because he would be on his way to Ecuador the following morning. I asked what was taking him there and he said that he was going on a mission trip. I told him about my friends in Thailand and he had this eager look in his eyes as if he couldn't wait to get started. It was so awe-inspiring to see that! It was time for us to go and it didn't hit me until we were walking back to school (the 30 minute trek...) that I should've asked for an email address or something like that so that we, at school, could pray for him. Hmmm...would they even have Internet access? Our friends in Thailand did. Well, I did wish him luck and commented that there should be more people like him doing the kind of work that he'd be doing...and it's true.
For sure, I'm keeping our friends in Thailand in my prayers and hoping for a safe return back to California...and adding to that, just missionaries all around the world, BART dude included, for all the work they do in the name of God.
If you were called on a mission, would you go?
No, I am not talking about the location, as in where I attended high school, where the best burritos in the city can be found, or where I've been jumped while defending my friends. I'm talking about a different mission...a mission trip.
Growing up, I always heard about people volunteering their time, traveling to a third world country to share about God. My old skool thinking gives me the mental picture of some older, white nuns in their flyaway habits tending to some of the poorest people while trying to preach the Good News of God to them. Later, I noticed that missionaries around the world were being killed by non-Christian groups and I remember thinking, my goodness, is it really worth it to put your own life in danger for such a mission?
Last year, a co-worker of mine traveled with members of her church to Thailand on a two-week mission trip. While she was there, she worked with children, shared stories about Jesus, and helped quite a few non-believers convert to Christianity. Hearing about her trip was so inspiring and I could easily tell that her life dramatically changed in that short amount of time. In fact, her and her husband got the call from God to go back to Thailand. The only difference this time around is that there would be no church group to travel with- if they were to go, it would be on their own. It was a decision that had many factors to think about- could they afford it? would it be safe? where would they stay? how would they get around? what supplies would they bring? And the list goes on. But with the monetary help from supporters, they were able to go to a small village in Thailand and they've been there since Christmas.
Just recently, we were informed that their safety has become an issue. The mission they have undertaken is two-fold. During the day, they work as volunteers in a school where most of the children are orphans. Both husband and wife have experience working with children and so working in a school was a no-brainer. But what makes this school so unique is that these orphans are also former child-prostitutes who were forced into the industry. Apparently in this Thai village, child prostitution is a huge problem and many people are working to put an end to it, my friends included. Unfortunately, while they are "rescuing" these young girls, you can imagine that there are some angry pimps out there. While I may not know all the details, all I do know is that they are thinking of cutting their trip short.
Missionaries are truly some of the world's unsung heroes. In a faithless world, it takes so much courage and heart to go to these countries in hopes that their testimonies will touch someone's life.
I thought I heard the call to go on a mission trip, but I ignored it. I ignored it because I know that I am not ready to do something of that magnitude and plus, I'm scared. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I don't think I'm willing to put my life on the line just yet, but perhaps, when my faith is stronger, one day I will.
Yesterday on our way back from City Hall, a man on BART asked me how many kids were in my class. We struck up a conversation about children, teaching, and from there about the field trip we just went on to just talk about San Francisco. Really, the entire exchange lasted only two stops. Anyways, he commented that he was from Colorado and was only in the city for a day because he would be on his way to Ecuador the following morning. I asked what was taking him there and he said that he was going on a mission trip. I told him about my friends in Thailand and he had this eager look in his eyes as if he couldn't wait to get started. It was so awe-inspiring to see that! It was time for us to go and it didn't hit me until we were walking back to school (the 30 minute trek...) that I should've asked for an email address or something like that so that we, at school, could pray for him. Hmmm...would they even have Internet access? Our friends in Thailand did. Well, I did wish him luck and commented that there should be more people like him doing the kind of work that he'd be doing...and it's true.
For sure, I'm keeping our friends in Thailand in my prayers and hoping for a safe return back to California...and adding to that, just missionaries all around the world, BART dude included, for all the work they do in the name of God.
If you were called on a mission, would you go?
Sunday, January 07, 2007
It's Been a While
I came to your house today and I felt so at home
Even though it's been a while, it's as if I never left.
So many people were there to visit, the same ones every week
And here I was, a straggler, an infrequent visitor.
I've missed you so much, but I think of you often
I've thought about how much I've neglected you without meaning to do so.
With everything that's been going on in my life these days
It's just been easier to stay away.
I made an admission to myself about you, and it was hard to swallow
But I've been upset...angry...mad...and bitter.
I know that I have no right to be because you've given me so much already
And I should be thankful.
I've been ashamed to admit my feelings to you because
It seems like there are not many people who can truly understand.
But I have taken for granted that you know me, inside and out
I have taken for granted that you, too, feel my pain.
As I choked back the tears, I apologized for staying away
And suddenly, my heart felt unburdened and lightened.
Something indescribable inside me stirred
As if my heart was being gently cradled by loving hands.
I don't know where that loss of faith came from
You have been my sole comforter in my times of need for so long.
I wish that I can say that it won't happen again, but I know that it will
And it just reminds me of how weak I am without you.
Thank you for the reminder to have hope amid all of the chaos
And for welcoming me back into your house without question.
I know that it's been a while, but being in your company today made me realize
That I simply cannot live my life without you.
I came to your house today and I felt so at home
Even though it's been a while, it's as if I never left.
So many people were there to visit, the same ones every week
And here I was, a straggler, an infrequent visitor.
I've missed you so much, but I think of you often
I've thought about how much I've neglected you without meaning to do so.
With everything that's been going on in my life these days
It's just been easier to stay away.
I made an admission to myself about you, and it was hard to swallow
But I've been upset...angry...mad...and bitter.
I know that I have no right to be because you've given me so much already
And I should be thankful.
I've been ashamed to admit my feelings to you because
It seems like there are not many people who can truly understand.
But I have taken for granted that you know me, inside and out
I have taken for granted that you, too, feel my pain.
As I choked back the tears, I apologized for staying away
And suddenly, my heart felt unburdened and lightened.
Something indescribable inside me stirred
As if my heart was being gently cradled by loving hands.
I don't know where that loss of faith came from
You have been my sole comforter in my times of need for so long.
I wish that I can say that it won't happen again, but I know that it will
And it just reminds me of how weak I am without you.
Thank you for the reminder to have hope amid all of the chaos
And for welcoming me back into your house without question.
I know that it's been a while, but being in your company today made me realize
That I simply cannot live my life without you.
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